You are walking down the sidewalk when you see your ideal woman–a total goddess–walking toward you.

Now when you think about, it seems like it might be the most natural thing in the world to genuinely go over and interact with this beautiful creature, and yet for most men that’s not the case.

Quite the contrary, right?

“I’m genuinely attracted and interested in these women and yet I’m consistently terrified, terrified to approach them! What’s up? What’s going on here?”

A lot of women, women that we are just undeniably drawn to, are literally radiating a lot of what I call “feminine energy”.

Yet ironically, for a lot of men this is both the source of your attraction AND your “contraction.”

We “contract,” or close down in the face of her radiance because of how little capacity we have to receive or handle a lot of sensation in general.

In more common language we’re getting “blown out.” She’s kicking a lot of feminine juice and we’re getting energetically short-circuited before we even start our approach. Starting to sound familiar now? Later on you’ll realize what you would’ve liked to say, or the perfect joke you could’ve made…

Yet for many men, it’s as if you’re not functioning, literally short-circuiting, in those moments.

The good news is that this doesn’t have to be the case. In fact, you can increase your capacity to be with radiant, gorgeous women.

You might have to experience this directly to fully understand it, but you may have noticed that a lot of men who are comfortable approaching extremely radiant, attractive women have practiced a lot of martial arts or yoga. They have actively cultivated the capacity to fully be with a lot of sensation and intensity without losing their center.

Whether you go out and start working on your black belt or not, I’ve actually found that for most of my clients, simply becoming aware of how you close off from feeling can make a huge difference. With or without intense training, you can handle a lot more energy than you think, once you at least know to try.

The source of you shutting down with extraordinarily beautiful women, in those clutch moments, is you shutting down from what you’re feeling!

Now, what to do about it?

The very first step, before you say a word, is to become more “Present.” What I mean by this is, you need to become more aware of what’s going on inside your body.

You have to start by getting familiar, real cozy with the particular ways that you habitually close off from intense sensations. Do your hands get clammy? Do you get a knot in your stomach? Do you start thinking not-so-empowering thoughts repeatedly?

What are the specific ways you personally shut down what you’re feeling?

If you struggle with “approach anxiety,” you should check out my free eBook, ” authenticmanprogram.com” target=”_blank Ultimate Guide to Inner Game Sticking Points–and How to Overcome Them.”

In a future article, I’ll talk about the top 2 most common ways men shut down around women they’re attracted to, and how to overcome them.

Bryan Bayer is co-founder and facilitator of the Authentic Man Program, committed to supporting men in having authentic, flourishing, kick-ass relationships with women. He specializes in helping men overcome their “inner game” sticking points with women.
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