Making wedding works is more than preparing the wedding tasks and fulfilling them.

It is going to be tiring and frustrating! Very frustrating!

Wedding-related tasks include getting the bridal studio, contacting hotels, calling and making appointment with the wedding photographers, food tasting and many more.

These tasks are simple to do. The hardest part is how to get your soon-to-be spouse to remain supportive all the way. And not just till the wedding.

There is still a very long way to go.

I have always told brides and grooms that the mini-quarrels they have during their wedding preparation is just the tip of the iceberg and it is normal to have disagreement once in a while.

More will come along the way and in bigger quality and quantity!

My wife and I do have conflicts too and this is absolutely normal.

Couples who tell me over the tele-consultation that they have never argued before in their lives are abnormal.

Why having conflicts while preparing wedding is healthy?

It creates opportunity for them to learn about conflict-management. If you don’t learn now, then when is the “right” time.

It is like those people who are smooth-sailing in life wil not know how to tackle problems when they arise.

Wedding planning is very stressful because tasks come and go in big loads. However, it makes a difference when two (both bride and groom) are working hand-in-hand and tackling every challenge that comes along the way.

If one refuses to tackle and stand up for the other, you may want to take this chance to seriously reconsider who you are marrying to.

Marriage is a long way of blissfulness and uncertainty. It takes two to go through together and to survive till the end of times.

Leaving one along the way is a definite no-no. It is no doubt an act of irresponsiblity and failure to perform the spousal role.

So what makes you so certain of the person you are marrying is the right one for you? If there is no support from that person now, what makes you so certain every word of the wedding vow is clearly understood and deeply embedded in the hearts even after marriage?

Again, you are the best person to decide. So we respect your choice.

So how do we reduce the quarrels to almost zero?

1. Respect both as unqiue individuals with different values, beliefs and expectations
2. Verbally express you need support. Not many humans are psychic and neither is your spouse
3. When quarrel arises, one must learn to give way. Giving way is not admitting you are wrong. You are doing it because the relationship matters to you.
4. Learn to use humor to push away conflict. Pull a funny face or say “sorry” in a humorous way.
5. Forget and forgive just because you love each other so much.

Jhong Ren runs romance-fire.com” title=”My Wedding Blog My Wedding Blog- an online wedding diary that gives more than just the usual tips and advice on a daily basis. Check out romance-fire.com” title=” romance-fire.com romance-fire.com now and by all means leave us your comments, share some of your own wedding experiences and give us some suggestions for new resources we can recommend to our community.

Thinking about remarrying? Consider these reasons why others have chosen not to. One out of two marriages ends in divorce. 60% of second marriages fail. 66% of marriages and living together situations end in break up according to the U.S. Census Bureau. Read more…

The “EX” Factor: Why Men and Women Over 50 Don’t Remarry

In focus groups conducted by this author with men and women over 50 and divorced, five major reasons why they don’t want to remarry surfaced. Finances are the prevalent concern of both groups.

Financial

• Debt responsibility of a new partner
• Alimony and child support payments
• Family inheritance issues
• Financial responsibility for stepchildren
• Financial responsibility for elderly parents

Health

• Deteriorating health of partner
• Caregiver responsibilities
• Lack of healthcare coverage
• Health issues of the extended family
• Differences in beliefs of medical treatment-homeopathic versus prescription medicines

Children

• Strained relationships with partner’s children
• Holiday sharing
• Gift giving
• Wills, trusts, and inheritance
• Visitation and caring for children and grandchildren

Independence

• Loss of freedom
• Set in their ways
• Lifestyle changes
• Lack of common interests
• Co-mingling of household goods and possessions

Social

• Family acceptance
• Challenges of meeting potential partners
• Different religious affiliations
• Acceptance of friends
• Differences in social etiquette

Currently, R.J. is co-authoring He Feels, She Feels-Dating, Relationships and Remarrying After 50. He invites you to complete their survey on his website, (www.rjlancaster.com) to further their research. As a thank you, R.J. will send you an E-book of your choice as listed on his website. E-mail R.J. with your preference upon completion of the survey.

Ryan James (R.J.) Lancaster is the president of the Education & Learning Institute, a research, seminar and publishing company. He helps organizations and individuals think differently to ensure their success. He is also a professional speaker and author of E-books.

Contact information: (602) 274-4609 Email: mailto:rlancaster5@cox.net rlancaster5@cox.net
Website: rjlancaster.com rjlancaster.com

Love!
That elated feeling of floating on Cloud 9!
That warm glow of true happiness!
That ecstatic feeling of giving your all!
Your Soulmate!

But are they really? And could these, be feelings of infatuation or attraction?

How can we tell when we have met our Soulmate?

Can we find our Soulmate in an alternative relationship type – as opposed to the conventional heterosexual relationship type? And even in a conventional heterosexual relationship type, can we find our Soulmate? Or an abusive relationship?

Opposites attract, but can we base a solid relationship on this? Can we withstand the repellent side of our relationship?

What is a Soulmate? Someone to share the rest of your life with? Someone who understands you, and you them? Someone who understands and acts selflessly on that understanding? Someone who is willing to become one with you? I read this book recently, called ‘Outback’ and the first couple in the book were a perfect example of Soulmates – they just simply understood each other and acted on that understanding.

And what of that Love poem above? When do we honestly feel those feelings described, and how long do they last? Moments? Months? Years?

I don’t know – does the description of a Soulmate (above), really exist? Or is it an ideal … ideal? There may be relationships out there who can boast such an ideal, and I say ‘Good for you, and lucky you, for such relationships are few and far between!’ Why?

It is easy enough to understand someone, isn’t it? And to want to share the rest of your life with them?

The secret is not in striving for the ideal, but genuinely developing the finer qualities that a relationship can offer.
Herein lays the foundation for a long and happy union.

Apart from obvious body parts, one thing that humans share is feelings – emotions! However, each human has a slightly different depth of feeling. Let’s have a look at one or two scenarios -

1. If a person was dominated by angry, spiteful, vindictive emotions, would someone who displays happy, giving and truthful emotions balance the scales enough for them to become Soulmates?

Or would the negative emotions be too strong for the positive emotions to take hold, and vice-versa? What would happen then? The positive person might close up and become fearful, or the negative person may become so positive that the positive person turns negative – even more than their negative partner

Or would the positive person become just as negative as their partner, or vice-versa? Here might be a Soulmate situation – where each person acts selflessly on their understanding of each other – either positive or negative – it would still be a Soulmate relationship

2. If a person was solemn, serene, peaceful, would someone who was outgoing, agitating and aggressive balance the scales enough for them to become Soulmates?

3. Would someone who is creative, introverted and judgemental find a Soulmate in someone who has no imagination, who is loud and extroverted and who has no opinions?

The list of scenarios is endless and in each instance, I have offered the alternative opposite as an example of extremist relationships and different levels of depth to these feelings.

Herein ends Part 1 of Love – Your Soulmate. If you feel some of the points mentioned above make sense, then Part 2 offers ideas on how to seek your Soulmate.

Amiria is the owner of cupidsfriends.com cupidsfriends.com If you are looking for a genuine relationship, join cupidsfriends.com today!

Whether you do the dumping or you are the one who got dumped, breakups are painful. If you initiated the breakup you may feel guilty, or question that you made the right decision. If you were the one who got dumped you may feel shocked, hurt, and angry. Breakups are painful for either party. There are things you can do to get through the breakup, to ease your pain. Sometimes breakups can bring a relationship closer together when both parties realize that they really were meant to be together, or they can be a blessing because you are no longer with the wrong person.

First thing you should do is acknowledge your feelings, its ok to feel sad, hurt, angry, and shocked. This was a relationship you spent time in. Live in the moment and allow yourself to cry if need be. Talk to your friends about your relationship, let them know how much you hurt; they may have advice for you that may be helpful. Additionally they may offer you some insight about your relationship that you did not see. You may want to spend the next several evenings/weekends at home taking extra good care of yourself. Watch television, lie in bed and eat ice cream, paint your nails, or try on a new hair style.

Keep busy. Yes, you are going to have to go through a difficult transition. Before you start dating other people consider revitalizing hobbies you may have put aside to be with your ex. You may want to invite over your girlfriends, and enjoy an evening watching movies, or cooking; heck you can have a slumber party. See if there are local events that you may want to go to, for example there might be cooking classes at a nearby store; museums often have special events, or taking a class on a hobby that you enjoy.

Do not call your ex. I know, this is the hardest part. Even if you really want to, resist. Employ your friends; call them instead of your Ex. Chances are in an emotional state you will not say what you really want to say. Wait on contacting your Ex for several weeks. Let the first wave of hurt and anger subside before you attempt to make contact. This may take a week, month, or longer before you are able to speak to them in a calm way.

Do not email, or send a letter to your Ex. Wait! Write the letter, write the email, but do not send it. Wait, you may want to burn the letter have you write it. Do not send it. Allow the initial pain to pass. You can always get in touch with your Ex later. The best revenge on an Ex is letting them think you are moving along and you are doing very well. You may want to keep a journal of your feelings, and write down all of your feelings so you can go back and organize your thoughts, and take a better look at your past relationship.

The pain of a breakup will eventually ease. Most people who have dated have been through a breakup or two, and they do know how you feel. Acknowledge your feelings, and let them out. Letting out your feelings either privately in a journal or with your friends will help you feel validated. Do not contact your Ex until the pain of the breakup goes away. If you are hurting you are not likely to say the right things, besides it better to let you’re Ex think that you’re doing well enough without them. You may want to consider renewing your relationship, so do not say anything that you might regret. You may also realize that this relationship was not meant to be, and it is time for you to move on. Remember, that the pain, the hurt, and the sadness will go away, while it may take longer than we like, keep in mind going through this may help make your next relationship better.

Stephanie Manley is the editor for copykat.com copykat.com, also writes a column at romancelessons.blogspot.com romancelessons.blogspot.com about lessons in relationships, and romance.