Your new love is such a delight! What passion, what wonderful desire to be with you, only you, day and night, night and day! What a refreshing change from the last few men you’ve dated whose idea of commitment was dinner and a movie on Saturday night, maybe. Since that first blissful day you met, quite by accident, when your dog and his got all tangled up in their leashes outside the local Starbucks, you’ve been joined at the hip. How your life has changed in 3 short weeks! You’re positively glowing.

Of course you’ve been ignoring your friends, forgetting about yoga class, and excusing your way out of your usual visits to family, but so what? You’re much too happy to bother with anything but him, him and him.

A few more weeks of this, and you’re beginning to float back down to earth. As much as you adore him, you miss your friends, are beginning to feel flabby, and are getting a serious case of the guilties over not checking in with family. So you say “Hon, I’m going to spend the evening over at Helen’s – we’re getting together, just the girls,” expecting him to say “Oh, that’s nice – have a good time, I’ll see you when you get in.” Instead, you get “Why? I thought you were going to spend the evening with me,” when indeed you had no such plans. “Uh, well, I’ve kind of been neglecting my friends,” you say, “and anyway, it’s just for a few hours.” “I see,” he says, cold as ice. Your heart plummets, “What’s wrong?” you panic, watching your love disintegrate. “Nothing,” he says, “Nothing at all. You just go on and have a good time with your friends.” Now he is not only icicle tongued, he’s not looking at you. He’s dropped onto the sofa and appears to be taking great interest in Architectural Digest. Your Architectural Digest that he’s never even glanced at before. “No, go, really” he says, finally looking up at you, with a sort-of smile. “OK,” you say, unsettled, but off you go.

Exactly one hour later you get the first call. You answer your cell, surprised it’s him. He wants to know when you’re coming home, he misses you. Surprised and somewhat confused, you tell him you’ll be back in an hour or so. In an hour, you get another call: are you all right? He’s worried, you said you’d be home by now. Somewhat embarrassed, you leave your friends. You get several more calls on your way home, all protestations of missing you and “can’t wait to see you.” On the one hand you’re flattered, on the other it feels kind of creepy. And when you get home, he holds you tight and says “If you really loved me, you wouldn’t make me worry like this. Promise you won’t do it again.” “But I just went to spend a little time with friends,” you protest. “You don’t really love me,” he says. “I do!” you cry. “Then you won’t leave me alone like that,” he says, and his kisses melt you into agreeing, yet all the time you wonder what spending time with friends has to do with you loving him.

Absolutely nothing. It does, however, speak to a major control issue. Controlling individuals want you to spend all your time only with them, or, put another way, they want your total and complete attention. Even when a controlling individual doesn’t want you around, they expect you in some way to be giving them attention (thinking about them, doing for them) and they don’t want you giving your time and attention to anyone else unless it is part of – doing something for them.

Don’t fall into the trap of “if you really loved me you’d spend more time with me,” or any variations on that theme. Someone who tries to guilt you into spending more time with you isn’t being loving, they are being manipulative. As the relationship grows and develops over time, your respective activities and interests naturally integrate into the relationship, and your time together will naturally shift and change accordingly. The key word is time, not “time” as in “more time with the new person,” but “time” as in take the time to see how the various parts of your lives shift and change to fit well together before you give heart and soul away.

Noelle C. Nelson, Ph.D. is a nationally respected psychologist, author, seminar leader and legal consultant. A business trial consultant for nearly 20 years, Dr. Nelson works closely with attorneys, management and corporate executives so they present a persuasive and credible case before a judge and jury. Dr. Nelson’s books include The Power of Appreciation in Business (MindLab Publishing). noellenelson.com noellenelson.com

Finding the perfect autumn wedding decorations can be one of the hardest parts of planning a fall wedding, but it is important to give this decision the time and the care that it deserves.

Finding the perfect decorations can set the tone for the wedding, so it is important that the decorations you choose be of the highest possible quality.

Make Sure The Decorations Match The Theme Of The Autumn Wedding

When choosing the right autumn wedding decorations it is important to consider the type of wedding ceremony carefully. There are many different kinds of weddings, from the most casual to the most formal and elaborate.

It is important that the decorations you choose be appropriate for the wedding. Casual wedding decorations would of course not be appropriate for a formal wedding, just as formal and elaborate wedding decorations would not be the best choice for a more casual affair.

It is important therefore to think carefully about the type of wedding you are planning, and to purchase the autumn wedding decorations accordingly.

Using Wedding Planning Guides And Bridal Magazines

The good news is that there are certainly many different places to find information on the best wedding decorations.

For instance, the many wedding planning guides and bridal magazines on the local newsstands are often a great source of information and ideas for wedding decorations, so be sure to consult these publications.

The Wow Factor Of The Internet

In addition there are a number of excellent ideas for autumn wedding decorations on the internet, just waiting to be discovered.

In addition to the many commercial websites, where some great wedding decorations can be easily purchased, there are many great newsgroups, blogs and email lists that can provide all sorts of tips on designing, choosing and making the best wedding decorations for the big day.

There are so many different kinds of autumn wedding decorations to choose from that the hardest part just may be choosing only one.

Shaunta Pleasant is a professional writer and editor on wedding topics. Visit my site to learn more about planning the perfect wedding at

“I don’t understand,” said Don. “My business is going well. I’m a good provider. I give my wife and the children everything they want. We live in a beautiful house and we drive expensive cars. Last winter I took the whole family on a trip to Mexico. I don’t fool around with other women. I do play golf every Sunday with the guys. But a man needs some recreation. I don’t understand why I seem to do so well at work, but when I come home I feel like a failure!

My wife, Sue, is always nagging me. She either has a headache or is too tired to be sexual. Sue spends outrageous amounts of money at her favorite sport, shopping. That woman finds more things to buy than I or she can ever get to use. When I met Sue she was slim and attractive. She has put on at least twenty-five pounds and doesn’t seem to take care of herself. Nor does she want to do anything for me. She won’t iron my shirts anymore or get up early enough to make my breakfast. I’m lucky if I get a decent dinner once in a while. I’m sick and tired of not feeling good enough for her. No matter what I do, Sue is not happy.

My kids are disappointing too. They have so much more than I ever did. Do you think they’re happy and grateful? No way. All they do is whine for more, watch television, or fight with each other. Their grades are nothing to rave about, and I know that they are bright. I talk to the other guys and they seem to have a similar scenario.

When Sue told me that she had called you, Helene, for an appointment I asked her why. She said that she was depressed. I asked Sue to talk to me about her problems but she wouldn’t. She told me that I’m not hearing her. I think I do hear Sue. I hear her nag, nag, and nag. Now she has threatened to leave me if I don’t come to therapy too. There is nothing wrong with me. I’m a very successful man. Many people respect and admire me. I want you to know that I’m here but I only came because Sue made me, and I resent it.”

“Don,” I replied, “thank you for coming in and sharing all your frustrations. If it is any consolation, I want you to know that I have heard these same complaints hundreds of times before with the many couples I have counseled. You are unique, but your problem is not. You see, Don, you probably have been brought up like most men by your parents and society to believe that your role as a husband and as a father is to be the provider. From what you told me, you have learned your job well and are a success.

However, Don, a relationship requires much more than financial success. A relationship needs feelings expressed. It is interesting Don, that you never mentioned how much you love your wife and children.”

“Of course, I love my family!” Don exclaimed. “They know that. I don’t need to keep telling them.”

“Don,” I continued, “quite the contrary. They need to hear that you love them and they need to experience your caring by the things you say and do, and not just by what you give to them.

For example, Don, when was the last time you and Sue spent time talking or cuddling? Sue told me that you were romantic when you were dating but stopped after you were married. Keeping the romance alive is very important to most women. Send her flowers and cards, leave her loving notes, hug her when you come home, tell her you love her daily. Ask Sue how her day was, and listen to her. Don’t try to solve her problems, just be supportive and let her know that her feelings are valid even if they are not logical.

Don, also be attentive to the children. Spend quality time with them, and be playful and loving. Let them know how much you care and appreciate them for who they are. Tell them to be their unique selves. Take the time to tuck them into bed and kiss them good-night.

You see, Don, you can’t buy love. You have generously given them your money but what they want and need even more than that is you. What makes a difference in their lives is the quality of love they feel from you. That takes your time, your attention, and your willingness to express your feelings.”

Don looked perplexed. He didn’t realize that he was making the biggest mistake men make in relationships. He didn’t realize that he wasn’t giving himself. From Don’s left brain (logical) perspective, he was doing everything right. It’s true that he wasn’t doing anything wrong. It was just that Don was missing a big piece of the puzzle.

To help Don really understand what I was expressing to him, I asked him to close his eyes and to imagine that his parents and he and Sue were standing in front of him. Don noticed the similarities in the two relationships, and the same problems. He realized that he had learned from his father how to be a husband, who had learned from his father and down through the generations. Unfortunately, Don had no feeling male models. Even his grandfather was always busy making a living, and rarely spent time with the family.

In the process, Don realized how much he missed feeling his grandfather’s and father’s love when he was growing up, and how much he needed it. Don also noticed that he never saw his father being affectionate and loving to his mother. He had no role model of how to express love to his wife and children.

Don continued to work with me and succeeded in healing his inner child and learning more loving ways to be and to communicate with his family. Sue also did the same. Don and Sue are now in a loving relationship with each other and the children. They were amazed how well the children responded to the expression of caring to each other and to them. The children started to do better in school and there were a lot less fights. In fact, Sue and Don pride themselves as a happy loving family.

Helene Rothschild, MS, MA, MFT, is a Marriage, Family Therapist, intuitive counselor, author, speaker, teacher and workshop facilitator.
To empower people, she developed a unique process, HART: Holistic And Rapid Transformation (New Book: “All You Need Is HART! Create Love, Joy and Abundance- Now! A unique guide to Holistic And Rapid Transformation”.)
Her numerous educational and inspirational materials, lectures, and media appearances (including CNN) have helped millions of men, women, and children internationally to reach their personal and professional goals.
She offers phone sessions, teleconferences, self-help and inspirational books, e-books, tapes, cards, posters, cards, articles, classes, and independent studies.
Helene’s mission is to help people to “love themselves to peace”, which she believes is the key to health, happiness, success, and world peace.
helenerothschild.com helenerothschild.com, mailto:helene@helenerothschild.com helene@helenerothschild.com, 1-888-639-6390.

Finding the perfect dress you have always dreamed about is one of the most fun and important tasks a bride will endeavor. Finding the perfect bridal jewelry for the bride to accessorize with that dress is also fun and essential to completing your look.

So now you have the dress, let’s choose your bridal jewelry. When it comes to selecting your bridal jewelry, keep in mind a few items. The first is the style of wedding you will be hosting. Will you be requiring black ties and evening gowns, sandals, exotic flowers and romantic nuptials on the beach? Or a simple no fuss back yard picnic wedding? What ever style of wedding you are hosting can help you determine what style of bridal jewelry you will wear.

The second item to consider when thinking about your bridal jewelry is the theme or colors you will be including in your ceremony and reception. If you are having, for instance a beach wedding or a beach themed wedding, you may want to check out several different bridal jewelry accessory options. Of course with a beach themed wedding, sea shells and white pearls or mother of pearls are a common and practical bridal jewelry choice for your wedding look. Not only will this style and type of bridal jewelry match your theme and occasion, you will be radiantly satisfied with your bridal jewelry accessory selection. You won’t need to ask your bridesmaids, mom or closest friends if that selection of bridal jewelry matches – it is the theme and occasion! You will feel confident and as a result beautiful!

Another idea to help in your selection of the bridal jewelry you will wear is the season or month you decide to get married in. While glancing at all the seasons, there are some very practical and obvious choices for the selection of your bridal jewelry. Here are some ideas broken down by seasons below.

Winter Bridal Jewelry Selections – The winter months bring on the beauty of white and shimmering snow flakes. There are many options for bridal jewelry that fit the snow flake theme. If snow flakes really are not your idea of the perfect bridal jewelry, try visualizing clear swarovski crystals that sparkle and shine in the light. Swarovski crystal bridal jewelry is becoming more popular with celebrities and brides alike. If swarovski crystals are too much for the bridal look you desire – try simple white or ivory pearls. Nothing says traditional bride better than beautiful pearls. Pearls are a great selection for your bridal jewelry accessories, as there are so many options. From a simple strand of pearls, to a glamed out pearl choker – your options are limitless.

Spring Bridal Jewelry Selections – Spring time is such a beautiful and “new” time of year. The trees begin to grow leaves, the grass grows, tulips come up – you get the idea. Take inspiration from the newness of the spring months when selecting your bridal jewelry. Don’t be afraid to select bright, bold and radiant colors. Traditionally brides wear white, but tradition is not a rule or style you must follow. If you love bright green and you want that to show it in your bridal jewelry accessories – then wear the bright green. This is your day – your way! Your bridal jewelry selection can reflect that style as well.

The flowers you carry down the isle, your bridesmaids’ bouquets or the flowers you choose to decorate with can also be used to help you decide on your bridal jewelry. If roses are right up your alley – then rose flowered jewelry may be the perfect bridal jewelry accessory for you. Don’t stop with roses, consider all of your flower options, daisies, gardenias, calla lilies, just to name a few.

Summer Bridal Jewelry Selections – Summer is a fantastic and the most popular time of year to get married. Use the beauty and warmth of the summer months to help you decide upon your bridal jewelry. Again, the flowers you choose to carry or decorate with can be a great consideration. Summer time also brings out the kid in all of us – vacations at the lake, picnics in the park, fireworks, you get the idea! If summer is that time of year that brings magic, mystery and fun, consider these factors when selecting your bridal jewelry.

Many summer planned weddings are becoming more often fun and casual events – your bridal jewelry can reflect that as well. This would be a great opportunity to select some fun and trendy bridal jewelry to complete your wedding day look.

Summer weddings many times have bright to soft pastel colors. The options for pearls and crystals are growing in colors and shapes. It is easy to find and coordinate your bridal jewelry colors with the pearl, crystal and stone color options available. Glass pearls and swarovski crystals are coming up and out with so many new colors – you can accessorize with any color imaginable.

Fall Bridal Jewelry Selections – The autumn months bring on a wonderfully beautiful array of colors – new to that season in particular. If you are planning a wedding in the fall or autumn months, there are some very beautiful bridal jewelry options.

Nature is always a great place to begin looking for bridal jewelry ideas and the fall season is not one to let you down. Whether you are a “nature bug” or not, you cannot deny the gorgeous beauty of fall. If you’re planning a fall wedding and would like to add some color to you accessories this is the time to do it. The beautiful golds, browns, reds and yellows are just perfect applications for your bridal jewelry.

Whether you choose your bridal jewelry by the theme of your wedding, the formality, the colors or the season, you will wed –your ideas for inspiration are limitless. Keep in mind some of the ideas illustrated in this article and you will be well on your way to beautiful, radiant bridal jewelry.

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