What does it look like to find God in your break up?

Consider the image of a flower on a battlefield. While the battle rages all around, the flower remains…resting in peace…with complete ease…and total grace. This image provides a great metaphor; you are the flower; the battlefield is your separation and divorce. The image represents what is possible as you grow closer to God during your break up.

If you’re like me, your separation and divorce can occur as a battlefield…fielding a noisy battle that rages in your mind and never stops fighting – to fix, change, control, be right, and get from here to there to have more peace, happiness, and fulfillment.

If your separation and divorce has turned into a search for peace and happiness, and your “search for peace and happiness” has turned into “an exhausting battle of thoughts that generate anger, anxiety, fear, and turmoil”, here’s some good news…

The “peace of a flower” is IN you…right now…even in the midst of the battlefield of your break up.

How do you experience that level of peace? Through surrender…so God can take up more residence inside you. Filled with Him, you become like a flower because you are filled with His Peace – the Peace that passes all understanding.

Since His Peace “passes all understanding”, when we’re all wrapped up in the box of our own understanding, it’s impossible to experience God’s presence and peace. Since an experience of His presence is beyond our thinking, any attempt to think our way to God will become a fruitless battle for Peace…that only He can bring when we give up the fight.

How much of His Peace you experience, is directly related to how much of your understanding (what you think you “know” about your separation and divorce) you are willing to surrender. It’s simply not possible to fill the God-shaped hole in your soul with your own “stuff” (beliefs, opinions, and understanding about your separation and divorce). Through surrender, God can do in and for us what we are unable to do in and for ourselves.

The first step to surrender and giving Him room to work, is having faith that the “desert” of your break up is not a “bad” or “wrong” place to be. It just happens to be where you are. You may not have chosen your separation and divorce. However, that doesn’t mean you can’t choose to be with “what is”…right now. You can say “Yes” to your “desert” experience (your divorce) in the same way the desert fathers said “Yes” when they chose the literal desert for growth in Christ.

From that perspective, the desert is an opportune place to be. Your separation and divorce is an opportunity to say “Yes”…to that place…for that purpose – to grow closer to God.

God knows your struggle. Therefore, turn to Him in sweet surrender; give up your need to “be right” and make others “wrong”. Die to yourself and that part of you that demands to be in control and run the show called your life. Turn your suffering over to God and open yourself up so He has room to do different, more life-giving work in you. Ask God for His Peace to enter you for healing and wholeness.

Until that is done on a heartfelt level, we will never know what it is like to be in the midst of a difficulty, like a separation and divorce, but filled with The Peace that passes all understanding. We will never know what it is like to truly rest in that Peace…where we simply and graciously just BE with our break up… like a flower on a battlefield.

This article is an excerpt from Bill Dyer’s Award-Winning Book,
How To Bounce Back And Be Happy When Life Blows You Down,
available at: bouncebackandbehappy.com bouncebackandbehappy.com

Bill Dyer

Professional Speaker/Award-Winning Author

mailto:billdyer@billdyer.com billdyer@billdyer.com

billdyer.com billdyer.com

336-379-0777

True enough, a wedding is the most difficult event to plan and prepare for. And it gets even more challenging if the budget is tight. But don’t fret, we have come up with some tips to help you stay on track money-wise.

1. Limit your invites to the most important people in your life. Less guests less expenses.

2. The venue eats up a huge percentage of the budget so be wise and practical when selecting your venue. If possible, have both the ceremony and the reception in one place to minimize your cost.

3. Resist the urge to pick foods that are costly i.e. lobsters, steaks. You can still impress your guests with less expensive food.

4. Keep your invitation simple. If you have the time or extra helping hands, you may even want to consider making the invitation yourself. You can get wedding invitation kits from wedding supply stores or even your local craft store.

5. When decorating the venue, keep the use of flowers to a minimum. They are costly. Use candles (they go a long way when it comes to giving life to a venue), tulles and ribbons as substitutes.

6. While it is nice to be entertained by a live band, recorded music will do just fine.

7. Forget about hiring an emcee. Ask a family member or a friend to emcee instead.

8. Ask yourself if you really want your wedding on a film. Will you spend some time after the wedding to watch it? Or will the video end up in your grandmother’s chest in the attic?

9. Opt for a less extravagant cake. Get a 2-tiered cake instead of a 4- or 3-tiered cake. Another option is mini cakes arranged in a layered cake rack.

10. Limit the champagne to the toast. Instead of wine, serve less expensive drinks.

11. Forget about hiring a wedding planner. You can still get the job done with the help of family members and friends.

12. Instead of hiring a limousine, look for alternative means of transport i.e. a friend’s Bentley, your fathers Mercedes.

13. Always haggle for a lower price with the vendors. Since they expect some negotiations to happen, they would most often give a quote that is higher than what they are willing to accept.

Johanna Docena is the owner of Docena Bridal, an online wedding store that sells docenabridal.com/ bridal jewelry, personalized wedding attendant gifts and wedding accessories. Visit us at docenabridal.com docenabridal.com.

Jealousy is one of the most human of all emotions, and each one of us has experienced it at one time or the other. Jealousy towards your spouse/partner, jealousy towards a sibling, jealousy towards a co-worker, these are but a few examples of this human emotion. While in some cases this jealousy is at a controllable stage, there are yet others when this emotion just takes over the lives of people, and it is then that the warning bells start ringing. Some amount of jealousy is natural to all people, but when it becomes an obsessive trait there is cause to worry, for driven by this Green Devil, we end up hurting the people we love and causing mental torture to both them and us. Once you have identified this emotion as one that has to be dealt with, hypnotherapy for jealousy is one of the most effective routes you could take to control it.

Jealousy, is a result of an over active imagination and an underlying insecurity. As someone rightly said, “an idle mind is a devil’s workshop”. This misguided imagination makes us do some terrible things. You can’t stop thinking about your partner, each and every innocent thing that he says and does, seem to take on epic proportions of infidelity to you. You find yourself imagining scenarios about your partner, and in the process torment yourself. You know that it’s not good for your relationship, but you simply can’t stop. Jealousy can be tragic and devastating to a relationship, it can create bitterness beyond imagination. In some cases it can lead to domination, controlling behavior and even physical violence; and I do not need to wax eloquent on how effective these things are in killing love and relationships. If you realize that it’s time to keep a check on your jealousy, you have already taken the first step towards bettering situations. Hypnotherapy for jealousy will take you a long way from there.

As I said, jealousy is often caused by our insecurities; hypnotherapy for jealousy takes stock of the past and present events in your life and identifies the core issue, which might be the catalyst to such behavior. Once the trigger is identified, hypnotherapy for jealousy helps you get over the negative emotions, through the power of positive thinking and auto-suggestions. Insecurity is effectively dealt with by changing your self-image and perception. Your self esteem is boosted by auto suggestions, and this reflects in your outward behavior. Your fertile imagination is weeded out thoroughly for unwanted scenes and undesirable stimuli, to give it a more healthy and positive outlook.

Hypnotherapy for jealousy works faster than you can imagine. Your partner will be astounded to see the new you, and it is needless to say that it will bring about a dramatic positive change in your relationship. Gone are the ugly scenes and the nagging suspicion, both you and your partner will benefit from these changes. If you stop imagining things, and learn to trust your partner, you will stop torturing yourself mentally. On the other hand, with this renewed trust your partner will feel less threatened and controlled, and will subconsciously react in a positive way towards you. Remember that though you feel your overwhelming love for your partner justifies your desire to control his/her actions, you know deep down it is not the done thing. Add to that the fact that chewing your nails while imagining worst possible scenes involving your mate, and an imaginary “Other” will bring you no good. So its time you got yourself a manicure for your hands, and hypnotherapy for your soul.

Richard MacKenzie is an expert in using Hypnotherapy for richardmackenzie.co.uk/overcoming-jealousy.htm Overcoming Jealousy and he also has a great range of richardmackenzie.co.uk/et.htm Hypnosis Downloads

If you have suspicions about your partner cheating on you then don’t just drive these thoughts away. It might be a good time to do a little investigation to be sure. Don’t tell your partner straight ahead that you’re doubtful about their actions and manners. Start your investigation by clearly following their tracks and then slowly and gradually making your way up to the final stage.

One way to tell if your partner is cheating on you is to catch them lying about a matter. You can follow eye movements to tell if they are lying. Ask more questions if you are not sure of their discomfort or uneasiness. If their answers are brief and clear, then they are telling the truth. If, however, they try to create stories out of nothing and don’t try to look at you while speaking then it’s time you started worrying about your relationship.

Partners who are cheating are often guilty of their actions. They try to apologize over small mistakes and go out of their way to make you happy or feel pampered. Keep an eye on this change of attitude or abnormal behavior. Some people also start showing that they have little interest in you or your activities and that they want to spend sometime alone. This kind of behavior is also alarming. Tell them you want to go with them even it’s a short trip to the mall.

When your partner is away frequently call them on their phone to see if it’s busy. You can track down credit card and phone bills to take into notice something unusual going on behind your back. Also check your partner’s closets and shirt pockets to look for scribbled-down phone numbers or meeting places. If you find an unknown number, call that number and see who picks up. If it’s not a familiar voice then ask questions to learn where they live and who they are. If your partner has got a cell phone then get your hands on it when they’re not looking and check the phonebook. Call a suspicious number and notice the tone of the other person when he/she picks up the phone.

Another way to catch a cheating partner is to follow them in a car. See where they go, what they buy and who they meet. If you can, try to show up suddenly somewhere and be surprised to see your partner there. Notice their reaction. If they are happy to see you then there’s nothing to worry about. If, however, they are perplexed, worried and wide-eyed, then they are surely hiding something. Ask them questions to clarify things up a bit. If nothing seems to work, go back and carry on with your investigation till you come up with something solid. Confront your partner only when you have enough evidence against them and then decide what should be done next.

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