This is one of the most common questions I get asked from my coaching clients. They’ve been hurt before and don’t want to go there again! It’s actually a really good question. The whole, “We’ll just know!” thing doesn’t work. If that was the plan for your last marriage, you’re intimately familiar with how bad that plan is.

Marriage is a lifetime commitment and the decision to enter into it should be taken very seriously. The last thing you want to do is rely on emotions only.

There are 3 main criteria areas I usually go over with my clients when we reach this question. Let’s look at these together today.

1. How do your children feel about the possibility of you remarrying? A wise saying to remember is “First marriages usually stay together for the sake of the children. Remarriages usually end because of the children.” If you’ve rushed too quickly into a relationship, your kids may still be reeling from the divorce.

I’m not saying that if your kids aren’t absolutely in love with your partner that you can’t marry. But what I am saying is that the kids are a part of this new marriage too. They will have an incredibly effective way of damaging this marriage if you don’t work to develop that relationship between your your children and new partner BEFORE the wedding.

2. How much have you learned about step family dynamics? Step families aren’t the same as other families. The honest truth is that they are a lot harder! Trying to make a step family function like your previous nuclear family will feel like putting a square peg into a round hole. It just won’t fit and everyone will get frustrated.

3. How well have I dealt with the ending of my previous marriage? A lot of people are really uncomfortable with the idea of being alone. You tag the label “divorced” on there and the discomfort shoots through the roof. In an attempt to wiggle out of that discomfort, many people rush into the first relationship that presents itself. BIG MISTAKE!

You need some time to be alone. You need to be comfortable with it and you need to create a life as a single person. Then and only then are you able to make a choice about a new partner rather than a leap into someone’s (anyone’s) arms.

In case you missed it, the common thread through all 3 of these questions is TIME. You can’t honestly expect to accomplish any of these tasks if enough time hasn’t passed. There needs to have been time in between the divorce and this new relationship and then more time between the creation of this relationship and the wedding. If you find yourself or your partner rushing the “I Do’s”, you need to question why that is.

Want to learn more? Visit RemarriageSuccess.com/premaritalhome.htm RemarriageSuccess.com/premaritalhome.htm to access our Pre-Marital section. In it you will find, a free e-course, other articles and resources as well as a monthly e-zine created just for those of you who are preparing for a remarriage.

If you’re really ready to prepare yourselves, I encourage you to take a look at our very popular 2 book set, “THE 7 Questions to Ask Before Saying ‘I Do’ Again”. Check out the details at RemarriageSuccess.com/7questions.htm RemarriageSuccess.com/7questions.htm

All of this was brought to you by Alyssa Johnson

If you are planning a large wedding, then you are probably thinking about what you will do to entertain your guest during the reception. Many people opt for a DJ to play a variety of music during the reception. However, you may want to consider hiring a wedding singer or band. The wedding singer that you hire for your wedding can make or break your entire reception. You want to make sure that you hire a reputable wedding singer that is flexible, has a good singing voice and will not ruin your evening.

It may seem like a daunting task to hire the wedding singer for your reception. How do you go about choosing the right one? The first thing you should do is to get recommendations from other people who have hired the wedding singer for their own wedding. People love sharing their experiences both good and bad and this will give you a good idea of what you want to look for when you hire wedding entertainment. Another good idea is to go to functions where this wedding singer is performing to see them in action.

This will give you an excellent idea of the wedding singer’s work ethics and will give you an idea of how they sound. You will also want to consider your budget when you go about hiring the wedding singer for your reception. The amount that you pay will vary a great deal. For example, you might know an excellent singer that sings in your church choir. This person might charge a lot less than a professional wedding singer.

After you have narrowed your choices down, you will want to talk to the wedding singer prior to hiring. Make sure you ask any questions you may have. You may want to know what type of songs that they will sing. This is important for you to know, because if you hate country music, and that is the only thing your wedding finger knows, it is probably not the right choice for you. You will want to make sure you find somebody that can agree to sing songs that you enjoy. You will also want to make sure that you have your agreement, along with the date of your wedding and the amount that you will pay the wedding singer in writing. This is extremely important so that everybody involved with the planning of your wedding is on the same page.

With a little planning and patience, you can find the right wedding singer for your wedding reception. It is extremely important that you find someone you can work well with and that will make your evening enjoyable for both you and your wedding guests.

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Having a little bag that you can carry (or have someone in the bridal party carry) with you throughout the wedding day can keep you from worrying about things that may happen, and dealing with them when they do.

Medicine

Although everyone is feeling wonderful on the wedding day, it’s amazing what a few nerves can do to the body. Headaches, upset stomachs, and dizziness can all rear their ugly heads right when you are feeling the most pressure.

And that’s not just the couple.

You may want to keep on hand a few things to keep everyone feeling good, or at least keep them upright throughout the ceremony. A chewable or liquid antacid is a great way to calm any nervous stomachs. Crackers and ginger ale are good though too. For headaches, you can keep some acetaminophen on hand. This is usually gentler on the stomach than ibuprofen, and can be taken without food.

If the bride or bridesmaids should feel dizzy, then have them immediately sit down. Dizziness can be caused by a lot of things—low blood sugar, nerves, and more serious conditions. If the bride or groom should faint, smelling salts can help to revive them.

Bandaids are good too for sore feet in too tight of shoes.
Beauty fixes

For the women, you may want to have a few beauty tools to keep everyone looking their best. Spare lip gloss and balm are good to keep the lips looking good. A translucent face powder will keep the nose and forehead from shining. Always keep a small bottle of clear nail polish as well. This is good for fixing rhinestones that have fallen off dresses to sealing tears in stockings.

A small brush and mirror can also help, while hair spray and extra deodorant are also nice to have on hand. Bobby pins can help most hair crises, but a curling iron can be an asset too.

Miscellaneous

It’s amazing what you may need and never think of. For example, did you think to bring extra straight pins for the corsages or in case the bouquets fell apart? A small sewing kit is good to in order to fix up any small emergencies.

Stain remover and chalk are also good to have on hand. If there should be any stains that need removing, the stain remover is there. If there’s something on the bride’s dress, then you can lightly cover it with the chalk—it works great and won’t hurt the dress.

Amy Spade is an expert on planning weddings, and she has written an amazing totally free minicourse on how to make sure that you have the day of your dreams, and avoid wedding day disaster!

Get the free course “Your Special Day from Start to Finish” now at at weddingdata.com weddingdata.com

Planning a wedding is huge task, which requires a lot of hard work. Use of an experienced co-ordinator can help reduce the stress associated with a wedding and take the worry out of the wedding day. I use the term co-ordinator as opposed to planner as in my experience you should still plan your wedding with the co-ordinator making sure that your plans become a reality. A co-ordinator can help you find suppliers at the best prices and also will give help and advice regarding timings, colour schemes, flowers and make suggestions from experience of previous weddings.

On the wedding day the coordinator is invaluable to ensure that the day is running smoothly and making changes as plans change e.g. wedding ceremony running late and time for coaches needs altering, photographer just getting a few extra special shots and the dinner needs delaying half an hour, or even dinner running early and band/DJ needs to start a little earlier than planned. However organised you are, there are so many variables on the wedding day that last minute changes are common and almost inevitable.

Costs involved with hiring a co-ordinator vary from company to company. Some work on a commission basis, some on a one-off fee to arrange a wedding and others on a percentage basis of the whole wedding. It is a good idea to clarify exactly what costs are involved remembering to ask what commission the co-ordinator takes from any third party suppliers that you contract. Overall the co-ordinator will save you time and money on the overall cost of the wedding.

This becomes more relevant if you have chosen to marry in a foreign country such as Spain, where you will also have different legal rules to deal with, distance and also probably a language barrier to deal with. In this case the services of a co-ordinator helps to close the miles and help you gain peace of mind for your perfect day.

Kerry is the owner of Celebrations in Spain, and has been helping to co-ordinate weddings in Spain and Gibraltar for many years. You are invited to visit celebrationsinspain.com celebrationsinspain.com for Planning Services on getting married in Spain. Many celebrationsinspain.com/venues-locations-church-registry-registrar.html Wedding Venues on the Costa del Sol can be found at Celebrations in Spain.c