Relationships with the opposite sex can be extremely complicated, especially after a break-up. Can singles be “just friends” with someone they used to date? Here’s why I say the answer to that question is “no.”

Q. I just broke up with a guy I had been dating for nine months. We got along well on many levels, but realized that we couldn’t be “life partners.” So much of the relationship was good, but the arguing made it bad. While I’m willing to give up the sex and the hope for a future together, I don’t want to give up our friendship. We enjoy many of the same things and I would miss sharing them with him. Can’t we be “just friends” while I search for the guy who will be “Mr. Right?” Allyson

Allyson, Maintaining a platonic relationship with someone you used to date is frequently the source of confusion and frustration. So much of your energy had been invested in this person, which makes severing only some of it very tricky. But if you really want to create a life partner relationship with someone who meets all of your needs, then I suggest it is best NOT to be friends with your “ex.”

Trying to maintain a friendship with someone with whom you had been physically intimate is especially challenging. That’s because sex is like “superglue” – it’s easy to get stuck, but extremely difficult to get unstuck. Couples who had expressed their physical feelings with one another can easily succumb again to the emotional triggers that initially sparked the intimacy.

When a man and a woman, each considering the other as a potential life partner, spend a lot of time together, it’s natural that they would become emotionally attached. After a break-up, a person usually goes through a sort of grieving and mourning process. This is because when you’re dating someone, and doing so with the serious intention of seeing if s/he is going to be your life partner, you have hopes and dreams that it’ll all work out. When reality tells you (and you’re actually willing to listen to reality!) that the two of you are not compatible, and should not continue being together, it can feel like a “death.” But it’s not the death of the person that you have to adjust to, it’s the death of your hopes and dreams. And just like with the death of a person, the challenge before you is to re-orient yourself in the world without this person in your life, and get back into the game to find someone more suitable.

I suggest that you sever yourself from this failed relationship completely. Doing so will free up all of your energies – emotional, physical and intellectual – and allow you to explore a new relationship’s potential. Avoiding a “friendship” with your ex will prevent him (and your residual feelings for him) from distracting you from attaining your goal of attaining as gratifying relationship with the right person.

© Copyright 2005 Janice D. Bennett, Ph.D.

About Janice D. Bennett, Ph.D. Practicing as a psychologist for over 20 years, Janice has treated many singles looking to get married, but who had become depressed and demoralized by the dating process. She now uses her skills and experience to help healthy singles overcome the obstacles preventing them from attaining the relationships and lives they really want. Janice has been quoted in Cosmopolitan Magazine, gives dating advice on JMatch.com JMatch.com and other websites for singles, has a free e-newsletter and gives teleclasses, lectures and workshops. Check out her “Get Your Love Right!” blog, read other dating-related Q’s&A’s and articles, and sign up for a complimentary 40 minute telephone coaching session by visiting her website at DoctorLoveCoach.com DoctorLoveCoach.com

I have been in the dating business for over 20 years. It has not been a cakewalk. In l986 I started a pen pal club which over the years evolved into a worldwide correspondence and introduction service for singles and couples seeking friendship, romance, marriage and broadminded contacts.

In October 2001, I decided to go on the internet with my club to reach a broader market. The mission was the same, to target the singles’ and couples’ market. It wasn’t an easy task. Of course I knew it would take years to build my site into a moderate money making venture. Moving from brick and mortar to the World Wide Web was like starting a new business all over again.

Last year I decided to offer a more traditional dating site for people who weren’t necessarily into the erotic scene. I searched around for a dating affiliate that could host my singles’ site and still maintain my own brand name. I found a server that already had a database of over 100,000 singles’ profiles. All I had to do was market and advertise my site to attract new members.

I was prepared to give this site five years to grow into a successful money making site. Just like I did with my correspondence club. Experts will tell you, it can take up to five years before a business begins to see a profit. In many instances it may take longer. When you make a profit, you’ll be putting that money back into the business for maintenance, advertising and marketing. And I can attest to this. After all I wasn’t in this business to make a killing overnight. I was prepared to provide a professional service and build my membership slowly. I wanted people who visited my site to know that I was going to be there for the long haul. The money will always follow.

Everyday you read about businesses becoming “successful overnight.” However, this is the exception and not the norm. You have to ask yourself “how long did it take the business to succeed; what mistakes were made along the way, and were there any failures before the successes.”

After running my new online dating site for a year, a total of 456 people became members, and 1% of them became paid members. I thought this was good since my correspondence club site had a very slow start. For a couple of years we had roughly 25 visits a day. Some days were even less. Today we have over 125 visitors a day. To date we have had over 64,000 visitors. This did not happen in a year or even two years. This may not seem like much, but when you’re operating on a shoe-string budget, to me this is pretty darn good!

In late February, the affiliate powering my dating site sent out emails to all its members saying that it was removing sites that were inactive and sites that did not point to their servers. Of course, I didn’t think this applied to my site, because in my mind, my site was active. It was bringing in new members. Unfortunately, they felt that 456 members wasn’t active enough. They decided to remove my site and closed my account because in their words “my site was inactive.” I said to myself “inactive, how could this be?” After all people were joining. My lowest month was February 2007 with 8 members. Than in March, membership picked up. By March 21, 2007, 22 people became members, and more were sure to join. I understand that everyone visiting my site will not join, and not everyone who joins will upgrade to become a paid member. To me it takes time to build a large membership.

When I contacted the service to inquire about why my site was removed their response was “we are tightening up and working to offer a leaner, meaner Partner program which functions more efficiently and maintains our high brand quality across the internet.”

After reading that sentence, I finally go it. Nowadays instant gratification seems to be the norm. You see it all around you. New TV series are cancelled before they have a chance to build an audience. And in many cases shows are cancelled before they even air. Everything is rush, rush, rush! You’re constantly bombarded with the catch phase “got to have it now.”

The belief seems to be when a person starts a business, he or she must make the money now. If this doesn’t happen, it times to throw in the towel. We all like to think that when starting a business, we are going to make fast money in no time, but life doesn’t work that way. You must build trust before you get loyal customers. You must be around for awhile before people will spend their hard earn money on your product or service.

While searching the internet, I came across an affiliate program and read some of their affiliate’s testimonials. This particular testimonial struck a cord with me; it was honest and to the point. I am paraphrasing what the person wrote:

“I joined an affiliate almost 4 years ago now, and was informed that it would probably take around 4 years before I started to earn a reasonable income as an affiliate. I now have over 1,500 members registered and With the new site design, this promise is coming true. Affiliate payments have become easy to request, and are paid on time as requested.”

This testimonial sumarizes the point I have been trying to make. If you’re thinking about starting a dating business or any type of business, remember it’s not a “get rich quick venture; it’s a long-term commitment where profits may be a long time coming. As a professor once said in a “How To Start A Small Business” class I took in college “owning a business is 90% perspiration and 10% aspiration.”

You’re probably wondering if I found an affiliate to power and host my dating site. The answer is yes. In fact this service offers great tools and features such as a newsletter suite to contact my members, an online link exchange to build my very own link exchange, an affiliate program so others can advertise on my dating site, site optimising tools which can help me to rank higher in search engines results and so much more.#

Vivienne Neal is the founder of HMCS which manages oneworldsingles.com One World Singles – The coolest place to meet the nicest singles from Australia, Canada, the UK and the USA. If you are seeking marriage, love, dating, companionship, a soul mate, friendship, online romance or just a pen pal, then this site is for you. All colors, ages (18 ) religions, etnicities, and lifestyles are welcomed. It is free to join. Browse through thousands of profiles, upload your own photo and personal details, see who is online, meet your soul mate and begin having fun!

Trust is such a fragile thing in any relationship. Even a small break in the foundation of the bridge of trust can make it tumble to the ground, causing distance between a couple.

Trust can be broken in many ways such as an affair, lying (even about very small matters), secrets and neglect. Broken trust can be healed, but it takes time and effort from both the person who broke the trust in the first place, and the person who feels betrayed.

6 Tips To Rebuilding The Bridge Of Trust

1. Stop The Behavior – If you continue doing what it is that broke the trust in the first place, there is no hope of rebuilding trust.

2. Communicate – You have to let your feelings out and get to the root of the problem. There was a reason the trust was broken. Be honest about it and make the necessary changes.

3. Follow Through With Promises – If you tell your spouse you are going to do something, do it. If you tell your spouse you are going to stop doing something, then stop doing it. Say what you’ll do and do what you say you’ll do.

4. Forgive – Forgiveness is probably the hardest part for the one who feels betrayed by a broken trust. To some, forgiveness means to excuse what the person has done. To really forgive means that you acknowledge that your partner has faults and makes mistakes. By doing so, you allow them to learn what it is you expect and need from them.

5. Don’t Keep Secrets From Your Spouse – Keeping secrets from each other can cause bitterness, resentment and can break trust.

6. Be Patient With Each Other – Just as your relationship didn’t happen overnight, neither will rebuilding it. Taking the time to communicate and learn from each other is very important.

When the Bridge Of Trust has fallen, it can be rebuilt with time, effort, patience and love.

For more information on the importance of communication in your marriage, Visit my blog, wahm-happy.blogspot.com/ Happily Ever After – Yeah Right.

Greek wedding favor almonds are a wonderful way to include a long-lived tradition into your wedding day. Whether you choose a traditional ceremony or something more modern, Greek wedding favor almonds can add a sense of continuity to your special day. Rich in symbolism, Greek wedding favor almonds speak to the long heritage of marriage, which you and your spouse are continuing with your own commitment to one another.

Tradition is undoubtedly an important part of any wedding day, whether you choose to follow it or create ones of your own. Regardless of the style of wedding you choose, Greek wedding favor almonds can be the ideal to thank you guests. Reminiscent of the myriad weddings that have gone before, Greek wedding favor almonds are also supremely modern, with their colored candy shells. Greek wedding favor almonds are also a good way to keep those sugar levels stable while your guests are waiting for dinner to be served!

Also known as Jordan almonds, Greek wedding favor almonds are symbolic of life, contrasting the bitterness of the almond with the sweetness of the candied outer shell. Greek wedding favor almonds also capture so much of married life, and recognize that despite the fact there will be hardships, you and your new spouse will always be surrounded with love.

Greek wedding favor almonds are not confined to traditional Greek weddings – in fact, there are many other Greek traditions and symbols that are relevant to all weddings. Another traditional Greek wedding favor is the rose, the symbol of Aphrodite, the Greek goddess of love. Representing love and fidelity, a silk or porcelain rose is a lovely way to share Greek wedding favors with your guests.

Whatever Greek wedding favors you choose, you can be sure that you will be bringing tradition to your day in a special way. So celebrate the past by including a traditional favor such as Greek wedding favor almonds, and build your future on a foundation that has endured through the ages.

For a website totally devoted to Wedding Favors visit Peter’s Website The Wedding Favors Guide and find out about the-wedding-favors-guide.com/ Unique Wedding Favors as well as the-wedding-favors-guide.com/wedding-favor-ideas.html Wedding Favor Ideas and more, including Cheap Wedding Favors and Wedding Shower Favors.