Love is a magic word which makes the world spin… In the modern world love is also the most abused word. before we get into the specifics let us define Love: it is a relationship in which you put the other person in front of you. You value their feelings and respect their likings, eventually giving up or sacrificing what you value the most.

here is one such love story, which moved me…

As in any other love story, there was a guy named butter and the girl named ginger. Butter was a guy who kept to himself, self contented and happy person. Ginger on the contrary like most other girls needed a shoulder a guiding post, someone to help them out of their sorrows. – I don’t know why most girls dream about a prince coming out of the sky who IS the medicine to all their sorrows, little do they realize it is in their hands rather than the prince himself- Butter, a normal, helpful and resourceful guy helps her out of her current problems.

Eventually as in any other love story, butter realizes that he has special feelings for ginger and gets counselling and finds out that the undescribable feeling he has is love. They realize that they are in love, and start building a future.

They start planning how they want their future to be, how they want their family to be. As in any other loving relationships, dreamz are unlimited, they dream about a bright future how it should be and so on.

Due to a career decision butter decides to move away from ginger for better prospects. Ginger respects his decision and they mutually agree that it is for their welfare that they are going to be separated by approx 8700 nautical miles. It was a conscious decision they made for their future.

Though there were uncertainities in their future, they hoped it will work out! – hope is a very strong thing- . As in any other traditional family, the family waves decide the choices of the children, ginger came to know of butter’s family problems because of this relationship. Ginger did not respond, she probably had it in her back of her mind.

They were still getting so closer that everybody around would envy them. I guess it would have made people around butter and ginger to long for such a relationship. Then one fine day, something happened to ginger and she informed butter that, she was moving on with her life.

Butter was shattered, he wanted to fix the relationship, he tried to convince her. She seemed to be convinced at that moment, but she came back with a strong NO Butter was perplexed, he did not understand why ?

In due course, the original reason popped up, she was concerned that this cross cultural relationship might cause harm to butter’s family. This concern was seeded by some bad experience of her relative and the fact that butter had some family problems due to this relationship.

She seems to have worried about his family more, than her need to have butter for the rest of her life, so she had decided to give him up back to his family.

Hearing this butter, was astonished to see her care. Though butter was not in a position to talk to his family he talked to them and explained the situation. Alas, it did not materialize.

Their main goal was to be with their families and lead a happy life. Since it did not materialize, they let go of their relationship for the welfare of the two families. Butter and Ginger had to let go of each other with heavy hearts, because they valued the parents who cared and loved them since they were born.

I’m confident, they did not let go of their LOVE… but they did let go of their relationship.

LOVE does not necessarily mean being together, letting go is also LOVE!

-Ramesh-

About the Author More details about the author is available at his ramesh.t.googlepages.com website

There’s a lot of information out there about getting a girl’s number. It’s a big topic and every guru has their own method for getting numbers smoothly. It’s kind of funny that people get so hyped up over something so simple, however it is a very important step in going from the first meeting to the date and so you must know how to do it effectively if you ever want to see that blonde bombshell again.

There are a lot of good methods, such as David DeAngelo’s “get her to write her email down and then casually mention that she should write her number too” approach. Then there’s the Art of the Pickup Method where you write your name on a piece of paper, tear it into two pieces, and hand both pieces and a pen to her. No words necessary. She writes her number on the empty one and keeps the other. Although these are good approaches, let’s examine what actually happens at the moment a woman gives you her number.

What is the purpose of getting her number in the first place? Why would she even want to give it to you? The answer is she wants to meet up again. You both know that there will be no follow-up meeting without a way to contact one another. This is the only role of the number. It is simply a link. She knows this just as well as you do. If a woman won’t give you her number, or gives you a false number, there is only one reason for it: She doesn’t want to see you again. Ouch! The truth hurts, son.

But let me tell you from personal experience that it’s all a matter of timing. You have to spend enough time with her flirting and getting her interested that she does want to see you again. If you ask before she’s completely captivated, it ain’t gonna happen. And all your hopes for further interaction are out the window.

Make sure she’s hooked on you before you ask. Plain and simple. At that point, it’s relatively easy for her to feel comfortable giving up the digits. Here’s how I like to structure it:
-After opening and meeting her, get her chatting for a bit.
-Always keep things light, fun, and flirty. Accuse her of hitting on you, etc.
-Make her laugh, smile, and really open up to you. Make sure she touches you first.
-After she touches you, you can feel free to start touching her back in fun, playful ways, nothing sexual.
-When you’ve gotten enough signs of interest to know she’s really into you, this is where you can either: (a) suggest a date (not ask for, suggest) ex. “I’ll be going out to the comedy club this weekend, you should come with me”, “That’s awesome that you’re into sports, we should watch a game together” or (b) Say you’ve had fun but you need to get going.

Suggesting the date at this point is actually a great idea, because once she has agreed that it would be fun, she now has a concrete reason for giving you her number. She has to if she wants to continue having fun with you. Once she has agreed that she’d like to do that, you can wrap up the interaction by going to (b). (This should actually be where you need to leave her to get somewhere else, so save this until you are ready to separate. It’s best to keep first meetings short and sweet anyway.) Simply let her know you’ve got to go, and tell her you’ve had fun.

Here’s where my number getting strategy comes in. You just told her that you’re leaving after she’s had so much fun with you. This should actually be a let down for her. If she isn’t at least a little bothered by this news, she probably doesn’t care if she gets to see more of you or not. This isn’t a good sign. She absolutely must be attracted to you at this point, or there’s no reason to get her number. Here’s what SHOULD be going through her mind at this point: “Oh no, I don’t want him to leave, he’s so fun. I wonder if I’ll ever see this guy again?” It should almost be like the awkward moment before a first kiss. Now when you ask for her number, you are actually giving her an opportunity to continue the experience you just shared together. Now it’s a positive thing. Now she really wants to give it to you.

So, what’s the easiest way to ask for it? Don’t ask. Most people these days have cell phones. Just open your cell phone and hand it to her. You don’t have to make a big deal out of it. People almost always take whatever you hand to them. (Just a silly truth about humans.) So now that she’s holding your phone, her brain will comply with the physical action of taking the phone and rationalize that she wanted this opportunity to give you her number. Bottom line, she’ll most likely know what to do. If she asks or hesitates, tell her “Just type your number in and I’ll call you later this week.” She’ll do it.

The bonuses of this technique are: you don’t have to ask, you don’t have to have a pen and paper, and you don’t have to make an excuse for why you want to get her number, she already knows why and wants the same thing. One more bonus is that if she isn’t sure how to work your phone, you can get close to her, put an arm around her and help her out with it (but don’t kiss her yet, even if she wants it, make her wait, hahaha). Also, you can call her phone on the spot if you want to verify her number. You may or may not want her to have your number at this point, but this is an easy way to make sure its her real number, its not typed in wrong, etc. Then go about your merry way and let her think about you and start waiting for your call.

Well fellas, that’s my advice on the number close. (The “Romeo technique” if you will.) Get out and make some ladies happy.

CJ Romero

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My name is CJ Romeo. Welcome to my world. I review Seduction, Pick-up, Dating, Relationship, and Sexuality Programs for Men. I’m a hypnotist, all-around socializer, and sexual connoiseur. I’ll give you honest and up-front reviews of the most popular programs on the net. The purpose of this site is to give men the tools they need to become world class lovers. I believe in an inside-out approach, first to success with yourself, and then to success with women. With that said, let me introduce you to this wild world of social immersion and self-discovery. It will be the greatest adventure of your life. Guaranteed.

Join me at:
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Real love is not only hard to find, it’s hard to accept. This may seem counterintuitive, I know, but if you really ponder it long enough to get it, it could change the way you think about love.

All of us have been wounded in some way, whether by early love relationships or later ones. Naturally, we create defenses to avoid getting hurt again, and unfortunately this includes defenses against love. Loving responses from others, when we’ve gone so long without, can cause anxiety and sadness. Love hurts, as the song goes. So unconsciously we are motivated to keep love at bay.

Being truly loved tilts our world and creates anxiety. Sometimes it’s easier to settle for the illusion–to create fantasy relationships that may have the outward signs of being the real thing, but which lack the joys–and the tensions– of real love.

Or maybe we actually do manage to fall in love but before we know it, romance fades. Why does this happen? Because we can’t tolerate the tension caused by being loved, the insecurities it stirs up. Isn’t love supposed to make us feel secure? Not necessarily.

The way it plays out is this. Soon after we start feeling committed to someone we lock love into a compartment far removed from day-to-day reality. Removed, that is, from the way we actually behave toward the other. We have the IDEA that we’re in love, but our behaviors don’t match the concept.

You know what this is like when you’re on the receiving end. When someone is giving you the talk of love but not the behaviors that go along with it you begin wondering where reality is. It’s confusing, even crazy-making. Is it him (or her) or is it me? Is this real love?

Believe me, a lack of loving behavior on the part of someone who claims to love you is a definite red flag. But you already know that, right? The real question is, what you’re doing in this complicated mish-mash that is supposed to be feeling good but in fact has you anxious and confused?

Real love seems to elude us. People enter therapy thinking they can’t find it, when the real problem may be that they can’t tolerate it. Or, they may lack the capacity to truly love another because they haven’t yet worked out their own identity issues. They want someone to “complete” them and make them feel whole.

Unfortunately it doesn’t work this way. We make a gift of ourselves when we love, and to do that we have to be complete to begin with. Partly, this “I need love to feel complete” is a cultural idea. We’re told we need a soul mate if we’re going to be truly gratified in life. Without a soul mate our glass will remain forever half-empty. Life’s journey becomes the endless search for romantic gratification, without which we basically believe we have nothing. The trick is in giving yourself enough to feel good–at which point you’ll actually have something to offer someone else. Firestone and Catlett, in their book, Fear of Intimacy, offer us an eye-opening definition of love. Love, they day, “is those behaviors that enhance the emotional well-being, sense of self, and autonomy of both parties”. Your goal, in other words, is enhancing the other, not yourself.

In a way, it’s so obvious. What these authors mean is that anyone who claims to love will behave in certain ways toward the object of that love. Their behavior will be appreciative and respectful of the true nature of the other person. They’ll support his or her personal freedom, rather than try to possess.

Those who say they want love but basically avoid it are in conflict. They need to repair the wounds they’ve experienced if they want to be able to tolerate the anxiety that goes along with mature love. Creating in oneself the ability to love is a developmental task, and often it requires help. But the good news is that it can be accomplished–IF love is something you really want.

NYC psychotherapist Colette Dowling has written widely on the subject of women’s emotional issues. Some of her books are The Cinderella Complex: Women’s Hidden Fear of Independence, Red Hot Mamas: Coming Into Our Own at Fifty, and “You Mean I Don’t Have to Feel This Way?”: New Help for Depression, Anxiety and Addiction.

Colette Dowling, LMSW, is an internationally renowned writer and lecturer. She has written eight books and is best known for uncovering women’s psychological conflicts with independence in her best-selling The Cinderella Complex.

NYC psychotherapist Colette Dowling, LMSW, has a private practice in Manhattan. She specializes in the treament of women’s conflicts with relationshisp, work, and success. Ms. Dowling can be reached at mailto:dowlingcolette@earthlink.net dowlingcolette@earthlink.net Further information on real love and Ms. Dowling’s therapy practice can be found at Psychology Today

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