Life & Relationship Blog
9 Nov
I have just came back from a seminar.
The trainer shared about a research done in 1994 by a group of psychologists on 100 pairs of newly wed couples.
Each pair had a private room each and they were told to behave normally. They were each observed for 10 minutes.
The psychologists had to finished a questionaire stating the number of priases and put-downs give to each other.
10 years later, the psychologists followed up with this group of couples.
To their suprise, 94% of the couples were either separated or divorced. The couples who experienced marital breakdown were those who gave more put downs than praises.
This research showed that praises are very important elements for a successful and happy marriage.
I feel all of us want to be praised. We want to be praised for the effort we have put in, no matter how insignificant they are.
We all need praises. So do our spouses.
What you can do right now to improve your relationship:
1. When your husband grumbles about how tired he is after a day of hard work, praise him for the effort he has put in to work hard and provide for the family. And tell him that the family appreciates him alot.
2. When your wife cooks and it may not be that tasty, praise her for the time spent in cooking and in buying of the cooking ingredients.
3. When your husband plans a day to bring the family to somewhere you may dislike, praise him for making time for the family.
4. When your wife sounds disheartened by the pressure faced at work, praise her for the strength that she had to pull her through this far.
5. When your husband expresses his discomfort in the presence of his mother-in-law, praise him for his willingness to share his feelings with you.
There are many more incidents that we can praise our spouses. Look at their strengths and the positive aspects of what they had done.
With praises every day, your marriage life will be elevated to a higher level.
So, start now by praising your spouse for sitting next to you or near you and keeping you accompany.
Jhong Ren runs romance-fire.com My Wedding Blog- an online wedding diary that gives more than just the usual tips and advice on a daily basis. Check out romance-fire.com romance-fire.com now and by all means leave us your comments, share some of your own wedding experiences and give us some suggestions for new resources we can recommend to our community.

9 Nov
You should always try to introduce new and exciting ideas into your sexual relationship. This is true whether are in a committed relationship with someone or not. You don’t want to continue to do the same thing over and over.
The problem arises when you try to implement new sexual ideas, but they fall short of what you had hoped to accomplish. There can be many reasons for this, but the most common ones are listed below.
1. Know your limitations. This is so important. Many times people want to try something new, but they may not be equipped to do it. Some positions can be uncomfortable. Some techniques will not work at first. Some require “special endowments”.
Whatever the case, know what you are capable of doing. There is nothing wrong with trying and being unsuccessful. The real problem comes when you try things that you are not capable of doing.
2. Talk to your partner. There should be an open line of communication between the two of you. Make sure that they are willing to try something new with you. If they object, do not try to push them into doing something that they do not want to do.
Make sure you honor and respect your partner. They should enjoy this new experience as much as you do. Consider their feelings and they will take care of you.
3. Go Slow. When first learning something new take your time. You will probably not get it right the first time. Even as you are trying your “sexual experience”, you will need time to work up to being good at it. Take your time and get it right. Don’t become frustrated too quickly. Take your time and enjoy the experience.
4. Laugh. Don’t be afraid to laugh. It is not that serious. This should be an enjoyable experience between you and your partner. Laughing will ease the uncomfortable feeling that always arises when ever we try anything new.
Remember your objected is to have fun. The orgasm is nice, but in the beginning you should mainly focus on having fun. The orgasm will come later. Don’t forcus on having an orgasm so much and it will likely lead you to an orgasm much quicker.
It is always nice to try new and exciting things in our sexual relationship. This adds a little spice and makes things interesting. Watch out to to make sure that you are not making the above mistakes and you will be able to add freshness and passion to your sex life whenever you get ready.
Remember the best way to make this happen is by finding a woman that is looking for sex already.
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9 Nov
Science of necessity begins its study of “Life” with the egg and sperm, and atom and cell, all of which are part of the visible world, even though a microscope is needed to be able to observe them. But we are told that everything that has been made began as something invisible, and therefore spiritual. So if we are to understand the origin of man we must look far beyond the egg and sperm into the invisible realm of God. There is no scientific instrument made that will allow us to penetrate into the invisibility of spirit, and neither does human consciousness have any ability to access that realm. Paul states very clearly that everything that we can see with our natural vision is passing away, for it has no real sense of permanence. But those things that are invisible they are the eternal realities, for they were in existence before this material world began, 2 Cor 4:18.
Spirit has its own language, which can only be understood by those who are spiritual. For instance the scripture uses the terms, “day and night”. In the natural world “day” would mean a twenty-four hour period, but in Genesis chapter one, it refers to a time of inspiration and revelation. Light throughout the Bible speaks of understanding and illumination. Night for the natural mind is the opposite of day and has a negative connotation.
So it becomes very evident that Genesis chapter one is a spiritual view of the development of the Kingdom of God within us. No-where else can we see the divine nature and character of God revealed so clearly and our relationship to him, all based upon union and oneness. The source and substance of everything in this chapter is Spirit, and nothing else. Elijah discovered on the top of the mountain that “power” is not in physical or material force, but in that which is spiritual, “the still small voice.”
Having established a foundation whereby we can look into the origin, both of man and the universe, we discover we are not looking at that which is visible, but into the invisible or spiritual realm.
There are many concepts in the scriptures that are unintelligible, even to natural mind. One of these is the issue of “male and female.” It is interesting that we find this matter mentioned in the very first chapter of Genesis in connection with the creation of man. The fact that man was created “male and female” (X and Y) in the beginning is very rarely mentioned in Christian literature, as if it is of no consequence, or perhaps because the idea is so confusing to the natural mind of man. However, we must remember that the “male/female” aspect of man in creation is spiritual and not physical.
Today with all the emphasis society has put on our “sexuality,” no one wants to even consider the truth that stands behind our God-given identity. For the most part sexuality is relegated mainly to the flesh realm and so is considered to have little or nothing to do with spiritual things. As we proceed with this study, we will see that male and female have much more to do with spirituality than with any carnal concept of sexuality. But in order to discover the truth, we must discover the divine point of view on this subject.

9 Nov
We all love romance, And sex. And yet, these things can become so complicated and entangled that we end up hating ourselves for wanting them so much. Everybody has felt totally overwhelmed by romantic relationships at some points in their lives, starting with the first high school crush. But to my mind, the feeling of being lost in a world of mismatched traffic signs is even more difficult when you are gay. There is simply no reliable roadmap to follow.
First of all, what are our roles? Straight people know what the rules are, how the role playing is supposed to work out. Just watch all the dating games on TV and you will see how finely tuned males and females are to the code words and body language of their culture. The people on those shows have been chosen precisely because they have internalized all of the most banal and stereotypical behaviors and have raised them to a fine art. Now what about gay men and lesbians? Have we ever really figured out what our codes and body language mean? In the world that we have created, based on “otherness” in a straight culture, much of the allure of a relationship is the ambiguity. I think we avoid any clear explanations because we are afraid that all the magic will simply vanish in the light. We have gotten used to feeling our way in the dark. The gay dating shows I have seen on TV have been failures precisely because of everyone’s reluctance or inability to communicate what the real attractions were.
It’s not that we gay people don’t also have our stereotypes raised to a fine art. No way, in fact, we invented that camp game! We create our types by twisting and reworking the raw material that straight people have left us. “She’s a gigolo,” a female friend says, for instance, describing an ex-girlfriend, “like one of those guys in a movie from the 1960s with a girl in every bar.” She uses a male reference without the slightest hesitation. But is the woman in question really like one of those guys? I don’t think it’s so simple. Gay people may take on the characteristics of the opposite sex in their romantic relationships, but we pick and choose, mix and match according to some complicated plan even we cannot fully explain.
She’s not really a gigolo, because she is still a woman, and that means she has learned to use certain behaviors to get what she wants in life that are different from the behaviors that men use. She has seen life from a woman’s perspective, she has learned how to handle the restrictions and exploit the privileges that are a woman’s lot, no matter what her sexual orientation. She is not a gigolo, and yet it is somehow stimulating, and sexy for other women to see her that way. It’s a deception that makes sense to these other women because subconsciously they are also aware of the feminine side of that person and how that side informs her “gigolo-ness”.
The same can be said for gay men. There are no real “queens” among men, though there may be legions of people with penises who think that they are Paris Hilton or Ivana Trump. They can never understand what a woman’s world looks like when you have been female since the day you were born, and they would never renounce the privileges of masculinity that they have enjoyed all their lives. It is precisely those male privileges that empower them to break the gender rules and play the lah de dah femme fatale game.
So what good are these stereotypes, then? Can they help us find ourselves, the way that Tiffany-and-Brad on the Dating Game can help straight teenagers learn the ropes? The great majority of gay people, I believe, strive for some kind of harmony in their personal lives that manages to see with both male and female vision in a rich and rewarding way. The problem is, we don’t know how to interpret what we are seeing. It is hard enough for people with the monovision of one sex, but for us it is doubly confusing. Who can guide us? Ironically, we need these people at the extremes, we need them to search out the far frontiers of gender bending and to report back what they find. Otherwise, those of us in the middle will have to muddle along forever, blindly mixing our own instincts with the dubious words of wisdom of Tiffany and Brad. Not a pleasant thought.
Dominic Ambrose is a writer and script developer for an independent film company in Paris. Take a look at his writings on dominicambrose.com dominicambrose.com and his new entertainment blog at dominicambrose.com/blog/ dominicambrose.com/blog/
