At some point in your relationship you will arrive at the proverbial fork in the road where you will have to decide whether you want to continue to travel down the same path as your partner, or is it better if you begin to travel your own separate ways. If after thinking and pondering your future you come to option number two, then you will come to find out the most difficult aspects of dating and being in a relationship. Knowing when the relationship is over.

There are many ways in which you can break up with someone. Obviously, some are better than others. However you should want to preserve the dignity of the party whom you once cared for, as well as the memories of your time together. You should always want to end the relationship with class and style.

Be direct and be honest
When it comes to the point that the relationship is over, the worst thing to do is to try to work through something that neither or one party wants to work through any longer. It’s best to be direct and honest in both your feelings and desire, and letting your partner know that the relationship has run its course and it’s over. By being direct, and being honest, you alleviate any hard feelings over any innuendos that might be inferred, if someone thinks that the door is still open and there’s a chance that the relationship can be repaired. If your relationship is over, the gamesman(woman)ship should be over to.

End the Relationship in a Public Place
When the intimacy has gone in the relationship, it makes no sense to end it in an intimate environment. Inviting your partner to dinner in your home or theirs, can only confuse the intention of the meeting. When the relationship is over, there’s no need for deception on any part. Attempting to end a relationship in an intimate setting like either partners home, or the home you share, can have disastrous side effects. When it’s time to have that relationship ending conversation, it’s best to do it in a public setting; preferably in a park or not so intimate restaurant during the day.

Remember what you used to have with the person
Breaking up is difficult enough without resorting to name calling, making innuendos’, and/or physical confrontations. When it’s over, it’s better to reflect and remember the things that brought you together, and not to dwell on the things that drove you apart. Keep an open and understanding mind and a positive outlook, especially if you are the person that wants the relationship to end and your partner wants the relationship to continue.

Leave the details out
It’s easy and common to get sucked into the ‘why are you breaking up with me?’ conversation. However, when the relationship is over, you are not obligated to provide one or a scroll of reasons why you’re breaking up with the person, nor to list all the bad qualities the person you’re breaking up with possesses. What you may find annoying, someone else may find insightful. Keep the conversation short and don’t lose sight of the fact that you’ve made a decision to end the relationship, and the other party has to learn to accept it.

Make a clean break
One of the most difficult aspects of ending a relationship is remembering that the relationship is over. Most people when ending a relationship like to use the old familiar cliché: ‘We can still be friends.’ It’s difficult to still be friends, when one person does not want the relationship to end and the other one wants it to continue. If the relationship has truly come to the end, so should the friendship, communication, and support, at least for the immediate future.

When the relationship ends, both people need time for their mind, body, heart, and soul to heal. Breaking up can take its physical and emotional toll on anyone. The healing will be better when both parties put time, space, and distance between them. Be considerate of your former partners wish(es) if they have a desire for a clean break, and don’t want you communicating with them anymore. If by some chance or happenstance, you meet again on the road of life, you will both be in a better position to be more mature and reflect on your relationship in a positive way, than by one or both parties’ harboring animosity. If you try to remain friends and hold onto something that’s no longer there, one person may spend their time clinging on to the false hope of something happening, when there’s nothing left to cling to. When it’s over, it’s over. Put a period on it and move on.

About the author: Obi aka The Relationship Guy, provides insightful, common sense, witty, and some times sarcastic articles on love, dating, and relationships. His forthcoming book, ‘The Blueprint of Love’ goes into detail about the game of love. You can read more articles and get more information about the book by going to: theblueprintoflove.com theblueprintoflove.com You can also read his blog on married life called: Marriage 101: Lessons Learned in the First Year of Marriage