Think back to when you were 16 or 17. What characteristics did you seek in a boyfriend or girlfriend? If you’re honest, you might remember that your #1 requirement was: “Is she (or he) breathing?” Of course, we all wanted the cheerleader or the captain of the football team–but we’d settle for almost anyone who would show a little interest in us. And as likely as not, we’d imagine a fantastical drama about our relationship, creating an enormous ordeal of ecstasy and agony!

As you reminisce about your early relationships, do you remember if you were self-centered or other-centered in your puppy love. Try putting yourself back in your teenager mind-set. When you dated, were you more focused on YOUR own performance (your clothing, your pleasure, your behavior) or did you consider your partner’s concerns?

Few teenagers are mature enough to be other-centered. In fact, it is the developmental task of adolescents (It’s their JOB!) to view the world from their ego-centric position and to experiment with behaviors and attitudes that they see around them. Seeking a sense of independence, teenagers strongly identify with some and fiercely reject others as it serves them. Their self-perception and personal satisfaction depends upon the reflection and reactive input they get from others–very ego-centric.

As mature adults we’ve successfully emerged from adolescence, advanced to the young-adult stage, and many married and raised families. And, now some of us are single again. Despite an accumulation of additional birthdays and more extensive experience, grown-ups are often just as uncomfortable and nervous about “dating” as their junior counterparts. And, due to a lack of credible models of mature partner-seeking behaviors many grown-ups feel a bit lost. They know what doesn’t work; but their vision about what might work differently is elusive.

The challenge of being a single grown-up seeking a meaningful and satisfying relationship isn’t easy because it seems like navigating uncharted waters. But we’ve got skills, experience (and maturity!) on our side.

One benefit of maturity is practical optimism–grown-ups have learned there are usually multiple methods to achieve a goal. Even if a specific strategy is not immediately obvious, grown-ups know they can research, learn and succeed with some effort. When the goin’ gets tough, they go ‘n get more information.

Another benefit of maturity is an appreciation of reality. Grown-ups have learned that people are multi-dimensional. Our relationships are more than skin-deep!!! We accept and honor the surface AND subtle characteristics of friends, family and lovers.

And, perhaps the greatest benefit of maturity is the preference for balance or moderation. When seeking a life-partner, grown-ups are more likely to seek partners based upon a combination of head-and-heart criteria–excitement AND comfort.

Mature relationships take on a very different style and intention than the younger set’s single-dimension romantic relationships. This doesn’t mean that romance isn’t important–it just isn’t everything.

Members of the older-and-wiser group are looking for compatible characteristics, commonality, and aligned beliefs/philosophy when considering their next partner. If you’re a single grown-up looking for a life partner, you might find benefit in doing a little research to discover how you’ve changed your perceptions about relationships and how you can intentionally move toward finding your own relationship according to your own unique character. For a helpful first step, you’re invited to visit: MatchMadeInHeaven2007.com MatchMadeInHeaven2007.com

When Zsa Zsa Gabor – she of the ‘I have never hated a man enough to give his diamonds back’ fame –was planning her ninth honeymoon, she did have some problems.

‘Darling,’ he would say, ‘how about Hotel La Fonda, at Santa Fe? It is so romantic, historical and utterly charming.’

‘But, darleenk,’ she would reply, ‘I’m sure I was there with husband number one, or number two, or anyway, darleenk, with either one or the other.’

‘What about a trip on Venice Simplon Orient Express, then? It’s unbelievably luxurious.’

‘Everyone does that Express theenk, darleenk.’

‘You mean, you’ve done it, darling.’

‘I told you everyone does it.’

Though only much married couples would truly appreciate this dilemma, it is to their credit that they are getting a handle on it.

Time was when a divorce was a kiss of death to any civilized communication ever after between the two partners. They would refuse to attend the same party, or the same wedding, or the same anything. If by some accident they saw each other walking down the same street, they would either cross to the other side, or spit in each other’s eye.

That was fine when people were just discovering divorce. Now, with couples appearing at court hearings as frequently as at their favourite restaurants, holding grudges is just too much of a chore.

Considering that some marriages last six hours, and some couple of days, it probably gets difficult to distinguish between the various spouses anyway.

To their credit, couples are becoming quite reconciled to their situations. After all, they may have had children from that marriage, or inherited a couple from another marriage, so animosity for the rest of your life is simply not an option.

The last wedding I attended, not only was the ex wife and her children seated prominently in the front row, apparently when it came to the honeymoon itself, it comprised husband and wife, his ex wife, and their four children. After all, they reasoned, the kids would never get another such opportunity to see the Great Pyramid of Giza, and they were just at that age when they’d really appreciate the trip.

Times they certainly are a changing.

Vlady Peters is an Australian Civil Marriage Celebrant authorised to perform marriages in Australia. She also perform general ceremonies such as Baby Naming, Renewal of Vows and Commitment Ceremonies. To learn more about her as a celebrant and an author visit vlady at weddings-celebrant.com weddings-celebrant.com.

Do you want to date more? If you met someone you liked, could you find time for a date? If you were dating someone regularly, could you invite the person into your home? Or is your living environment so cluttered and your schedule so over-committed, you couldn’t find a corner in your world to put them?

Having time for a romance starts before you meet the person. Most people complain that their lives are spinning out of control. But if you want to meet someone, you need to get organized now, de-clutter your life, and create time for yourself so that you have time for love.

Here is what you do to make time for love:

1. Clean up the space where you live.

Do you have room for dates? It doesn’t matter where you live, whether it is a teeny tiny room or a huge house, your environment supports your emotional health and reflects your state of mind. If you live in a disorganized mess, you have no room to create something wonderful, whether it’s a job, a relationship, or a new future. For some people, this assignment is overwhelming. The project of doing it all at once puts them in a freeze-mode. You have to start with one drawer, and then one closet, and then one room at a time. Completing one task will give you energy. Don’t try and be the Energizer Bunny and just keep going and going. Take breaks, admire what you have done, and call a friend and let them celebrate your success with you.

2. Clean up your relationships.

Do you not date as much as you could because other people eat up all your time? People who take up your time talking incessantly about their unsolvable problems are as depleting as a messy living space. You will know when you have listened too long to a negative person because you will walk away feeling tired and depressed. If that happens every time you talk to one particular person, it is time to limit your relationship. Be selective about who you choose to be around and guard against attitudes of cynicism. Draw better boundaries with the people you do have to be near. You clean up your relationships by drawing the line between what is ok with you and what is not. When you learn to say “No,” it will create time for you to say, “Yes,” to what you do want.

3. Clean up your daily schedule.

Is your daily schedule so packed, you can’t fit a date into it? People with too much to do are often found to be “pleasers.” They say yes to people who ask them to be on committees, programs, boards, fund-raising drives, and panels, and they also feel they have to meet all the needs of their friends and families. If you do that, soon there is not a shred of a day that is yours. On top of that, some people are probably mad at you because you didn’t do more. When you are single you need time to visit with people you love and go to dances, socials, and as many functions as possible to meet dates. If you are overbooked and overstressed, you don’t have time for a social life. When you don’t get out to meet people, you start to fall into a pit of hopelessness, become cranky, and appear unattractive.

Do you have time in your schedule for love? Do you have space to allow someone new into your life? If you met someone, where would you put them on your long list of things to do and people to see? Think about these questions and then take some action. You want to stop tolerating and start celebrating what is going on in your life. Make time for dating and get prepared to fall in love.

Visit tonjaweimer.com tonjaweimer.com or singlesdatingtips.com singlesdatingtips.com for more tips, skills, and insight on dating, relationships, singles, and love. Subscribe to our F*ree Savvy Dating Newsletter from master single’s coach, life coach, and syndicated columnist, Tonja Weimer. Copyright 2006, Tonja Weimer. (Please note source if reprinting this article.)

When it comes to your marriage you would think that it is one of the most important decisions of your life. Yet some people do not treat it like that. In fact based on some of the decisions they make you would think the complete opposite.

When your marriage is getting a little bit down and under the weather there are certain things you can do to help save your marriage and bring your marriage back to how it used to be. Fun, happy and enjoying life.

The 8 steps to taking that first step to save your marriage are

1. Acknowledge the reasons for your problems – This means accepting why you are having issues, so often this is not done and the problems will just keep building and building.

2. Be rational, reasonable and calm – When you loose your temper in an argument, you tend to say and do things that you didn’t really mean just to be spiteful.

3. Use space to your advantage – Sometimes having a little space can make things much easier to deal with. Especially if you are both emotional.

4. Agree to Disagree – It is a tough thing to do but sometimes when both parties can’t come to a conclusion, agreeing to disagree is the best option.

5. Find a Middle Ground – Work to find an area where you can both agree and be happy with your decisions.

6. Work as a team – You got married for a reason, to support each other and help each other through happiness and sadness.

7. Take it slowly – Don’t rush right back to where you used to be after a major argument, take things slowly and work back up to where you used to be.

8. Be patient – As with everything patience is the key and will ultimately lead to a better more happy relationship.

By following those 8 steps above you can usually work through most problems in a logical manner. It can not always be done this way because we all know that lots of emotion and anger can come into play sometimes.

If this is the case then it could be worth seeking a marriage counselor who can help save your marriage.

All in all it is never really too late to save your marriage so why not try something a little different out and you might just be able to save that marriage of yours.

It is certainly worth the price.

If you are looking to save-marriage-advice.blogspot.com save your marriage or for save-marriage-advice.blogspot.com marriage advice
then save-marriage-advice.blogspot.com Save Your Marriage will make marriage help easy.

When many people hear the word “seduction,” they immediately think of soft music, chocolate and oysters, bedroom eyes and getting “in the mood.” But seduction is actually more cerebral than sensual. The art of seduction starts with the mind, not necessarily the body. True, men and women are turned on my different stimuli, but you do have to touch something in their psyche in order to stimulate them physically. There is not just one set of instructions on how to seduce someone that works for everyone, but there are a few constants that you can keep in mind.

The Brain Game
A major component of seduction is not what goes on “downstairs”, it is what goes on “upstairs”. Stimulate your partner’s mind and you have stimulated their most powerful erogenous zone. A little conversation (NOT blatantly about sex) can go a long way. Talk about personal things, stay away from politics, religion and other topics that can potentially spark an argument. Make eye contact, smile and keep your body language open to your partner.

Be Visual
Appeal to the senses – all the senses. Visual stimulation can be very seductive. This means dress for seduction, with warm, sexy colors and fabrics (which are also very sensual to the touch). Create an environment that is seductive, with low lighting, sensual, scented candles and soft music. Give your lover sensual things to see, to hear, to taste, to smell and to touch. This will lead to an amazing encounter.

Take Your Time
Seduction can not be rushed. The best way to learn just how to seduce the object of your desire is to take the time to seduce them. Plan ahead so that you know you will have plenty of time. Rushing right to the act might be fun for the occasional “encounter”, but it is not the sensual, seductive art of wooing your partner into an evening or afternoon (or even morning!) of pure bliss.

Be Creative
Seduction begins before you ever make it to the bedroom. Leave sexy notes where your partner will find them. Allude to your plans of seduction in text messages or phone calls. Be creative, have fun. Indulge in a little champagne and strawberries, chocolate covered strawberries, wine and roses or scented love notes. Let your imagination run wild as you stir your lover’s senses.

Don’t “Go for the Gold”
Don’t “go for the gold” immediately. Again, seduction can not be rushed. Even when you are in the moment, take your time to experience every scent, every taste, every touch of your lover. Take in their essence and let them see that you enjoy the closeness and intimacy. Hold, kiss, touch, find your lover’s special spots. Try the wrists, the backs of the knees, the inner thigh and the arch of the foot. Be gentle, explore and don’t rush.

No one really just knows intuitively how to seduce someone. Each individual responds to his or her own stimuli and they have their own opinions of what they find sensual or seductive. The very best way to seduce your partner is to KNOW your partner. Know what your partner likes and dislikes. Know what your partner responds to and what they find sensual. Remember, it is not about you, it is about your partner when you are seducing them. Enjoying the close intimacy of familiarity of your partner is the ultimate seduction.

WomanAttract is an online portal with expert articles regarding womanattract.com successful dating. To learn more about effective dating methods, visit womanattract.com womanattract.com for free access.

Have you been thinking about online dating with a Russian woman? Have you considered a Russian Bride site or even started a relationship with someone special but you’re having doubts about her? If so, you need to read this article about Russian Internet Bride Fraud and Scams.

Over the past several years as more and more people go online to find love (among other things), more and more women from around the world are taking notice. More women from economically challenged countries are learning a new trade but it’s not one to be proud of.

Some Russian women, it’s hard to say how many, are preying on innocent men who are only looking for friendship, love, a soul mate and ultimately marriage. The following is just one of the scams that they’re pulling. I’ll discuss more in other articles, which you can find on my website.

The Girlfriend Scam, here’s how it works:

A man finds the so-called girl of his dreams on a Russian bride site. This also happens on sites promoting women from China, Philippines, Brazil – you get the picture. The gent signs up and does whatever he has to do to get in touch with the woman he’s interested in. In many cases, he pays for correspondence and translation services to communicate with her. Assuming all goes well, and the bride site itself is legit, he starts a relationship her. They start courting through letters and maybe translated phone calls and soon the man grows very fond of her.

After several weeks of beautiful letters back and forth between the two, as they confess that they’re falling in love, the girl suddenly has a financial crisis. Of course the man knew she was financially poor to start with but when he hears what happened to her, he feels compelled to send her money to help her out.

The man has his doubts but what can he do? He doesn’t want to offend her and what’s a few hundred dollars to him? So he goes ahead and sends her some cash. What happens next?

No, she doesn’t disappear on him. She thanks him and in broken English exclaims how he is her hero and that she will love him forever.

Then a few weeks later she picks up the courage to politely and humbly ask for a gift or two. Since she can’t be with the man physically, she says she wants to know how he feels all the time with a gift she can wear, like jewellery.

The relationship continues and she keeps sending the man glowing letters of undying love and speaks of plans to marry him as soon as possible. But first she wants him to come visit and take her on a holiday away from her home for the first time.

Now on one hand this story doesn’t seem to be that bad – it sounds like a real relationship (at least the beginning of most relationships before a couple starts fighting).

The nab is that she is not in love, and she is doing it all to get the man’s money and she’s doing it to more than one man at a time. That’s the scam. She’s making a living off being a gold-digging girlfriend and she doesn’t even have to physically meet the guy.

It’s happening every day and this is just the tip of the iceberg. There are more ordinate and organized scams run by teams of men and women.

If you have any suspicion at all, you should probably trust your gut and find out the truth. If she seems to good to be true and she’s asking for money, chances are it’s a scam.

Future articles will dig a little deeper into the fraud that’s going on, who’s at risk and how they can protect themselves.

Jeff JB Langin is an international private investigator who owns & runs CyberBride Investigators Inc. CBI warns men (and women) of the dangers of internet dating and foreign bride sites. They provide services in The Philippines, Russia, Brazil, China and other hotspots of internet dating & matrimonial fraud. More articles and resources can be found on cyberbrideinvestigators.com cyberbrideinvestigators.com

If two of you decide to take your dating relationship to the next level – marriage, you need to check the local requirement to obtain marriage license. Apart from government permission, you will also need love, financial stability, communication and constructive problem solving skills, fidelity. Do not forget emotional and passion in your marriage which are more important for the success of your marriage.

Marriage License is necessary for various reasons. Marriage license proves that legally both of you can marry and also it prevents you to get into marriage as a sudden emotional outburst. This is by and large valid in most US states.

You should know that marriage license is a matter of public record. Your request needs to be published in a newspaper. It ensures that all information you submitted was true, and if you lied about your marital state when you applied for your marriage license, someone can step forward. A copy of your marriage license will be stored in your county courthouse indefinitely. Marriage license proves that you got legal approval that you are free to marry, have obtained divorce or widowhood papers if necessary, are of legal age. Marriage license can be collected from City Hall or the marriage license bureau.

Marriage license can be used for various purposes… Many private detectives can find out information about you and your history by going to a courthouse and requesting a copy of your license. This may not lead someone directly to you, but it can supply him or her with your married name if they don’t know what it is, and can give them a lead as to where you may be living.

Your marriage license may also be used by future generations if they are trying to put together their family tree. For genealogists, the marriage license is a great way to find lost ancestors, and to find out whom they married and where they lived. This might give them clues that they may have not been able to find otherwise. You may be able to find lists of old marriage licenses online, but in most cases, you will have to go to the courthouse to get one.

Excellent information on datingdirect1.com/russian_dating.php
russian_dating for easy reference

When it comes to planning a wedding for the winter season, perhaps nothing is more important than choosing the perfect winter wedding cake.

The choice of a wedding cake is a crucial one to any wedding, and it is important that the wedding cake you choose be not only a delicious desert but a work of art as well.

After all, other than the wedding dress, few elements of your wedding will be as admired as the wedding cake. It is important that the baker you choose respect the importance of the wedding cake to the success of the wedding ceremony and reception.

==Places To Search For Your Winter Wedding Cakes==

There are many places to start the search for the perfect winter wedding cake, and one of the best places to start is with a baker you already use.

If you already use a specialty baker to make cakes and deserts for special occasions, you may have already found the perfect source for the wedding cake of your dreams.

==Get Recommendations From Family Members And Friends==

If you do not already know such a baker, it may be a good idea to ask for recommendations from family members and friends.

Family members and friends who have planned weddings, for either themselves or others, can often recommend bakeries that can create stunning wedding cakes.

This first hand experience will also be valuable to knowing what to look for, and what to avoid, when shopping for a wedding cake.

==The Wedding Cake Should Fit The Overall Them Of The wedding==

After you have found the perfect baker to create your winter wedding cake, the next step is to design that cake.

It is important that the wedding cake fit with the overall theme and level of elegance of your wedding, and that it be an attractive centerpiece at your reception.

==Choosing The Perfect Wedding Cake==

When it comes to the flavor of your winter wedding cake, there are more choices than ever before. Gone are the days when all wedding cakes were white cakes with white icing.

Today’s wedding cakes run the gamut, from white cake to marble to deep chocolate cakes. In addition, a number of other flavors are available, including many with fruit filling, cream cheese icing and other special touches.

Be sure to ask your cake designer what types of flavors are available when you shop.

Shaunta Pleasant is a professional writer and editor on wedding planning topics. Visit my site to learn more about planning the perfect wedding at

HETEROSEXUAL couples want to just walk past marriage, while homosexual ones would rather give it a go. Despite her bitter-sweet marriage to Tom Cruise, Nicole Kidman was still emotionally elevated when she tied the knot with Keith Urban recently. And everyone’s sweetheart Meg Ryan wept unabashedly on Oprah, confessing that she had an “unhealthy marriage”.

So is getting married a thing of the past or is it that the definition is changing? To make it a success, you have to work on a marriage and keep the spark alive. Marriage isn’t about individualism, it’s about togetherness. Though it’s not easy to give up on your individual identity, conflict arises if there is too much individualism! You have to think in terms of ‘us’, like a couple. And that’s difficult at times. Modern marriages are vulnerable, and they need more nurturing. If you shut yourself, there’s a problem. You have to work on the kind of marriage you desire.

In her book, The Best Kept Secret, Janet Reibstein writes that the challenges of modern marriage are: the tension between individual freedom and commitment, the task of regenerating mutual interest, the need for stability against the push for novelty, and the sheer difficulty of offering appropriate time and energy to another person in one’s own complicated life.

Says London-based Priyanka Kanse, a trend analyst for the future laboratory, “It seems that heterosexual couples don’t believe in marriage anymore. The faith is being revived by gay and lesbian couples, who are having lavish weddings and endorsing the concept of soul mates. Recently, I attended a gay wedding in London, where the gay bride came in a Cinderella coach! In 2026, there’ll be a dramatic change in marriage as an institution. We’ll be living together, rather than be married. As it is, society has relaxed its attitudes towards couples who live together.

With divorce rates escalating, marriages won’t be forever. They’ll be more of a lifestyle thing. In fact, how in the 1990s, there was definitely an anti-marriage trend. That’s when living together was cool and getting married seemed a bit of a turn-off, like getting a pension. Life seems to be coming back a full circle yet again.

In a world of globalisation, marriages will be under intense stress. We’re redefining new social codes and values. A woman has a mind of her own, she believes in her own identity and isn’t willing to give up. Marriage as an institution is seeing an accelerated change. It’s about equal partnership. We know that relationships are hard work.

For instance, 34-year-old Robin Williams, and 30-year-old Norah have been married since the last five years. Once in love, they are now forever fighting and sex is a distant memory. Marriages come under pressure when appreciation and gratitude for your partner disappears. When in conflict, don’t be negative, take the other’s perspective. There should be earnestness in a couple to make a marriage work.

It’s very easy to mentally drift away from each other. And sometimes, the space can never be filled. Romance will fizzle out, but the ordinariness of daily life shouldn’t cripple a marriage. However, no matter what spin you put on it, marriage remains the final frontier in the relationship game. As Shobhaa De writes in her book, The Truth About Marriage, a marriage works if you want it to, and fails for the same reason.

Michael Douglas is a relationship expert and marriage counselor who provides

A bad dating relationship can actually lead to problems with depression. Most people, however, fail to see how problematic relationships can be for their health, even though some can prove fatal.

Depression can be a very serious illnesses and it is best to leave a miserable relationship before the person sinks any lower into the depths of depression. This article will examine depression within a bad relationship as well as how to avoid both.

It is important to ensure that your relationship is a healthy one. Any abuse whether it be verbal, physical or emotional should never be tolerated. Many women and men assume that they can change this behavior with their partner, but what they do not realize is the fact that most likely it will get worse with time. The best way to avoid this situation is to leave before the abuse or problems get any worse.

It is better to suffer the hurt today than stay and have to contend with any children or other financial obligations.

Depression can arise when an individual feels that they are fighting a losing relationship or dating battle. If the only feedback that they get from their partner is negative or abusive, it causes a lowering of self-esteem and worthless feelings about themselves. It is important that anyone in a negative or painful relationship seek the help of a professional or other support group to keep their self-esteem and worth at a normal level. Otherwise it can cause difficulties that are sometimes beyond the individuals control and can lead to more serious problems. Depression is not something that should be taken lightly and if the person progresses to suicidal threats, they should receive help immediately.

Ways to beat the blues and keep problems from continuing is to have a strong support group. This support group can include family, friends, co-workers or any other responsible adult that you can trust. These individuals will not only give you somewhere to turn, but someone to talk to as well. Unfortunately, when people are in miserable dating relationships sometimes they can not see the forest for the trees. What is meant is that they may not truly see the extent of the problem, but family members or friends can help them understand the damage of the relationship. A strong foundation of loved ones is the key to getting out of a miserable relationship before it is too late.

If you are in a miserable dating relationship, but it is because there is a lack of communication, temporary problem or something that can be resolved easily, then seek help. Sometimes couples run into disagreements or other issues that can be sorted out with some type of mediator. It is not always necessary to end the relationship just because you are having a difficult time, but if it is in any way abusive, then leave.

my-dating-advice.com” title=”Dating Dating relationships should be loving and make you feel good about yourself as a person. If you are constantly defending yourself, watching your every step or feeling belittled by your partner, please understand that it is not healthy. There is a big difference between a relationship that is miserable because of small things that are easy to fix, and larger more complex problems. Small problems can be worked through and the couple can move on to a healthy and fulfilling life together. If your problems are more complex and are past the help of anyone, then consider yourself lucky for the life lesson and find someone else.

Do not waste another precious moment on someone that does not deserve your love. You deserve the best in life and there is someone out there waiting for you to love them!

Lee Blackspur is the owner of my-dating-advice.com” title=”My-Dating-Advice.com My-Dating-Advice.com which provides online and offline dating tips, advice and articles for men, women and teens of all ages and experience.