Pen pals are gradually becoming more technology savvy. Days are gone when people used to write letter to their pen pals. The approach was very personal. People used to receive letters written on attractive stationery from their pen pals. Recipients would be so overjoyed when they saw a letter from their pen pals in the mailbox. It was a real treat. People share their thoughts, joys and sorrows with their pen pals through letters. But, with the introduction of Internet, handwritten letters have become quite an obsolete phenomenon. Email has pretty much replaced handwritten letters.

In this age, if you want to stay in touch with your pen pals, you email them a quick two- or three-line message, and it is just as exciting as the old fashion snail mail. An email is an instant way to see how your pen pal is doing. It’s a great way to congratulate someone or tell someone how sorry you are about a death in the family.

No matter how you correspond with a pen pal, it’s great to know that there is someone out there who makes you feel like you are not alone. There is someone who cares for you and wants to share stories and feelings with you. Despite the geographical barrier, pen pals always remain close at heart. Pen pals are there always for each other to offer emotional support and lift spirits.

Nowadays, the Internet offers ample opportunities for those who want to find pen pals all over the world. Chat rooms and dating sites are the two most popular online destinations to meet pen pals online. Thanks to those sites, you can have pen pals from the remotest parts of the world.

z-PenPals.com Pen Pals provides detailed information on Pen Pals, International Pen Pals, Prison Pen Pals, Military Pen Pals and more. Pen Pals is affiliated with Friends-zone.com Friends Reunited.

Diamond promise rings are quite common, but many are not all that sure what they are. What is a promise ring? And what does it mean?

Promise rings (all of them, not just diamond promise rings, I just love diamond ones) are a symbol of a promise made between 2 people that both intend to keep.

Not just any old promise, there are lots of those. But a really serious promise. One that is so important between two people that they are both prepared to make a public statement of their promise and intention to keep it by the wearing of a diamond promise ring.

They can also be known variously as a pre engagement ring, or a purity ring. Each is slightly different. Sometimes they are called a friendship ring, perhaps incorrectly.

A pre engagement ring is a symbol of an intention between 2 people to get engaged at some time in the future. A diamond promise ring of this type is a serious commitment. One not to be undertaken lightly. A statement to all who see it that these 2 people are committed to each other. That although the time is not right, for various reasons, to get engaged, they have both been prepared to make that serious commitment regardless.

A friendship ring is slightly different and may not be, strictly speaking, a promise ring. It is more commonly a symbol of a very strong friendship between 2 people. There is of course, nothing wrong with this at all, just that it is not strictly a symbol of a promise. Just a symbol of a special feeling. For example where 2 strong friends find that their lives take them to different parts of the world they can exchange diamond promise rings to seal their continuing friendship.

A diamond purity ring, on the other hand, is a symbol of a very strong promise of a very serious nature between 2 people. This is perhaps the most well known and most serious type of diamond promise ring, and perhaps requires the most thought, and the most commitment.

Often entered into between 2 younger people, a purity ring is a promise about sexual purity. Often made between 2 young people for religious reasons, it is a promise to abstain from sexual activity until a certain time, usually their marriage.

And it need not always be a promise made between 2 people, it can also be a promise to oneself. A display of a promise that a young person shall remain pure until the time is right. Still, though, a very serious promise.

Some consider that a purity ring of this type is a promise between 2 “people”, in that the other half of the partnership is God. That this is a covenant or a promise made between a young person and his or her God.

The types of promise rings described are not exclusive. Diamond promise rings can be exchanged really for any reason. However it is very important, firstly, that both people understand exactly the nature of what is being promised. If possible write it down so there can be no misunderstandings. If it can be encapsulated in a short phrase why not get it inscribed on the ring?

And why diamond promise rings, rather than other types of promise rings?

Just because diamonds are the best. Nothing beats a diamond for a ring.

And because they aren’t cheap, so the mere fact that you’ve both made a promise that you are prepared to cement by the serious commitment of spending money means that it is very important to you. A cheap ring really doesn’t mean so much.

So why not display to the world the seriousness of your promise by the wearing of a diamond promise ring? There’s no better way to make a commitment to each other until the time is right.

Find out more about

OK, here is an amazing stat. Did you know that 70% of all of the engagements that happen each year will happen on Christmas/New Year’s/ Valentine’s Day? I don’t know if the gentlemen are just lacking for originality, or if the romance of the season is just too good to pass up? What is the result of the 70%??? Thousands of newly (excited) engaged brides flood the bridal show market each year, which is why, in New England, we have these shows from January – March.

A bridal show is the ultimate way to shop for wedding services. Unlike a magazine or web site, you can see, touch, sample, and question everything wedding related at these events! Here are a few tips of what to look for and what NOT to look for in a bridal show vendor. Now first and foremost, please remember that the vendors have paid to be here! They can pay up to $1500 for a small booth just to have the chance to fight the other vendors to romance your business. This fierce competition can lead to less than desirable behavior at times. These rare moments can make some bridal show attendees shy and unwilling to talk with the vendors. Big mistake!

Rule # 1: Talk with the vendors! The best way to find out whether or not a service is right for you is to always have a conversation. You will determine, usually in the first few minutes, whether a service is right for you. If a vendor is pushy or will not take “NO” for an answer, put down the literature and say, “Thank you for your time.” Then move on. I feel that if a vendor is a “Hard Sell,” they must be desperate for work. If they are that desperate, maybe they are not that busy? If they are not that busy, maybe they are just not very good at what they do? Just my theory…

Rule # 2: Look beyond the candy! Some vendors use the craziest things to lure you into their booth. I have seen things like cookies, dancing girls, water dispensers, and Hummers. Ask yourself, what does any of this have to do with the service the vendor is providing? Chances are that if the vendor has the need for gimmicks to get you into the booth, the substance of the product may be lacking?

Rule # 3: Trust the quality of the paperwork. This area might be the second best way to evaluate a vendor, after speaking with them one on one, of course. If you receive a handout that has been made on a home computer, if the handout looks and feels CHEAP, or if it lacks information, then usually the service lacks as well.

When you dump all of the contents of your bridal show bag onto your kitchen table, look for the paperwork that is of quality. If it is well prepared, informative, and well presented, then chances are the service vendor puts the same care into their customers as they put into their paperwork.

Rule # 4: Beware the Bridal show specials! People love a deal. If you really think you are getting a deal at a bridal show, think again. Many “show specials” are fake. You think you are getting a deal, so you book. In reality, the vendor is charging you the same as if you meet then outside the show. They raise the normal rate for the show to make the “Show special” look that much more attractive. Oldest trick in the book! The deals you can get are the ones you don’t want.

Some vendors will get into quoting wars with other vendors at the show. YES, you might be able to beat down a vendor if you play them against another service provider at the show, but this is a sign of desperateness and you might not like the service you have after the smoke clears. Some vendors will also give you the lowest level of service possible, if you beat them down on price. “Small price = Small service.”

Did anyone ever hear the phrase, “You get what you pay for?” If a vendor does not negotiate price, that is usually the sure sign of a stable, quality, reputable business. Watch out for Bridal show prize boxes! They are usually a way for the vendor to market you after the show. You actually win nothing except a mail box full of junk literature and phone solicitation. Don’t fall for gimmicks. Look for substance.

Rule # 5: If it looks and sounds too good to be true, usually it is too good to be true. I would encourage any bride-to-be to get out and enjoy a bridal show. It is a big part of the experience of getting married. Just be careful and realistic when speaking with vendors.

Best wishes to all those that are getting married. Hope to see you at the next bridal show.

Rob Alberti, owner of After Hours DJ Service ( afterhoursdj.net afterhoursdj.net) and proud member of The DJ Network ( thedjnetwork.com thedjnetwork.com) has been a wedding entertainment specialist for over 20 years.

A multi-tiered wedding cake beautifully decorated is an important part of any bride’s dream wedding, but the price tag can give you nightmares. Use these tips to take a bite out of the bill. Your cheap wedding cake will still look and taste fabulous.

If your heart is set on a three tiered cake that feeds 100, order it with plain white frosting, no decorations, and then decorate at the reception with fresh flowers. Or you can wrap a length of lace around each layer, like you would a ribbon. Of course remove the lace before cutting. Your wedding cake will be cheap but gorgeous.

Stick with basic flavors and fillings, exotic flavorings add to the cost of the cake.

Rather than one huge multi-tiered cake, use a modest tiered cake and then several (as many as you need for your guests) sheet cakes. Serving will go faster this way as well. No one will know your wedding cake was cheap.

Order from a grocery store rather than a bakery. Many grocers have onsite bakeries, just like they have onsite florist departments.

Don’t order a wedding cake at all. Order a sheet cake with white frosting to serve guests and a smaller two tiered cake to cut for photos.

Depending on how many servings you need, order a full sheet cake (100 servings), a half sheet cake (50 servings) and a quarter sheet cake (25 servings), all iced in white. Place the half sheet on the full sheet cake and then the quarter sheet on top. Use ready-to-use frosting that comes in a can with a nozzle to touch up any mistakes and fill in the gap between the layers. You don’t have to remove the cardboard between the layers, it will help steady the cake when it’s time to cut. Don’t go any higher than three layers, if you do you run the risk of the bottom layer being squashed by the weight of the upper layers.

Use cupcakes. Order as many as you need in white paper wrapping, and white frosting. Use a tiered serving dish to arrange the cupcakes. Or you can buy two or three inexpensive white plastic serving platters. Line the platters with white paper lace doilies. Place the first platter on the table. Place three inverted wine glasses at noon, 4 o’clock and 8 o’clock on the platter. Fill in around the glasses with cupcakes. Place the second platter on the overturned wine glasses. In the center of the second platter, place three more inverted wine glasses. Fill the second platter with cupcakes. Place the final platter on the overturned wine glasses and fill with cupcakes.

Use a two tiered cake for the bride and groom to cut at the reception. Order a sheet cake for however many guests will be attending. On a separate table offer guests various toppings for their slice of cake. You can offer fresh strawberries, chocolate syrup, raspberries, sprinkles and whipped cream. Consider offering several flavors of ice cream. It’s fun and festive.

Have a friend, or several friends bake the cake using various sizes of heart shaped pans. Each can be iced in shades of pale pink, pale lilac, cream, and white. The cakes are placed on a table covered with a lace cloth. Rose petals in pinks, cream, and lilac – or whatever colors suit your color scheme are scattered between the cakes.

None of your guests will realize how cheap your wedding cake is, they’ll just be impressed by how beautiful it was.

Find out more about insidesecretstoventurecapital.com Weddings on a Shoestring Budget You can save on flowers, gifts, the cake, and the reception.

Dee Power is the author of several nonfiction books and the novel overtimethenovel.com Over Time You can find out more about her at brianhillanddeepower.com her website.

All of us who are active on the dating scene have many questions in our mind. What kind of person should I date? How do I behave during a date? What is the result of my date? Did my date like me? Is he/she honest in what they say or I should be careful? The mind gets bombarded with questions. The situation becomes so trouble some for some of us that we get tired and say- no more dating for me.

We date a person because we are looking for a partner. Many of us may not marry the partner but we still look for long-term relationship. For that we must begin with asking about the kind of person who will be right for us. Otherwise the whole purpose is lost. Let us look at the qualities we must look for in our prospective partner.

Similarities in thinking, attraction towards each other, common values and political views and same approach towards various life situations are some of the areas we must investigate before we zero upon a person.

Attraction towards each other- if you are not attracted to the other person, nothing will work. Attraction can be of much types- physical attraction, attraction towards intellectual ability, attraction to the personality and so on. Analyze your attraction and decide if that will last for at least five years. If you think that you will no more be attracted to the person after some months, do not go ahead. Many times we are very much attracted towards a person. But after sometime the attraction wanes. This happens with physical attraction most often. You like somebody’s features and body build. After some moths, you find nothing new or attractive in that body. Why that happens is a subject for psychiatrists and psychologists to decide.

In this part, we have looked at attraction. In the second part we will look more at attraction and other aspects of a long-term relationship.

Myspace users,please click here for- jazzycomments.com Myspace Comments such as Compliments, Cool Comments, Cute Comments, Flirty Comments, Funky Comments, Funny Comments, Hot Comments, Love Comments,Picture Comments, Profile Comments, Sexy Comments, Sweet Comments and Thanks For The Add comments. For Myspace Graphics click- jazzy-graphics.com” target=”_new Myspace Graphics to view graphics such as – Birthday Graphics, Comment Graphics, Holidays Graphics , Daily Fun, Love Graphics, Expressions and Friendship Graphics For Myspace Quotes click- jazzyquotes.com/ Myspace Quotes

Guys, want to enhance your chances of having sex? Unless you’ve got Brad Pitt type looks and a bank balance to match, then attracting the opposite sex for most of us takes a little work.

Human pheromones are gaining popularity at an ever increasing rate but before you whip out the credit card and buy the first pheromone spray, perfume or oil you come across let me give you a few tips on what you should be looking for.

Do Human Pheromones Actually Exist?

The amazing thing about the whole human pheromone debate is nothing has been established to either kill or completely confirm their existance. Countless trials have been conducted since the early 1970’s and it wasn’t until Dr. Winifred Cutler started experimenting with pheromone-based additives in perfumes and sprays and reported interesting levels of success that people really started to take notice.

Since then, and particularly during the last decade, it has spawned a rash of companies marketing pheromone-based products as a sure-fire way of attracting the opposite sex and also same sex. But many still ask… do pheromones work!

Human Pheromones – The Practical vs. Theory

Will they get you laid? No, not on their own they won’t! You see, going out and spending anything up to $100 on a pheromone product, slapping it on and heading for your local nightclub and expecting to score without doing a little work will leave you disappointed – most of the time.

You would be better off standing in the middle of the club with a placard that reads… “Hey Girls, Look! I’m wearing Human Pheromones. Don’t All Rush Me At The Same Time!”

However, as a ground-breaker, then there is evidence to suggest you’ll get noticed. So okay, you get noticed, then what? This is what I mean about needing to do a little work. As a conversation starter they’re great. Now it’s up to you to hone your conversational skills and do your thing. If you just stand there hoping her eyes turn red with mad passion and then jumps you there and then on the spot, you’d better settle in for a long night… on your own!

Buying Human Pheromone-Based Products

Remember, you can’t smell pheromones. As an additive to a perfume or fragrance-based product it’s the fragrance in the bottle which you can smell. Products come in all shapes and sizes including sprays, oils and in many cases, you can purchase concentrated pheromones to add to your favorite cologne.

Here’s what you do when shopping for products. Stick with those companies who manufacture in-house. They’ve conducted and continue to conduct research on human pheromones and are serious about staying in business and developing a relationship with you. In many cases, there is a newsletter you can sign up for and remember to check if there is a contact number you can use for customer support when you need it.

Pheromone Confidence

There is a school of thought around at the moment that it’s the confidence knowing you are wearing pheromones which is the attraction. I can’t argue with that. Ask yourself, would you be more attracted to someone exuding confidence and personality over someone who isn’t? Makes you think, doesn’t it?

Dean Caporella is a professional broadcaster. Find out why thepheromoneadvantage.com/Pheromonesarticle_list.html human pheromones can help you boost your sex life! Also, get the latest pheromone news and reviews at thepheromoneadvantage.com thepheromoneadvantage.com

At work?

Find me a soul, who loves what they do and I’ll find you a happy being. Find me a soul who love their work and I’ll find you a person whose doing the best they can. Find me a heart that flies at the thought of another day doing what they do. And I’ll find you a saint, a master, a lama, a person who is true to their cause.

At home?

Find me the home where incompetence is great, find me the home where there’s a welcome debate, find me a home where there’s kindness although harsh, and I’ll find you the love of the sun. Find me the family who knows how to laugh at the honesty of a major mistake. Find me the people who know love more than grades and I’ll show you a real dad and mum.

Between lovers?

Find me the lover who has a picture in their mind of tomorrow the next and the next, and I’ll find the expectations that kill all the dreams that nature intended to come.
You can’t find a real lover with their alter worshiping a God. Love is the god, and the alter is their partner, this is how two become one. You can’t find me a lover who worships the guru, they’ve never learned to trust what’s real. Find me the lover, with the marks of their lover, and I’ll show you divine love there at one.

Show me the lovers whose humility shines, where independence is completely a myth, and I’ll show you the beauty, the magic the love, that comes when two souls are at one.

What’s love got to do with it? Everything. A broken heart, that’s nothing to do with love. A broken heart is the lack of it.

Live with Spirit

About the Author:

16 useful tips for maintaining a healthy spouse relationship

[1] Live the law of love. Refrain from saying unkind or negative things… It is most often when a partner harbours hate and revenge deep inside their heart for a certain period of time that widens the gap of misunderstanding. I do feel that sometimes angry or unkind words are spoken when someone is angry or provoked. I presume that these wrong remarks are said without a true intention. Angered phrases never make any sense! Nobody dares say that he or she can remain calm when provoked. To remain unprovoked is really a skill that all of us have to learn.

[2] Assume the best of each one another…. No comparison please. This is one of the ‘killer’ that injects poisonous venom into an immature partner and will be killed’ by jealousy. So, it is advisable not to evoke old pains and wounds by reminding each other of negatives. Learn to assume the best of each other…

[3] Love lives by giving and forgiving, self lives by getting and forgetting… Giving and forgiving….. giving is comparatively easier that forgiving one’s faults or sins. But true love means forgiving and forgetting. Be erased of wounds and stale tales… afterall, all of us learn through mistakes. Provided one is working hard towards an improvement, provided one is genuine enough, we should learn to forgive and forget.

[4] Speak softly and do things quietly this is a virtue, a virtue for all ladies and mothers. Too many a times they that at one time were lovers, but after becoming mothers have changed from a meek kitten to an aggressive tigress! We do understand the emotional changes that takes place to these women, of their untold sufferings, suppressed hurts and roles expected of them, that these women are also stressed. Shouting and screaming are sometimes their only ways to release their stress…but think twice! Negative effects would be doubled, seen or unseen. One can imagine the negative impact it would make to their youngs, their parents-in-laws and their husbands.

[5] Be attentive to minor changes or needs Women are actually born to be more sensitive to changes or needs of the family. Maximize your talents and make sure that you can shoot down the problems before it really started to create any disturbances.

[6] Learn to mix with fun and jokes when partaking in the routine work. A joyous and humorous wife or mother will be very much treasured in a home. Be smiling always, a sweet smile adorns the face means so much more than any lipsticks or flowers.

[7] Master the skill to cook well, feed the husband, kids and parent-in-laws. A hungry man is always an angry man! Heard of this? Try to put in special skills to add smiles to their faces when serving lunch or dinner. Always give them pleasant surprises once in a while. Cook nutritious, delicious healthy food for the family. Be health-conscious and be budget-wise. One shouldnt be a spendthrift too. Think of the one who sweats to make ends meet.

[8] Be understanding and be a good listener in times of sharing. Learn how to massage away each other’s tiredness. Learn how to dis-stress each other. Bring in fun, even as parents.

[9] Don’t live in suspicion. Don’t exaggerate a negative word or a meaningless action. Don’t push things over the wall. Be patient to achieve peace and resolutions.

[10] Be presentable, looking clean and robust. no husband wants to see a dirty, tired, and worried face after a hard day’s work. Keep oneself healthy in body, mind, emotion and spirit. Be a winner, not a whiner.

[11] A spouse should portray certain roles appropriate to spice up their love-life. Learn to lure, tempt your spouse that will keep their love afire with desires and needs. Sometimes can be posing as lovers, girl/boyfriends, partners, enchantress, flirting with each other and evoking another romance, passion too magical to believe or too hot to handle! There is nothing wrong in the awakening of such passion among spouses!.

[12] Be open-minded to accept new ideas. Both partners have to come to an agreement in taking up roles as wise parents, educating them as should be. Practise give and take, stand and sit, share and reap…. We should set good examples for children to follow, monkey see, monkey do…Bearing in mind that parents are the head of the family, so caution must be taken on the language we speak…..never underestimate the importance of proper and right influences,…the hands that rock the cradle rules the world….

[13] Solve disputes or disagreements away from the kids. Give it a specific date for resolutions.

[14] Be just, but never demanding true justice. No emotions can be balanced on justice. You love me, so I love you… I love you, so you must love me! haha…. Can it be measured as fair and square? The 3 stages of love kindled emotions portrayed at different stages are not easily achieved, it is a journey, not a destination. It works hand in hand with patience and mutual understanding. From lovers to parents, from parents to grandparents living to old age as companions for life. Don’t be misled by some romance stories and films where the heroes and heroines loved dramatically and lived on beds of roses.

[15] Be contented with what we have at hand. One bird in our hand is much better that many birds in the bushes. Don’t be tempted by what looked better or seemed delicious, but stand firm and not swayed by temptations of flesh. ‘A forbidden night with his lover costed him his whole life imprisonment and death was what he got eventually!!’ Samson regretted. Everyone knows this bible story.

[16] Go for holidays… arrange some time for each other only, to renew one’s relationship. Though not afire, but into the mode of deeper cherishing of one another. Love does undergo different stages. Hopefully into a mature state where the love for each other matters more than the need to be together.

Some says that the most perfect match is a deaf husband with a blind wife. But we won’t want to be deaf and blind. We want to be dear and beautiful! We are loving couples to last. Genuine love will be satisfying and blossoming. BEST of all is that all of us will be moving towards becoming a healthier and happier LOVER!

Lucy Wong is a health and nutrition consultant. Her interest in health related issues include the development of mental health. She is also keen in sharing Multiple Qs, she is also an educator and has written many articles on this subject in her personal column under “alternative health” in

Planning a wedding is as exciting as the big day itself, once the engagement is official. From the early setting of the tentative time and place for the wedding ceremony and reception, to all wedding gift ideas for the bride, groom, bridesmaids, groomsmen, flower girls and ring bearers, there is to much to do, starting with the selection of the wedding-party participants and their roles.

As sweet as candy canes and candy bars, children are an important part of your wedding party, and the number of them participating as flower girls and ring bearers are limited only by your patience and the supply, because sometimes there are not too many of them in a family.

When it comes to thinking about wedding gift ideas, consider candy canes and candy bars, as the ideal present to encourage children to participate in your wedding, and even motivate others outside your family, such as your neighbors’ sons or those of your friends or co-workers.

Many brides are concerned about the role of children according to their ages and where they have to work in the procession. In the United States, the role of flower girls and ring bearers are limited to children under age 6, but that trend does not exclude children of any other age if they are willing to participate and perform their role accordingly.

Wedding gift ideas may include presents made with candy bars decorated attractively. Gifts including candy canes along with a toy or a wedding favor, can be enough to make any child participate responsibly, although the older they get the more likely they may not be as thrilled to participate in the wedding party, but ask them if they want to, it never hurts.

Children from 3 to 6 can be enrolled as a flower girl, ring-bearer, or trainbearer, while those from 7 to 10 can also participate by carrying candles or the prayer book in the wedding procession, tending to the guestbook, as well as handing out programs and flowers to mothers and grandmothers.

However, you can adjust these age ranges according to your family circumstances and the children’s desire to participate, including those young teens from age 11 to 15, who can receive the titles of junior bridesmaid or junior groomsman, adding the dignity they need as adolescent attendants.

Disregarding their ages, include children when planning your wedding gift ideas, remembering that there is no need for fancy presents. Everybody loves candy and candy bars are an all-time favorite available in a variety of flavors, colors and fantasy shapes, or simply shaped like candy canes, which can also serve as placeholders with a card attached to the bow.

Natalie Aranda writes about family and relationship. Planning a wedding is as exciting as the big day itself, once the engagement is official. When it comes to thinking about moonsome.com/wedding/ wedding gift ideas, consider candy canes and sugarstand.com candy bars, as the ideal present to encourage children to participate in your wedding, and even motivate others outside your family, such as your neighbors’ sons or those of your friends or co-workers.

Valentine’s Day. This can feel glorious, or very painful. Everywhere are hearts and flowers, and if we don’t feel particularly loving to the partner we have, or if we feel lonely without a partner, we’d rather wait it out somewhere.

Whatever your attitude about Valentine’s Day – as something created especially for retailers of gifts, or as a well structured program to get men to step up to romance – here’s the truth: Men like to give girls presents.

That’s it. They do. So if we’re between men, or we don’t particularly like our man this week, the big question is – what do we really want for Valentine’s Day?

We could approach it from a few angles. One, give ourselves something lovely. A spa treatment, a day of maid service, that frivolous trinket or object d’art we’ve been looking at, a day at the movies. This would be a good time to get a manicure. This would be a good time to treat ourselves like queens and take a break, for heaven’s sake, for love of ourselves.

Two, this would be a good day to make a commitment to Relationship. We could simply step back and let all this Valentine’s stuff wash over us – in other words, let the media and the retailers gift us by sending out all these vibrations about love. We could bask in Valentine’s Day window dressing, in all the teddy bears holding hearts, in all the commercials for jewelry.

Instead of going with thinking miserly and resentful, and maybe even feeling miserable and sorry for ourselves, we could go the other route: Bless this Valentine’s Day. It’s for you. It’s for me. It’s the beginning of a new life of love. It’s a marker. The end of reaching out and the beginning of reeling in. The end of pushing away and the beginning of inviting in. The end of control and the beginning of surrender.

A void doesn’t feel good. So we try to fill it up. If you’re lonely – if the other side of the bed is empty or filled by someone you’re not sure you love anymore, or who’s making you feel defensive and uneasy – stop trying not to notice the big, gaping hole where you want passion and romance to be. Notice it. Go there. Let yourself by lonely and miserable for a moment. Don’t be afraid.

Feeling something “negative” is not the same as dwelling on it. Feeling it and going through it is not the same as complaining, justifying, blaming the emptiness on someone else (here the creators of Valentine’s Day) or lying in bed all day with the covers pulled over your head. Feeling and going through pain gets you to the other side very quickly.

Resisting feeling the pain gets you nowhere. We are stuck not because we feel bad, but because we are doing everything in our power not to feel bad, and that feels even worse.

Try something different. Instead of thinking of Valentine’s Day as something awful to get through, try Blessing it. Bless all those who have love. Every couple you see walking arm and arm down the street does not diminish your chances of enjoying the same, they actually increase your chances of enjoying the same! Yes, really, lovers goose your possibilities. Just the fact that they are wandering around right in front of you tells you that you are bringing in love! Love breeds love. You are not the exception. You are the rule. Love in your vicinity is contagious. Watch what the lovers are doing. Instead of going with jealousy, or the old habit of looking at what you have or don’t have and wondering if you ever will, and going to the same, habitual dark places – watch them!

Look at the commercials! See what these folks are doing. See what the women who have a nice man with them are doing. We most always just look at what that woman looks like. Oh, we think – she’s pretty, she’s thin, of course that hottie chased her down. And then we see a woman with a lot of curves walking in the embrace of a cute, buff guy, and we wonder – how did she get him? And we come up with several explanations – all of which avoid the CoachRori obvious, that he simply likes her! And we can’t possibly ever guess what it is about her that he’s attracted to. That’s between him and him, and chances are even she doesn’t know. Bless any woman who has knowingly or unknowingly kept love flowing.

Keep your eyes open. Use Valentine’s Day as a tutorial. If you’re single and you want a romantic partner, go look at rings and pick out what you like. Feng Shui your bedroom. Cut out paper hearts, go to a singles party and flirt, or stay home with a romantic movie. Let love come to you. If you have a partner and also a lot of conflict and stress, stop doing what you’re doing and see what it’s like to just not do anything.

Bless love wherever you see it. Practice opening your heart. Next year at this time, you will be the one walking arm in arm with a wonderful man who adores you. Believe it. You won’t need to feel sorry for those you see around you who don’t have what you have. You will be teaching them by example, just as those around you with love are teaching you. Let them bless you. They will. And Bless them back. Love is in the air, and if you let it, it will land with you.

Love and Blessings to you all.

In her packed Los Angeles workshops, relationship coach, author and speaker Rori Gwynne teaches women the completely original, simple-to-do and stunningly effective techniques for communication, confidence, and connecting with men that she used to turn her own now-glorious eighteen-year marriage around. Visit Rori at CoachRori.com CoachRori.com to get the Free Coach Rori Mantra and Translations for Connecting with Men, to sign up for the free, powerful CoachRori e-zine, and to see how Rori can help you Have the Relationship You Want.