There are a number of things you will commonly hear your partners say on a date, and you don’t want to spend too much time analyzing it. You should go over it in your mind once, and if you don’t like what you’re hearing, you should stop dating this person. The statements that are mentioned in this article should not be seen as sarcasm or an exaggeration. It should be taken at face value.

You may sometimes hear your partners say that they are “not a good girlfriend or boyfriend.” When this statement is made, this generally means that your partner is trying to say that they are not ready for a relationship that is serious. If the two of you are already together, this may also be a sign that they are trying to get you to end the relationship. If you are a woman and a man tells you that he “hasn’t treated women right in the past,” this is a sign that you should run in the other direction. First, this person has a large ego. Second, by making this comment, they are demonstrating bad manners. In any event, why would you want to be with someone who makes a statement like that?

Another comment you may hear you date say is that “I’am sure I never want to have children.” In most cases, they will be telling the truth. No matter how much you may like this person, if you have it set in your heart that you would one day like to have children, this is a sign that the two of you have completely different value systems. It is best not to continue dating them further. Trying to change them will generally not work, and you may find yourself missing out on potential dates with people who are interested in having children. Another common statement made on dates is that “I’m not sure what I want to do with my life.”

While this statement shows that your partner is honest, and it also shows that they lack ambition, and if they don’t know what they want for themselves, how can they know what they want from their date? A person that makes this statement may not be a good partner for someone who is ambitious and knows exactly what they want out of life.

Ron Zvagelsky has a degree in Business Administration from the University of Southern California. He graduated Magna Cum Laude in May 2006. He is currently the Chief Executive Officer of PlanJam — a new interactive planning website for planjam.com/weblog dating advice.

There is a rumor and it goes like this:

Men are afraid of getting involved in a serious relationship.

They are the “vagabonds.” The exasperating, peripatetic meat-eaters that won’t put down their clubs and stay for dinner.

Whatever will the cave women do?

Ladies. There is wisdom in the proverb that says: “Walk two moons in another man’s shoes and….” well, you know how it goes. Just take a look at the “oh-so-terrifying” serious relationship phenomenon from a man’s point of view:

Serious Relationship Phobia #1: The Breadwinner
In our society, until recent years, the male has been the provider of the typical American family. He won the bread and he brought home the goods. When the opportunity for marriage came along, it wasn’t always an entirely attractive opportunity for the male because he had tasted the working world and like most rational human beings didn’t want to become a slave to it. It was a leap of faith to marry because it seemed he had a lot of freedom to lose. For a woman however, marriage was an opportunity to gain freedom. Freedom from the burden of providing for herself and the opportunity to try her hand at something she had never done before—-have children. It’s no wonder that women want marriage and men think twice.

Serious Relationship Phobia #2: The Breadwinner Catch-22
Today, women value work, success and education, sometimes to the extent that they no longer seek the opportunities of family life. When a woman works for herself and can still have children (without the “burden” of marriage), this leaves a man without a role in the typical American family. What is he supposed to do? Sure, he can provide more good old fashioned dinero for the family but his role has become cheapened—almost unnecessary. The woman takes a physical role (breadwinner) and a spiritual role (mother) and leaves very little for the man. What is his physical role? What is his spiritual role? It’s no wonder a man shirks from his “responsibilities.” What are his responsibilities?

Serious Relationship Phobia #3: Men Love Playtime 1

Men seem to value play and want a playful partner. However, most men are well aware that marriage isn’t always about play. In fact, most of the time it’s not about play. Women who value friendship and companionship think, “Wow! Marriage is a lifetime or friendliness and companionship but men perhaps begin to wonder if commitment and children will force them to prioritize their values as they would prefer not to. It’s no wonder the male counterpart shies away from the serious relationship that is presented to him.

Serious Relationship Phobia #4: Fear of Failure
Underneath the fear of investing in a serious relationship is the fear of failure, and nothing offers as much potential for failure as marriage. Manon Chevalier describes why men might run from a serious relationship: “Love generates angst. It’s cruel. It’s dangerous. And its corollary, commitment, can be even more of a minefield. No wonder that when love rears its sometimes ugly head, many men hesitate – or flee in terror. Conditioned since childhood to pursue success at all costs, men learn to assess the risks and rewards of every undertaking. Eyes on the prize. The greater the fear of failure, the greater the perception of risk. It’s calculated. It’s a guy thing.”2

Serious Relationship Phobia #5: Lack of Options
Believe it or not, a woman living in the U.S. Today will have far more options than the male counterpart who shares her same economic status. She can decide she wants children, that she wants to work, that she wants to go back to school, that she wants to change her career, that she wants it all, etc. Women simply have more options than men biologically, and today-socially. Men in fact are still (even in a world where women can work) expected to step up and be the primary breadwinner and yet not respected nearly as much as they should be for the role they are expected to play. Still wondering why a man might shy away from a serious relationship?

It’s natural that a man would be hesitant to invest in a serious relationship but if it’s a serious relationship that a woman wants, she should stop and try to think like a man. She should logically weight the benefits and risks or how marriage would be with herself. She should be clear on what she really expects from her partner and then make it clear what she can offer him in return. A serious relationship, when done with respect, and very careful consideration can actually be quite pleasant for both sexes.

1 www.cyberparent.com/gender/needs.htm

2 www.enroutemag.com/e/archives/september03/archives05.html

Marci Crane is a copywriter for main10.com Main10 in Orem, Utah. Want to develop a heavenlymatched.com/serious_relationships/serious_relationship.html serious relationship Learn more about heavenlymatched.com Heavenly Matched.com

What about ‘is there only ‘one’ for me?’ Well, that is a romantic idea, but reality is…look, there are millions of potential partners around the world.

Any of the choices you may could lead to a completely different outcome, lifestyle variation, different kids, etc.

We tend to only ’see’ what we have done and the road that we have taken. I want to take a larger scope of things here (which I like doing because it really helps explain things which most people cannot see or understand), but first..

People are also tying too much dependent emotion upon the idea of ‘the one for me’. Oh, ’she’s the one for me’ or ‘he’s the one for me’.

How do you know for sure? Have you had many experiences with others and this one seems to ‘fit better’?

What about people who have only been out with a few options; maybe their ‘one for them’ just fit their perception of not having to search the world to find ‘that one’ or because their other expectations weren’t macro dynamically based (ie. the high school sweethearts who get married)…maybe they WERE meant for each other because they didn’t open their mind to other possibilities.

Also consider my Chapter on ‘When stars collide’ in my ‘Mens Guide to Women’. It may seem like fireworks at first because of the high energy and high level of passionate synergy, but after the honeymoon may come the crash (if you get a super ‘go-getter’); if not for her, then for you..just give it some time. Marriage should be natural and rewarding experience instead of a battle.

You may find a lot of your freedoms being taken away. The one who is closer to ‘the one for me’ could be any of a million women, but ultimately I’ll just pick without putting too much objectification on who she is because living with a drama queen is going to completely prevent or distract my pure ability to produce and fulfill my goals. I have enough drama in my daily life and I will not accept it from any naggy woman, that’s for sure. Consider the long term implications of this for your own life..how much drama can you really put up with and achieve your goals?

In the movie, ‘The Family Guy’, Nicolas Cage gets a chance to make the decision to keep his high school sweetheart. Instead of being a rich, powerful bachelor in NYC he gets to experience diapers and life as a tire salesman.

Personally I think the movie is just trying to give some hope to the people who ‘did’ choose their high school sweety and have ‘family’ so they can dismiss the idea of leading a bachelor lifestyle.

But my point is just to realize that different decisions and choices lead to different consequences. It’s neither right nor wrong for him to be the bachelor instead of the ‘family man’ because those are his choices…essentially this is a little chaos theory.

No I absolutely believe Columbus did NOT ‘discover’ America (partly because I’m 25% Native American) but he DID start a chain of events that led to many many compound series of events on top of another. We could also talk about the movie Back to the Future, (but that’s getting too far off from this article).

Try thinking about this when you see a supposedly ‘hot’ woman and the drama she could use to oppress your lifestyle longterm…maybe it was better to not follow that path. Keep your power to yourself and let her share in, if she behaves (or can be naughty from time to time).

So back to the question of, ‘is there only one for me’? I don’t want to break the romantic streak in you, but I don’t think so, no. You can develop relationships with any number of women, and who you ultimately choose, is the one that you choose.

You will have to make everything work from there because a real relationship requires commitment (yikes) and devotion. If you end up with an independent woman, you’re going to get a lot more than you bargained for (ask any divorced man).

If you think about the romantic idea of finding ‘the one for you’…you’re probably too wrapped up in the idea (and dependency) of it. You will find love naturally anyways.

You can be ‘the one’ for many different women, hey, honestly, I’ve done that before (as cocky as that may sound) just by being myself. Maybe it was my fault for leading them along a more ‘traditional’ relationship approach (but doesn’t everyone in the U.S. in our 50/50 paradigm?…this leads to a lot of heartbreak). But I was the one who broke it off but many wanted to have longer term relationships to fulfill their idea of…you know expectation, marriage…

If you are an interesting, great catch yourself and know how to spark natural attraction in women, they’ll be trying to qualify themselves to become ‘your one’. Don’t take it all too seriously unless you’re thinking about marriage or you’ll put too much emotion or value into it which in reality doesn’t help things and will actually screw things up. Even when you are thinking about marriage, if the frame is set where it’s 50/50 or where she has control it’s going to be a challenge to keep it ‘working’ anyways.

However, yes it always good to dream. But that also doesn’t mean you have to put all other women aside because you only want Shakira. There are other interesting and beautiful women out there who once they get to know you, may fall in love with you, or experience great sexual satisfaction with you (or both).

A real relationship is going to be a lot of work, especially with an independent woman (sorry girls but it’s true)..there’s just more give and take on both ends. You can always keep your fantasies though (like Bill Engvall says, his wife woke him up and he was somewhere in the mountains with Shania Twain).

Sex itself is just part of the balance of a relationship, your perception of a woman is most likely not who she is. You’ll find out she has so many likes and dislikes and interests it will be impossible to ‘match’.

On the otherhand if you are looking for a wifey who can know her traditional role in the house and support you without stopping you from being the man you must be, she can balance out your energy instead just being the light and drama herself (like our American counterparts).

You may have to look elsewhere for this type of woman, though there are still some left in the U.S. (but to me I’ve always found them more boring because they don’t have my interest level and energy like our independent women do).

Copyright Dreamcore Productions, Ltd. 2005. Use of article is permissible as long as you make no changes or alterations of the content and include the unedited byline.

Rion Williams offers a free newsletter subscription on how to have ‘natural success with women’ and dating. He is the author of the eBook ‘Mens Guide to Women’.

You can sign up for his free newsletter by visiting mensguidetowomen.com/ Men’s Guide to Women and you will receive 2 free ebooks immediately. His material will change the way you think about dating and women forever. mailto:rion@modelmagnet.com rion@modelmagnet.com

The most important thing to remember if you want to meet women or even make them take a second glance is to remain cool. Now I’m not talking about “acting cool”, I mean BEING cool.

The greatest single thing you can do to attract more women is to work on your own feelings and emotions. What you are looking to achieve, like everything else in life, can be achieved by getting to know yourself.

That’s right! You’ve got it back to front. You want to get to know women when you haven’t even got to know yourself yet.

There are many ways to get to know yourself, including therapy and meditation. The best thing you can do is just become aware of how you are feeling inside. Keep it simple! Just focus on your feeling in any given moment and through time you will become more and more calmer and subsequently more attractive to the opposite sex.

You may think – ‘What has this got to do with attracting and meeting women?’ and I say ‘Everything’.

A woman can spot you a mile off if you are uncomfortable with yourself and it is a big, big turnoff. The good news is that she can also tell if you are comfortable and sure of yourself. That’s why many women are attracted to ‘cocky’ guys. It is because they exude confidence.

Too many guys are focusing on the doing, rather than the being. Chatup lines don’t work if you’re a nervous wreck. I would suggest to you or anyone that when you are comfortable with yourself it doesn’t matter what you say to a woman. As long as it is not insulting she will be more attracted to how you ‘are’, your being, than what you say. The words are secondary!

Did you ever notice that the more you chase a woman the faster they run in the opposite direction? This is because they can sense how needy you are. And most women don’t want to be burdened by a needy guy.

The only way you can rid yourself of these wants and neediness and become more attractive to that woman, not in your life, is to work on the person closest to you – YOU.

So stop wondering what makes even the most physically unattractive men pull the women while someone with good looks has no luck in the dating stakes. The difference is in the person. Who they are or have become and not what they do or say.

The woman is attracted to something in a man that most times she cannot even see. If you think this is all way off track, try observing the concepts at work in your daily life.

For All Our Secrets On Meeting Women Visit: