Honesty is your next step. What about the main things regarding yourself which would be non-negotiable – the bits that are an intrinsic part of you? Make a clear list of what they are and do not compromise them. The person for you will be the person who accepts fully these key characteristics. It is essential to know yourself in order to know what you want to match it. The minute someone new starts to tell you how you should dress, for example, it is a short step from dictating your life in other ways, making you over into their ideal, not accepting you as you are. That is dangerous to any kind of equal partnership.

I am an extrovert, a non-smoker and non-drinker, who loves music, loves to dance, loves bright colours, with a vibrant, confident personality. That might unnerve some less-confident men. Shy, retiring types (or ones too similar to me) would certainly not appreciate my distinct aura. I have to ensure that whomever I find does not feel intimidated, or suppress my natural personality either, otherwise the match will merely jar and become worse as it progresses. Irritations do not improve with relationships. They get worse because of the closeness and familiarity.

You have to be true to yourself at all times, otherwise, you will always be living a lie and that will not get you much happiness or respect. In fact, it will give you nothing but stress. For example, if you have a high sex drive and like a lot of sex, say at least once a day, it is no good getting hitched to someone who doesn’t really care for it and only wants it once a fortnight! That’s fine for a temporary arrangement but not for anything permanent, and would be a disaster in the making. Or if you want someone who is a modern man to help in the house and then team up with Mr Dinosaur who lives back in the dark age thinking of housework being ‘a woman’s job’, that would also be nightmare time!

Avoid Pretence

You can compromise on other personality dimensions which are secondary, but not on your primary ones which make up your identity and dictate your values. Lots of clues to people’s approach to life are picked up at this early stage, even at the heady heights of love. Do not ignore those signals. They are usually quite clear. Correcting them after marriage doesn’t work. The best approach is: If in doubt, stay out!

Separate fantasy from reality. Many people live a Walter Mitty existence of pretence, especially on the Internet, where they can remain anonymous and impress others with non-existent claims until they have to provide proof. Unhappy with the true picture of ourselves, they invent one that they wish it to be, one which is often at odds with the actual persona. But, having little foundation in truth, this image always comes unstuck under greater scrutiny by potential partners.

Sometimes, we even tell a made-up story so often we tend to believe it ourselves – and that’s the danger. People soon notice the gap between our truth and the reality they see and will take great delight in watching us fall into it! For example, we can wish to be a millionaire by 35 years old, but if we are dossing around and doing nothing about the dream when we are 30, we will remain well short of the goal. A case of merely spouting words and ideas to impress without any supporting plan. Thoughts, intentions and actions always have to be in alignment if we are going to achieve our goals and find that elusive mate. Any discrepancy, and we’ll be sunk.

ELAINE SIHERA (Ms Cyprah – myspace.com/elaineone myspace.com/elaineone and elainesihera.co.uk elainesihera.co.uk) is an expert author, public speaker, media contributor and columnist. The first Black graduate of the OU and a post-graduate of Cambridge University. Elaine is a CONFIDENCE guru and a consultant for Diversity Management, Personal Empowerment and Relationships. Author of: 10 Easy Steps to Growing Older Disgracefully; 10 Easy Steps to Finding Your Ideal Soulmate!; Money, Sex & Compromise and Managing the Diversity Maze, among others (available on amazon.co.uk amazon.co.uk as well as her personal website). Also the founder of the British Diversity Awards and the Windrush Men and Women of the Year Achievement Awards. She describes herself as, “Fit, Fabulous, Over-fifty and Ready to Fly!”

If you have met the person or the couple several times you must be familiar with how they express themselves. Therefore, one of the best anniversary gift ideas would be to portray that pose through a life-size pencil sketch and frame it in bamboo or white plywood

Anniversary gift ideas should have sentimental values. An enlarged photograph or a life-size poster could be made of the pet, their first car, or any favourite item the couple may share.

There are also “traditional” anniversary gifts. Each anniversary year has a specific theme. For example, the traditional gift for the first anniversary is paper, the second year is cotton, and the third is leather and so on. Any good address book will list the traditional anniversary gift ideas in the back of the book.

You may have several anniversary gift ideas but try this one of these: Fill a glass sphere with fluid such as water and seal it. Now get it to work on electronic principle. Record some tunes that the couple hum (their voices). Then make a toy putting the two together and place the sphere on sand. Whenever the position of the fluid in the sphere will change a humming tune will be heard. The couple will surely enjoy your creative idea and such a personalized gift. You could also make ring tones from their humming tunes and download them in the mobile phones of the couple. Indeed both ideas are innovative and personal.

In closing, anniversary gifts should be a gift that comes from the heart. Whether it is homemade or store bought. The gift should reflect the personality of the couple as much as possible.

For more information, visit: AnniversaryGiftsInfoCenter.com AnniversaryGiftsInfoCenter.com

We’ve all been there – invited to back-to-back weddings and at a loss for what to give as a gift. Money is always appreciated but not very personal and how many toaster ovens can you give in the course of a year? But there are ways to find cool wedding gifts that will delight the couple to which you are giving it and break the monotony of gift giving.

The Internet has single-handedly changed the way we shop. No longer are we confined to our local stores where stock could be limited. The World Wide Web has made it possible to shop anywhere at any time; now the commerce of the world is open to us from which to choose gifts that are creative, unique, and reflective of the recipients. Cool wedding gifts can be found all over the Internet; in fact, there are websites devoted to just wedding gifts that will link you to a variety of purchasing possibilities.

Some of the cool wedding gifts that you might consider include a personalized wedding album made especially for the couple. There are services online that will engrave the couple’s wedding date – as well as any other pertinent information you wish to include – onto the front or inside of a photo album. The couple can use it to hold any special photographs not captured by their photographer; often guests at the wedding will take their own pictures and make copies for the couple.

Other cool wedding gifts for those couples who seem to have everything are sentimental and commemorative in nature. You could consider naming a star after the couple! There are websites that will guide you through the process of officially naming a star in the galaxy after the wedding couple. You can even include their wedding date. Records will forever show this star named for them. Or you could purchase a rose bush that marks the couple’s wedding day; the couple can plant it outside their home and as big as it grows it will always be a reminder of their special day.

Cool wedding gifts can also capture the unique hobbies of the bride and groom – sports jerseys for the sports lovers, season theatre tickets for show goers, a year’s worth of restaurant gift certificates for those who love to dine out, or gift cards to a spa for those who love to get pampered.

Gone are the days of only giving crystal candlestick holders and pictures frames as wedding gifts. Today, the world is open for you find cool wedding gifts that will capture the spirit of the bride and groom and make a wedding gift truly something special.

For easy to understand, in depth information about cool wedding gifts visit our ezGuide 2 weddinggift.ezguide2.com Wedding Gifts.

Let’s face it. The fun and excitement of a Las Vegas wedding is well known. Even people who are not actually planning on going to Las Vegas to get married want that fun and excitement so much that they plan a wedding based on Vegas themed wedding ideas!

This can be a really great way to add a memorable element to your wedding day, especially for fun-loving couples who like to stir things up a little.

Themed weddings are quite popular and the kinds of themes are countless. There are Wild West weddings, medieval weddings, Victorian weddings and a zillion others as varied as the people creating them. Vegas themed wedding ideas are guaranteed to be a real hit with all your friends and family and you will have a blast too.

One of the first things you will want to consider for this kind of wedding is the clothing. Will you dress up like Elvis and Vegas showgirls or will you wear your regular wedding attire? What will your attendants wear? Anything goes here because you are the boss of what will happen at your wedding.

Will you create the look of Vegas and incorporate the Vegas themed wedding ideas into your decorations? Gambling and glitzy shows could be your design or perhaps you would prefer to decorate with backdrops that transport you and your guests to the Vegas strip. A backdrop and some props can also transport you to the rocky canyons and desert locale.

At your reception you may want to have your catering service staff dressed as black jack dealers and cigarette girls or as celebrity impersonators just for more conversation making. Such Vegas themed wedding ideas make all the difference.

Consider the food you will serve at your Vegas themed reception. Perhaps your hors d’oeuvres could include something evocative of Las Vegas. Speak to your caterer for some ideas on how to get the Vegas idea across in the food. They may have even done this kind of event before and may be able to provide you with some really fun ideas.

You may want to consider having something like the famous “Welcome to Las Vegas” sign printed on your napkins. Maybe you can toss gambling chips and playing cards around on the tables to keep the theme going. Floral arrangements and centerpieces could include cacti or mini palm trees and red rock.

If you are looking for real fun at your reception you will find it with your Vegas themed wedding ideas. Everyone loves Vegas!

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