On the whole, men have it easier in the earlier years: socially, sexually and economically. It is their world and they usually enjoy it. Not so for the later years. By the time both genders are in the 40s-50s age range, the roles are almost reversed. Various studies have confirmed that, though our personality is generally stable throughout adulthood, there are distinct differences between women and men as they get older.

Men tend to show some decline in power, aggression and need for achievement while women may actually increase in the need for attainment and assertiveness (especially after the children leave home, or if they are feeling trapped or frustrated with their lot). A combination of the ageing process, successful childbearing and homemaking markedly increases the woman’s confidence. She is the one who gradually looks outward in a bolder manner, happier inside her own skin, while the man becomes more introspective and fearful. He is likely to question his overall achievement, especially if he believes he has not yet reached the right staging post along his personal journey (like being wealthy, or earning the right status he yearned for) which only reinforces feelings of encroaching unworthiness and inadequacy.

However, for most women this is a liberating time without young children to worry about; a time when they can focus on their own needs instead of just the family’s, and so they tend to peak in sexual prowess in their forties and early fifties. At the same time, many men gradually lose their self-esteem and become increasingly conscious of their advancing years and sense of impotence in the face of their partner’s evolution. In fact, a lot of men become impotent at this stage, especially over 50. Feeling more vulnerable as they get older, men soon realise that they will be replaced by someone younger at work, or even at home, who is already snapping at their heels. This awareness is often unsettling and drives many of them to prove they are still ‘young’, still talented and still able to ‘pull’ women by reverting to fashion, outlook and activities which reflect a younger attitude.

Frustration and Resentment

Self analysis and review in their mid-forties (mid-life crisis) inevitably change men’s behaviour and level of confidence; being a time of frustration and resentment in the relationship, particularly if the female partner is more settled and successful. Frustration can also be heightened by a feeling of not having the right kind of partner to enhance the man’s aspirations at this troubling time, especially if the spouse has remained slow in intellect or got worse in looks! However, while some women do lose confidence in their late forties and early fifties, as they assess how to progress from their downgraded domestic state, most women gradually lose their vulnerability during this time. They feel far more prepared to extend their horizons outside the home through self-development and perhaps a new career. They tend to worry about their looks, particularly how attractive they still are, but are likely to see this time as a new opportunity to shine and a window onto a new world.

That is one of the reasons why, according to National Statistics, just over 70 per cent of all divorces in the UK in the last few years have been brought by women, especially older ones, whose own evolution has altered their perception of themselves and their worth. Such women are no longer prepared to put up with the quality of life they might have accepted when they were younger, being in the background and undervalued. As they get older they tend to become less patient and more adversarial in the face of any grievance, betrayal or discomfort.

Unfortunately for men, things get much worse, particularly immediately after retirement. Lacking the status, position and sense of power they had while they were working, many find the sudden loss of worth and increasing female confidence very hard to deal with, and either go into depression or retreat into themselves. It is such a huge blow to their self-esteem and identity, often they decide to exit instead, so that the highest suicide rate in the UK is among men of 65 years old. This has helped to create a social imbalance of almost two women to every man after that age.

ELAINE SIHERA (Ms Cyprah – myspace.com/elaineone myspace.com/elaineone and elainesihera.co.uk elainesihera.co.uk) is an expert author, public speaker, media contributor and columnist. The first Black graduate of the OU and a post-graduate of Cambridge University. Elaine is a CONFIDENCE guru and a consultant for Diversity Management, Personal Empowerment and Relationships. Author of: 10 Easy Steps to Growing Older Disgracefully; 10 Easy Steps to Finding Your Ideal Soulmate!; Money, Sex & Compromise and Managing the Diversity Maze, among others (available on amazon.co.uk amazon.co.uk as well as her personal website). Also the founder of the British Diversity Awards and the Windrush Men and Women of the Year Achievement Awards. She describes herself as, “Fit, Fabulous, Over-fifty and Ready to Fly!”

I wrote an article a little while ago called “Is Learning How To Get Your Ex Back Right For You?” and what I seem to see from the responses to the article is that either this is mostly a guy-type issue or the woman don’t like to talk much about getting an ex back.

It surprised me a little because it doesn’t seem to be a specifically male or female issue. There are several problems with trying to get your ex back and also several different ways to approach it. First, let’s consider the realities.

A lover or mate leaves for a reason. Often they’re gone from the relationship a long time before they walk out the door. How the break happens has a lot to do with whether and how learning to get your ex back even makes sense to attempt. If it happened over time and you didn’t see it coming, some learning about the basics of relationships better come first. We all go to school but schools rarely teach us some of the most important things in life – like how to start and keep a good healthy relationship. So we fumble around and make mistakes and aren’t even sure what was a mistake so we can fix it.

Is it any wonder so many of us have so much trouble keeping healthy long-term relationships alive and well? We expect the impossible, ignore the actual, deny the problems, and then wonder what happened. And this has nothing to do with being smart or dumb, having a great job or working as a clerk, being a high school dropout or a PhD, rich or poor. If you didn’t happen to be really lucky and learn by modeling your own behavior on people who really have discovered how to have great relationships, none of the rest of that matters.

The point is – you get your ex back and in 3 months what’s going to happen? If you haven’t discovered the “whats” and “whys” that caused the break and picked up some new “hows” so the same old tired scenes don’t repeat, then … Well, I’m sure you see what’s likely to happen.

And what if you haven’t really thought this through. You better be really certain that learning how to get your ex back is what you want, because when you do, your ex is probably not going to have changed.

There’s a huge fantasy we fall into sometimes – it goes like this: if only I could get my ex back then everything would be wonderful again and life would be so much better because love makes everything perfect. Well, no it doesn’t. Remember, there was some reason the ex left. Everything wasn’t wonderful. And just how good was life anyway? Some people really want their ex back because they are afraid – afraid they are unlovable, afraid of being out there looking for someone, afraid no one will like them — afraid of being alone. That’s a very very bad reason for learning how to get your ex back.

So what we’re really looking at are several things here. Learning what a healthy relationship is and what the signs of an unhealthy one are. Learning some new ways to behave to make the relationship much better, more stable and long-lasting. Maybe learning how to get your ex back – or maybe learning how to find a new partner with a lot less anxiety, frustration, and doubt than you used to experience. Or, maybe all of these. After all learning the techniques that make dating (and seduction and relationships) easier than you ever imagined can certainly do you a lot of good with your ex also.

You need to learn some new things, make some changes, or you’ll be stuck in the same old misery again just down the road. Change and growth are not as hard as you may think and the rewards can be much greater than you imagine whether you want to learn how to get your ex back or find a new partner or improve your skills in relationships.

Richard has both professional and personal experience with the complexities of relationships. Take the next step in learning how – and if you should even try – to aboutdatingonline.com/get-your-ex-back/ get your ex back.

Colour

Red: love. They can also carry connotations of respect, and a promise of courage for trials to be faced in the future.

Pink: admiration and love in its earliest stages. A very pale pink, particularly in a carnation, can mean sympathy, whereas the darker shades tend to imply gracefulness and the admission that one has ‘fallen in love.’

Yellow: joy. They can also mean a generally happy, excitable person who is well-loved, although some books record this rose as a rose of unsteady affections.

White: innocence. They are also associated with humility, awe of the lover, a respect for the purity of the lover and is also a rose of secrecy and silently recognised affection (they could therefore be used as anonymous deliveries to an office or workplace).

Orange: enthusiasm and lust for life. An energetic or eccentric lover would probably appreciate the vibrant colours, as this is the sort of personality denoted by the shade.

Dark red or burgundy: passion and recognition of intensity and beauty.

Personal Attachments
Some flowers that should not be given to a lover unless there is a personal attachment to the species:

Begonia: ‘Be careful of my affections’
Purple Carnation: Capriciousness
Striped Carnation: a refusal of a lover’s attentions
Yellow Carnation: rejection
Cyclamen: goodbye forever
Geranium: ‘I am making a mistake’
Hydrangea: heartlessness
Larkspur (pink): fickleness
Lotus: an estranged lover
Marigold: Jealousy, grief

Snapdragon: an admission of deceit

Size and Number of Roses

Rosebuds are generally given to younger, or more innocent lovers. They can also be used as the first confession of love, although white rosebuds indicate an affection that the suitor cannot declare openly because the lover is too young or innocent.

A single rose indicates the simple message ‘I love you.’

A bunch of roses represents gratitude or great admiration for the recipient.

Two roses with their stems twisted together suggest engagement; this symbol was sometimes used as a subtle hint before a proposal of marriage.

A thornless rose indicates love at first sight.

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Planning a wedding is all about the details. Here are some thoughts on the centerpiece to help you deal with at least one of the many decisions that will arise.

When you have a wedding and your guests are seated during the reception it is a good idea to have a centerpiece. This will add an elegance and style that your guests will either be excited to talk about or ready to diminish.

Flowers and floating candles in a bowl are a popular idea for centerpieces. They are fairly inexpensive, easy to put together and provide an elegant look if done correctly. The flowers and color of the candles are dependent on your wedding theme and should match them accordingly. While candles with certain scents may seem a good idea, it is important to make sure the scents are not strong. You will have more than a few burning, so you do not want the collective effect to be overpowering like standing in a elevator with someone wearing to much cologne or perfume.

Another solution is to replace the flowers with fruit. Fruit usually will last for the necessary time and is a unique presentation. As with the flower-candle combination, you need to be careful about the scents. Candles and fruit should have a similar scent theme as conflicting scents can become a bit repulsive.

When it comes to centerpieces, you are really only limited by your imagination and bank account. If money is no object, you can have small ice sculptures created for each table. These are typically done in theme with a larger version that is used as an overall centerpiece for the reception. The specific sculpture is dependent entirely on your wedding theme and tastes. It is, after all, your wedding so have fun with it!

As you can see, the centerpiece is one of those wedding details that is not constrained by tradition. This is where you can stamp your theme on the ceremony, so don’t hesitate to do so.

Fernando Bellingham is with Wedding Yeti – a site with free weddingyeti.com/wedding_information wedding information and resources.

Whassup? What does it mean?

I cannot remember how many single mom’s came to us after the divorce and were totally devastated because they didn’t know what was ahead. Lets put ourselves in a courtroom during a divorce hearing. We have basically (2) or (3) potential blooming idiots getting ready to prove their stupidity. You guess who these “stars of the show” are. Well, lets quit the smokescreen and I will tell you.

Sometimes it is (1) attorney, sometimes it is (2) attorneys and sometimes it involves the Judge. In this particular case, here is poor little “Linda” getting a divorce from “Outdoor Bob”. Prior to their marriage, Linda had perfect credit and Outdoor Bob, being a rascal, had ziltch for credit. Linda was told by Mom and Dad, don’t marry that bum. Well, love prevailed and they got married.

Outdoor Bob, needed a truck to go to work. Linda went with Bob to the local Ford dealer and bought a new Ford pickup. Linda had the credit so the loan was in her name. About six months later, Bob started to stop off on Friday at the local saloon to cash his paycheck. Sure enough, there was a dart board there and a few of the guys started tossing darts for beers. Bob was pretty good and they invited him to be on the local dart team.

This meant practice on Tuesday and Thursday night with tournaments on Fridays. Well, Linda got fed up with this malarkey and arguments started. Soon a divorce was the only solution. Linda’s parents were the old fashioned “ I told you so” type of folks. They did not get into the middle of the squabble.

When they went to court, the lawyers agreed that Linda would get the kids and Bob needed the truck to get to work so he could pay Linda. Sounds logical, but dangerous. The Judge NEVER instructed anyone to find out “who was on the loan” but simply awarded the truck to Outdoor Bob. As long as he kept his carpenters job, he could make the payments. Everyone was satisfied.

Linda moved to Florida and got a job as a, school teacher, here in the area. She wanted to buy a house so that the kids could have a home. Lo and behold! She gets a notice that Ford Motor Credit is suing her for the deficiency balance on the Ford truck that they repossessed from Outdoor Bob. The deficiency was over $5,500.00 Even though the Judge instructed Bob to make the payments, he didn’t. The judge never thought to check with Ford Motor Credit to see if they would accept Outdoor Bob as the new guarantor on the loan. They of course wouldn’t have done it anyway. After all, Bob’s credit was terrible.

The end of the story is we were able to get the lawyer for Ford Motor Credit to accept a much lesser amount because he was trying to get a default judgment on his fees. That was illegal here in Florida, so with his hands in the cookie jar, he just wanted to get it over rather than have his name placed in front of the Florida Bar Assn.

That’s the importance of knowing what to do in a divorce situation. This could have been averted IF the Judge had stipulated that Outdoor Bob would get the truck IF he qualified under the credit requirements of the lender.

Divorced folks really do not have any place to go for guidance. Sure a good friend offers a shoulder to cry on, but the tragedy of having personal credit destroyed from a broken marriage is serious. In another article we deal with authorized users of a credit card. This is important after a divorce also.

Regis Sauger – Licensed Florida Mortgage Broker, Author of “What everyone should know about credit”National Seminar Speaker.

Regis Sauger is a licensed Mortgage Broker in Florida, an author, lecturer on credit awareness. He has conducted seminars for underwriters, attorneys, mortgage lenders, realtors and the general public.

Perhaps you’ve been dreaming of your wedding day since you were a little girl, the princess gown, your handsome groom, a beautiful spread and the entire town there. Or perhaps it’s something you never even contemplated…who me? Getting married? Oh my gosh, this is really happening! Where do we begin?

Although it’s very easy to wish for the perfect dream wedding, sometimes, if your salary is somewhere in the thousands of dollars, not the millions of dollars, you have to prepare a budget. But I’m here to tell you, having that dream like wedding isn’t as unrealistic as you think, as long as you’re informed and smart about it.

The first step in planning a wedding is to determine your wedding budget. It is important for you to know what you can realistically spend. Wedding costs can easily add up. If not monitored properly, you may find that you are spending much more than you had anticipated. By tracking your expenditures, you can cut back on things less important to you and allocate money to the more important areas. I recommend a good wedding planner/organizer such as Beverly Clark’s, “Planning a Wedding to Remember”. This is an amazing tool for planning your wedding budget and even provides an interactive budget planning tool available online.

One way of trimming off the expenses is to consider printing your own invitations. Often people don’t anticipate how expensive wedding invitations can be. A homemade option is cheaper and can still look wonderful. Purchasing fine paper and envelopes can save you, and they’re just waiting to be customized with some professional techniques available with quality software programs. If computers give you jitters, you’re sure to find someone artsy willing to help out for such a special occasion.

Oftentimes, designer gowns, wedding favors, gifts and accessories can be found on line at a fraction of the prices in boutiques. Just be wary when shopping. Ask questions, make sure the gown is in new shape and that the size is correct. Correspond with the seller and make sure the dress hasn’t been damaged. As a form of etiquette, reputation on these sites means everything, so if you are not completely satisfied with your purchase or the seller was misleading, you can reiterate this by providing feedback. Check your newspapers, local re-sale stores, ask at bridal boutiques for dresses that are no longer being made, discontinued, or clearance dresses. You may find a gem!

Although you may have envisioned thousands of guests attending your special day, you may have to consider trimming down your guest list. As a result, you will be spending much less on food, drinks and the venue. Start by making a list of family members from both sides of the family, including children, then friends and acquaintances. If the bride and groom are paying the full expense of the wedding, they should have control over the invites, however if they are accepting money from the parents they may have to give them some say in the matter.

A suggestion could be to invite certain people to the ceremony and dinner only (especially older relatives as they may not want to attend the reception for various reasons) and then invite more casual friends to the reception portion of the day. Provide a cash bar, snacks in the mid-evening, and all the festivities one can handle. Keep in mind too that this can be catered by family members consisting of cheese, veggies, cold meats, salads, pickles, buns and dessert trays.

Remember too, that this day is for you and you want to share it with all of the special people in your life. Time passes quickly and you want to be able to enjoy all of your guest’s company, so keeping the numbers realistic and within your budget will make your special day more memorable for everyone.

Essential Wedding Favors is a company founded by Paul Darch and Tracey Spencer in 2006. Wanting to provide a bride and groom a source to find as much information about planning their wedding, inspired them to create a website dedicated to just that.

Do you have to go to court for a divorce? The answer to this question can be different for everyone. There are different things that you may have to do for your divorce. You will want to make sure that you are doing all that you can to make this divorce happen for you and get you where you need to be with your life. Think of the things that you can do to make this struggle easier on you.

There are things that you have to do to get what you need from the divorce. Sometimes it is a mutual thing and many times people will settle on their own. However when things get messy it is important to have a person mediate the divorce so that it goes smoother for everyone. This is always the safe way to go so that the divorce goes just as easy as it can for everyone and that each person gets a fair deal.

If your divorce is uncontested and a marital settlement agreement is file, then most of the time the legal documents can be filed with the court and the judgment can be mailed to you. However sometimes the court may request a hearting and this can be informal or formal. At an informal hearing the judge may ask you questions about the certain facts that are presented in each of the papers. At a formal hearing, the divorce case must be presented right from the start so that all the facts are out in the open for the judge to see.

There are many disputes in the division of properly, child custody; spousal support and many other things that will need the courts help to divide. This is the easier way to go about it and it will also let each person get what is fair to their settlement and to what they both deserve for the divorce hearing. It is always a better idea for each person to have a layer present so that they are able to help with the divorce and get things settled the way that they should be.

It is always good to listen to the judge and to not make him or her mad. You want to be respectful so that you are able to get all that is due to you and that you are pleased with the divorce hearing. You do not want to disrupt the divorce court hearing and make the judge mad in any way. This will help things go better for you and get you the property that is fair for you to have.

There are many couples today that cannot make their marriage work and they jump to the conclusion that they must get a divorce.so there are some advice for them,if you want more about it,please visit my website: divorce-thefamily.cn divorce-thefamily.cn

Think of your online dating profile as a billboard announcing yourself to the entire world. This is your one chance to make an impression and to make yourself stand out from the millions of others out there. But most often, people put too little thought and not enough honesty into creating an online profile and then wonder why no one responds.

You can write your profile dressed in your old sweat pants or in an evening gown, which is one of the things that makes the world of online dating so wonderful. But regardless of what you’re wearing at the time, it’s only your profile and its heading that people will see first, and then decide on whether or not to contact you. Writing a profile that will get the type of responses you’re looking for does take a bit of effort but it isn’t at all difficult.

Here are four simple tips to keep in mind when writing your profile to ensure that your profile doesn’t get passed by in the vast world of online dating.

1 – Be Specific
When writing your online dating profile it’s helpful to be as honest and as specific as possible in order to best convey your expectations. Instead of writing something obvious such as “I’m trying to find someone to go on dates with” try outlining what type of date you’re looking for. If your ideal evening is curling up at home watching reruns on television and eating popcorn rather than going to the opera, be sure to say so.

2 – Be Yourself
A unique online dating profile that will leave people intrigued is one that offers a true glimpse into that person’s personal world. This doesn’t mean using generic phrases such as “I’m smart, good looking and fun to be with.” Those are trite, boring statements that should be retired along with the line “What’s your sign?”

Think of something interesting, funny, or just plain silly that may have happened to you and then write about that in your profile. Instead of listing that you’re an excellent cook; tell them about the time you prepared a scrumptious Thanksgiving meal for your local homeless shelter. And instead of writing that you’re an animal lover, be honest and be yourself by letting them know you love dogs but cats you can do without.

3 – Be Honest
If you’re going to be 40 this summer, don’t use your high school yearbook photo in your online dating profile. This will tell the person that you’re insecure about how you look now or how you may have aged. And this will also let them know that you’re not only insecure but dishonest as well, two traits that aren’t going to win you any dating trophies.

If you need a phone book to see over the steering wheel there’s really no point in listing “basketball star” as one of your past careers in your profile. When exchanging pictures online, send the most recent photo that you have that shows how you actually look today. After all, wouldn’t you want the same honesty in return?

4 – Be Creative
With the millions of singles looking for love online today it’s no wonder people often don’t know where or how to find the person that’s really right for them. Many make the common mistake of writing a boring, nondescript headline for their online dating profile, making it difficult to weed through the thousands of people to find the right one for you.

We’ve all seen the headlines “SWF ISO SM” or “Single male seeking female”. How interesting and informative! Instead of stating the obvious, and of course, the boring, try incorporating a little humor into your profile or ad. This will not only lighten the mood but also let people know you have a great sense of humor, which happens to be one of the most sought after personality traits in a mate.

Remember, an interesting and catchy profile is the absolute best way to make a great first impression in the world of online dating. Be sure you’re honest about who you are and equally as honest about what you’re interested in for the best chance of success.

Valorie Jay is the co-author of the popular new eBook, “The Guide To Online Dating.”
Discover how to dramatically improve your results in online dating. You can
get a complimentary copy at: OnlineDating.InfoBreakthru.com OnlineDating.InfoBreakthru.com

The title was a lie, but whoever believes that a number of titles mentioned in article in a dating website can in fact mend a broken heart has not had her heart torn in several parts enough to understand that not even surgery can fix that. However, as wounds are theoretically able to close up by themselves, and as the platelets are bound to crowd skin openings, then so does a broken heart heal over time, and it’s great to have help while waiting for that time to arrive.

Lots of people claim that chocolate has a chemical substance that raises the level of happiness in a person. Some even volunteer the name of the substance. Whatever. As long as it’s chocolate, it’s good for your emotional health. Perhaps it’s no coincidence that the variety of chocolate matches the transition of a healing heart: darkness, bitterness, peace – that corresponds to white chocolate, if you must know. In the darkness of your room with only the glare of the TV screen to guide you, any color of chocolate will taste just fine.

Be sure to get enough blankets and to dress in your rattiest pajamas. Never mind the Kleenex: with clothes as ratty as yours, facial tissue will look too divine to blow on. Besides, with a nose as runny as yours, nothing but 100% cotton will do.

When you’ve got junk food and your DVD player all set, you’re ready to watch:

Bridget Jones’s Diary. This is the ultimate breakup movie. Chubby girl, as chubby as most of us feel after being dumped, suffers through major f*ckups she has brought upon herself. She says and does the wrong things and manages to hook up with her playboy boss. The dialogues in the movie are so honest and hilarious you can almost always point at a specific moment in your life when, you swear, the same thing happened to you. The opening number by a tear-stricken, drunk-as-hell Bridget singing “All by Myself” is particularly interesting and familiar. You’ll see Bridget stumble and pick up herself all over the place.

The best thing about this flick is its honesty. You can never ever say, even if she does fish out two gorgeous men in the entertainment business, that it only happens in the movies. Bridget is such the average type of girl that everybody can relate to. And with a Mark Darcy waiting for you somewhere out there, who wants your ex-boyfriend?

True to its chic-flick promise, Bridget Jones’s Diary leaves you with a feeling that despite everything, somebody can and will still love you, ratty pajamas and all.

Mean Girls. It’s always fun to be a girl again, and what better way to look back at girlhood than to revisit high school? Mean Girls is the good old teenybopper take on the life of angst-ridden, depressive young adults who only care about clothes, boys, and boys. This film is a good way to spend time looking down on their shallowness even when, deep inside, you know you were one of them.

Mean Girls is about the new girl Cady, who tries to fit in high school – the first time she ever attends an actual school as she has been home schooled her whole life. The most elite group of girls take her in, but the problem is she likes the ex-boyfriend of the ‘Queen Bee,’ and coming on to him would apparently defy the rules of feminism – big time.

She gets rejected anyway. And she tries all sorts of pranks and plans to inflict some sort of pain upon Regina (the Queen Bee) while keeping her ‘cool’ status. This she does to the point of losing her real friends.

Mean Girls is a critical peek into high school. It is fun, entertaining, and peppered with handsome football jocks. Everything turns out right in the end, of course, a must for every movie you watch after a breakup. It says that you should be accepted for what you are and not for the people you hang out with or the length of your skirt. But aside from that, the flick’s got a good and well-written story, courtesy of Tina Fey from Saturday Night Live.

50 First Dates. Now once you’ve accepted that what has happened to you happens to practically everyone, and once you’re sure that you won’t be throwing stones at the TV anymore upon seeing couples make out in movies, 50 First Dates is the movie of choice to, yes, reminisce the good times. Cry all you want as playboy Henry falls in love with Lucy, who has memory that lasts only a day long.

Henry decides to make Lucy fall in love with him everyday. The idea alone makes your heart melt, and at some point you might go back to this article and throw stones at it instead for making you miss your ex more. Cry this movie may make you, but crying is good for the health too. It doesn’t end a fairy tale romance, but it does in a more plausible manner that can possibly be more romantic. And it leaves you with a positive attitude towards love so that you won’t have to drown in your bitterness for the rest of your life.

Wallowing in blankets, chocolates, and ice cream in front of the TV is not cliché. It’s just a girl’s way of recovering and recharging in order to get back into action after some time. These movies will help you cry, laugh, get mad, and finally get over the past – that, along with a good set of friends and junk food always by your side. After all three you might want to see The 40-year-old Virgin, if only just to laugh and to be thankful that you’re not this poor, poor guy.

Brian McDonald writes for drdating.com DrDating.com a site filled with dating advice and tips about dating, love and relationships. DrDating.com has a huge library of articles about drdating.com internet dating.

Dating after a divorce is unfortunately becoming an increasingly common problem that many people are having to deal with. This is a new and unique situation for many people and one that their life up to present has been inadequate in preparing them for.

Whilst in the first flush of youth – or even into your twenties (and thirties for an increasing number of people), dating is relatively straightforward. Most of us have little in the way of significant baggage to hinder our attempts at sweeping our idol off his / her feet. Contrast this to a recent client of mine who spent 2 WEEKS organising child-care and ’senior-care’ to go out on a single Date. Coaching her, I discovered that the main reason why she was struggling in love was the TREMENDOUS pressure she was putting on herself (and her date) to have a wonderful time, laugh, fall in love, and be home before 11pm. – No wonder she struggled.

Other pressures include when to tell your date that you’ve previously been married. When to tell about children. My advice is nearly always on the 2nd date. Is this shocking? I hope not. From experience talking to many divorcees – telling on the first date raises just too many problems – ‘why are we talking about his Ex?’, ‘Does she still hold a candle for his Ex?’ and so on.

Many people think that the fact that they’ve been married might put off their new potential lover. They are of course spot on the money. However, what do they think will happen when they DO finally get round to telling them? They leave (of course), either because they don’t want to date a divorcee, or (which is important) because they feel lied to.

Listen – If your date does not want to go out with a divorcee – better that fact surfaces sooner rather than later, for both your sakes.

Be brave. Second Date’s the charm.

Dating Coach is the pen-name of Sydney Reeve. She works as a dating coach in the ‘real world’. She gives free advice at the-datingcoach.blogspot.com/ the-datingcoach.blogspot.com/