This week let’s talk about procrastination and how it can hold you back from succeeding with single women.

You know in your heart you need to get off your dead ass and start taking some action to meet, attract, and seduce women.

But, you have fallen into a pattern of putting it off until another day. Then another day rolls around and you put it off again. Then it becomes a habit of putting it off and it robs you of your initiative to do something to turn your love life around.

So, what’s the cure for procrastination? Why, action of course! You’ve got to take action to meet and date more women. The women you desire are not just going to drop out of the sky. You’ve got to pursue them.

And when you start to make some moves on all those sexy honeys you’re dying to date, you will feel so much better about yourself. It will build your self-confidence too.

So, to sum it up, get something going in your pursuit of single women. Do whatever it takes and for goodness sake, do something no matter what it is. Guess what happens if you do nothing? You’ll be spending lots of lonely nights at home that’s what!

Sometimes you’ve just got to take control of your life and force yourself to do something. Something like getting up your nerve to approach women, for example.

Remember when you took your driving test to get your driver’s license and how nervous you were? This is a good example of when you forced yourself to take action to get what you wanted (your driver’s license so you could drive). And forcing yourself to approach women is no different. To get what you want, you’ve got to take action my friend!

This article written by Don Diebel (Americas #1 Singles
Expert). If you would like more free dating tips on how to
successfully meet, date, attract, and become intimate with
women, please visit his website at: getgirls.com getgirls.com.

My name is Jaci Rae and this is my true love story. When I first began “serious” dating, everyone was supposed to be “the one.” At least that’s what everyone told me. ‘He’s the one for you.’ ‘When are you two going to get married?’ ‘Has he popped the question yet?’ What many people never saw was the inner turmoil of the relationship and the way the man treated me behind the scenes.

Society sees single people as sad and alone, yet whenever I was in a relationship, I was deeply lonely. However, the underlying current of feeling lonely when I was in a relationship was much less when I was single, only now I had the added value of feeling rejected, too. Why? How could I be lonely when I had “the one” sitting next to me and how, when I was single and alone, could I feel less lonely than when I was with “the one?”

Other questions constantly raced through my mind such as: Was I always the wrong person? Why wasn’t I ever Mrs. Right?

To give you more insight into me and how I ended up in a string of wash out relationships with men who broke my heart and my bank account many times you need a little understanding about my background.

I grew up poor with the added feeling of being very unwanted. I lived in a house that wasn’t a home, filled with drug addicts and predators and I was the child with a key around my neck. My Mom wasn’t home much because she had to work to support two children as a single mother without child support so I grew up feeling very rejected and alone. Do you see the pattern?

Don’t blame my Mom for what happened to me. If it hadn’t been that way, I wouldn’t have grown up to be who I am today. My brother succumbed to the drug life by the age of seven and I said no. There but the Grace of God go I, really. I grew up with my older brother seeking me out for help and guidance, and calling me Mom most of the time.

His escape at a very young age was drugs and alcohol and mine was food. Either I didn’t eat at all, acting out my anorexia or I ate ravenously, something I still struggle with today. Food was the only thing I could control in my own life and the way I learned to punish myself for being so “bad.” Why did I think I was bad? My reasoning as a child was; if I were a good girl, no one would harm me. Therefore, I must be very bad and I was being punished for being so.

By the age of eight, I started on a journey to discover why these men sought to harm me and why I was so ugly, stupid, fat and horrible. I ravenously read every book I could find at the school library during lunch, and magazines at home. Once I was older and had a job (age 12) I bought books and music, even though I needed clothing and food more. It started me on a journey that hasn’t stopped; my love of what makes people tick and how relationships work or don’t.

Let’s move to events that are more recent. With all my education and studying, I still ended up in the “wrong” relationship. Why? I had changed my pattern, or so I thought. I picked people with different backgrounds, different careers, different education levels, different socio-economic backgrounds and different looks. What was wrong? I always seemed to pick the man who would treat me the worst. The “good” ones only wanted to be my friends.

During that time, I was sought after by friends and family, and people who were referred to me to help them understand themselves and their relationships. Why was I able to help them and not myself? I knew the basic rule that I must love myself before anyone else would love me, but I knew that I could never love myself. I was too ugly. Too fat. Too stupid. In addition to any other horrible adjectives I could throw at myself. So I hid myself even further.

The laws of attraction that most of us have heard, but practically no one adheres too, ruled over me. I only attracted those that would hurt me the most because I spent most of my spare time hurting myself mentally with words and physically with food. I hadn’t changed the way I felt about myself, so how could I expect the men in my life to change the way they treated me?

One day, while I was sitting with my then-boyfriend a revelation came over me. The words I had read about, studied and preached to others hit me full in the face. I deserve better and I am not junk. This man, who had been a dear friend for years, was my boyfriend now and he was horrible to me! He was a great friend but sucked at the boyfriend gig.

As I sat in the room with a bunch of NFL people, I realized many of these men and women needed to score points with themselves and their “loved” ones and not just put a show on so others thought they did. That’s when the title, “Winning Points With The Woman In Your Life One Touchdown at a Time – How to Score For Men and Women” came to my mind.

At first, I fought writing this book. How could I possibly mix football and love? I wasn’t even a huge football fan! However, once I sat down to do so it came out quickly (I learned a lot about football along the way!).

The next step I took to write the book was to interview men and women on the street to find out what their thoughts were about relationships and what made them crazy in them. A year and a half of research later I started the real journey of self-discovery. I wasn’t the horrible, awful, ugly person I believed deep in my soul I was. I was a kind person who struggled with her weight, but that didn’t mean I didn’t deserve the best.

It was also at that point that I realized I was much happier being single than being in a relationship and I started to practice the self-love I always spoke and wrote about. For two years, I wrote and I was happy – elated actually. People would stop me on the street just to say how much I glowed. It was amazing.

They say love comes when you least expect it, and that’s what happened to me. It was during my time of happy singleness, that I met the man who would turn out to be my soul mate. We talked for hours and I mean truly talked. I had never really had such in-depth conversation with anyone!

Nevertheless, I ran scared. A month later, I was in a relationship with a man who was fun but a player. After a month with him, I realized what I was doing and headed as fast as I could in the other direction. I called up the other man and we went on our first date. He was kind and sensitive (gorgeous to boot) and he even sidestepped me from doggy poop on our hike.

We spent the entire afternoon and well into the wee hours of the next morning just talking and laughing. However, when I left him for my car I knew I wasn’t going to date him. My mom called me the next day and asked me how the date had gone. I told her what a wonderful time I had and how wonderful he was. I then stated firmly, “…but I am not going to date him.” She said, “oh…how sad.”

Something clicked inside me at that moment and I turned around and said, “No way! I am going to date him.” And that’s just what I did. In that instance I made a choice (and you can too) to change my dating pattern. I was going to go for the man I wasn’t attracted too. The man who didn’t have the element of “danger,” which is what seemed to be underlying in all the other men I had dated.

That was nearly two years ago and I am still totally in love as he is with me. We literally spend almost all of our time together (we work side by side as well) and while we have occasional disagreements, we always apologize. We are a normal couple after all! He really is the most incredible man I have ever known.

So what changed and how can you change your life so you can attract the one person that will treat you like gold? I go over that a lot in Winning Points With The Woman In Your Life One Touchdown at a Time (Simon and Schuster – Fireside). Despite the title, this book is for both sexes and is not all about Football. While I do use football language in the book, it’s not a football book per se.

But the crux of it is this, first your must make a decision to love yourself and treat yourself with respect and second you must make a decision to change your life, which includes your love life. It’s that basic. No one can give you a magic pill or potion and no words can change anything in your life until you make a decision and commitment to yourself to change.

A final word…is my life perfect? Nothing is perfect, but I am perfectly in love. Do I still struggle with my self-esteem? Yes. It’s like any addictive behavior. When you are addicted to self-abusive behavior, it’s something you must keep in check. However, I do love myself and I don’t talk to myself as I used to. I also believe I deserve love and respect.
Do I still struggle with my weight? Yes. That disease will be a life-long struggle. Just like an alcoholic, I have to take it one day at a time.

I encourage you to work towards the best relationship that you deserve. Read, study, but most of all learn about you and affirm yourself. I wish you a great journey in life, love and happiness.

Thank you for reading about me and my life. I hope it helped you in some way gain a better understanding of yourself and perhaps take a step to start changing your life and the way you are loved and love. Blessings, Jaci Rae

Jaci Rae’s grit and determination have brought her from an impoverished childhood to a career as an award-winning singer, No. 1 best-selling author and entrepreneur who has toured around the world. Jaci shares her down-to-earth advice as the relationship advisor/expert/dating coach for igniteromance.com, savvymiss.com, lovingyou.com, loveisgreat.com and lsinglescafe.net

She is the author of The Indie Guide to Music, Marketing and Money, as well as Winning Points With The Woman In Your Life One Touchdown At A Time, Shop for a Day with Jaci Rae How to Get Almost Anything for Free (not published yet) and Collista’s Search for the True Meaning of Christmas (not published yet).

Jaci spends her spare time working on her music, writing and hanging out with family and friends. For more information, go to

christmaswithlove.com christmaswithlove.com

shopforaday.com shopforaday.com or

jacirae.com jacirae.com

About.com Dating Guide lists Jaci’s book, Winning Points With The Woman In Your Life One Touchdown At A Time in the top six of all time dating / relationship books.

Whom to invite to a wedding is something of a diplomatic relation job. Some people do it in a workman like manner.

The groom is asked to provide a list of his preferred guests, with their address and phone number. A similar list is worked out by the bride. If parents are actually going to be involved, the parents of the bride and groom will provide another list of their preferred guests.

Eventually the the four lists are reviewed for duplication, at which time the real job begins. Now it is a matter of making sure that while the list is paired down to accommodate a realistic number of guests, it will reflect the real desires of all concerned. While it sounds simple enough, it never is.

If, for example, the groom’s side of the family has, and wants to invite three times as many guests as the bride’s side of the family, it’s a question of shall we have a huge wedding at which most of the guests belong to the groom’s side, or shall we have a small wedding which will represent equally each side of the family. This is, of course, when money is no object and the situation only requires the choice to be made clear.

Weddings in the early days tended to be much simpler, and often didn’t require any invitations as we understand them. Since communities were small, it was inevitable that everyone in the district knew when a marriage was a foot.

That being the case, people would not be so foolhardy as to hold a wedding without inviting all their neighbours. They could hardly expect their neighbour to forget the omission when the neighbour’s daughter married the next year.

Even if your neighbours were the type of people you didn’t particularly want to cultivate as friends, since travel was not a matter of jump on a plane and be there an hour later, if you didn’t have your neighbours over to celebrate with you, you’d end up with no guests at all.

So, in effect, a wedding in the district was assumed to be the district’s wedding, and everyone was automatically invited by virtue of living in the district. There was no formal invitation. People just arrived. And if it trapspired that on the day you found that your guests weren’t as many as you hoped for, you might send your servants out to all the the local establishments and invite perfect strangers to come and have some free beer instead of having to pay for it.

The emphasis was not so much on who you invited, but that you used your celebration as a sort of announcement of your good fortune to all and sundry.

Vlady Peters is an Australian Civil Marriage Celebrant authorized to perform marriages in Australia. She also performs general ceremonies such as Baby Naming, Renewal of Vows and Commitment Ceremonies. To learn more about Vlady, visit her at weddings-celebrant.com weddings-celebrant.com

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So, you’ve signed up to a couple of dating sites and have actually found a few people you’d like to get to know better… maybe even date. What do you do now?

Well, you can put up your profile and wait for someone to contact you, but you’ll probably get much better results if you take the initiative. When you find someone interesting and feel the urge to say “Hey”, don’t be bashful! That person may just love to hear from you. After all, they created a profile, just like you, in hopes of meeting someone. You definitely won’t know unless you contact them and find out.

Ladies, don’t be shy – men love to be pursued!

How do you initiate contact?

The most common ways to contact someone is with an email, an instant message, or a ‘wink’.

I recommend saving the instant messaging until you’ve exchanged a few emails because it gives you more time to think about what you are going to say and to get a feel for the other person. Once you get more familiar with each other, then you can start chatting.

If you don’t have a paid membership, you’ll most likely be limited to using ‘winks’ or ’smiles’ or something similar. These are canned messages that will say something like “Nancy is interested in you” or “Joe winked at you”. Winks and smiles are a quick way to say hello but drastically limit your ability to pique someone’s interest. This puts a lot of pressure on having a terrific profile because it will have to do all of your talking for you.

Email is best in the beginning.

Emailing a potential date is a lot like flirting. The purpose of the first email is to get them to respond, to open a dialogue. You want to get their interest but leave it open ended so that they will respond back to you. Keep your emails short and charming. Another tip: don’t send a barrage of emails to one person, follow their pace and try to keep up. (If they send 4 a week, you send 4 or so a week.)

So How Do You Write That First Email?

When replying to personal ads, try to be, well, personable. Write at least a paragraph or two about yourself and what you like about them or their personal ad. Many of the principles of profile writing apply to email, such as staying positive, being honest, and paying close attention to spelling and grammar.

Meeting someone online is very exciting and can make you feel like a love struck teenager, but do your best not to sound like one. Most of us are looking for someone that is a little more mature, someone that has potential for being a lifetime partner. When you first start communicating with a person, there is nothing wrong with flirtation, being happy, and laughing, but make sure it’s not over the top. Also, don’t start by pouring out your soul, telling him or her all about your ex-spouse or ex-significant other. Avoid talking about personal things such as financial problems, health issues, or stories about your dysfunctional family. This is a huge turnoff, and an excellent way to scare someone away. Save that kind of talk for your Thursday night poker game or day at the hairdresser. If you are a single parent, a little bit of conversation about your kids is fine to break the ice and find common ground, but remember you are trying to build a romantic connection, so keep it too a minimum.

Always be honest!

If the relationship moves forward, the truth will come out eventually. It’s far better to be yourself up front rather than tell a silly lie in the beginning, only to be found out and have a potential relationship fall apart.

Keep it positive!

The last thing anyone wants is to send a message to someone and in the response, hear all about their past failed relationships, health problems, or financial woes. You can share the doom and gloom after you get to know each other a little bit. Or better yet, just put all that stuff behind you and move on. There’s no time like the present to start fresh!

Compliment something you found interesting in their profile.

This is where it’s important to read the person’s profile. It gives you things to talk about. For example, if you are a woman and you find a man interesting and he has Labrador dogs just like you, you could say something like, “Hi. My name is Mary and I noticed in your profile that you have Labs. I do too!” From there, give a brief description of your dog, mention that you would enjoy hearing back, and sign off.

Avoid overtly sexual comments.

Don’t come on too strong at first with sexual innuendos and try not to comment on the person’s photo. Find something a little more ‘deep’ to comment on, maybe something they said in their description.

Find a way to continue the communication.

The main point of the first email is to get them to notice you and to respond back to you. Don’t give up too much information, but tell them enough to get them interested. You are trying to get a conversation going, so asking questions is a good idea, as long as you don’t ask too many.

Mention things you have in common, and ask a question or two about them.

For example, when you first start messaging with someone, you could ask, “Did you do anything fun this week?” “Do you have any great plans for the weekend?” This will help you learn more about the person without seeming nosey. After you have been communicating with someone special for a while, you can use innocent questions to see if you can find an opening in time when the two of you might meet.

Try to avoid long letters with little details that might be considered boring.

Keep it to the point, but try to let your personality shine through. Then, a good rule of thumb is “compliments and questions.” An earnest compliment on the person’s accomplishments, writing style, or life goals will say a lot.

Here are a couple of good, ice-breaking starter topics:
If you live in the same area, comment on the area, or something relating to it. If you don’t live in the same area, you can ask questions about where they are. Music and movies are also a good conversation-starter; most everyone likes some kind of music or movie. Maybe you went to the same college or better yet, a rival school. Poking fun at rival schools is always a fun way to break the ice. And sign your real first name…
If you work this right, the person will contact you back. Remember, even if you get a response, you’ll have to keep their interest. In the emails that follow, keep asking questions and keep complimenting (while remaining honest and positive). When you feel comfortable, you can move on to more intimate forms of communication like instant messaging, the telephone, and eventually, meeting in person.

If a day goes by and you haven’t heard from them, rather than inundate the individual’s mailbox with messages, leave one short, sweet message that provides a small hint to prompt him or her to reply.

Remember…

Don’t give out your full name, personal email address, or phone number in this initial email; wait until you’re both interested and it’s apparent that it’s going somewhere.

Wait. Get more great articles like this one at askdanandjennifer.com/” target=”_blank AskDanAndJennifer.com Ask Dan and Jennifer your most pressing questions on Dating, Relationships, Love, and Sex, and take a sneak peak at what others are asking.

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If you are planning to get married in Las Vegas, the wedding options available to you are as vast and unique as the city itself. You can have a traditional wedding, themed wedding, Elvis wedding, or a drive thru wedding. Then there are the destination weddings. Lake Las Vegas, Red Rock Canyon, Mount Charleston, Valley of Fire, and Lake Mead are all popular Las Vegas wedding destinations. While planning your Las Vegas wedding, you will certainly have many packages to choose from. When researching them all, you may want to take a closer look at what Las Vegas Hotels have to offer for wedding packages.

Many people don’t realize that many Las Vegas hotels offer more than just chapel weddings. Many of them offer a variety of other wedding ceremony locations in addition to their wedding chapels. Poolside weddings, for example, are offered by many Las Vegas hotels. If you envisioned an outdoor wedding in a serene setting, a Las Vegas poolside wedding may be something you will want to consider. The Aladdin Hotel, MGM Grand, and Sahara Hotel are just a few of the Las Vegas hotels that offer poolside weddings. The Paris Las Vegas Hotel offers them as well but with a unique twist…their pool is on top their roof.

Las Vegas hotels also provide some really breathtaking wedding sites with amazing views. At the Stratosphere Hotel, you can say I do at the top of the Tower 800 feet above the ground on their outdoor observation deck. At the Bellagio, you can get married on a terrace overlooking their lake and fountain show. And the Paris Las Vegas Hotel offers weddings on their Eiffel Tower observation deck overlooking the Las Vegas Strip.

If you want an outdoor garden wedding, Las Vegas hotels offer plenty of garden wedding venues to choose from. The Flamingo Hotel offers five outdoor garden locations including two which have gazebos and two which feature breathtaking waterfalls. Caesars Palace offers three outdoor wedding sites including one which features a pond and fountains. The Tropicana Resort offers an outdoor gazebo in the midst of a lush tropically landscaped garden area. And the Wynn Las Vegas, one of Las Vegas’ newest hotels, offers a secluded outdoor courtyard with trees and fountains.

If you want something unusual, Las Vegas hotels offer plenty of unique wedding packages as well. The Riviera Hotel offers weddings on the Stratosphere’s roller coaster or at the famous Vegas sign. The Las Vegas Hilton offers Star Trek Weddings on the USS Enterprise at their Star Trek Experience exhibit. And Treasure Island offers a wedding package that includes a ceremony aboard their giant pirate ship.

Do your research when planning your Las Vegas wedding. There are a lot of wonderful wedding packages to choose from in this exciting city so you should have no problem finding one that offers the atmosphere that you envisioned for your special day.

Rebecca Johnson is owner of Las Vegas Wedding Informer, a website that offers lasvegasweddinginformer.com/ lasvegasweddinginformer.com/ Las Vegas wedding planning information. Visit it for help finding the right lasvegasweddinginformer.com/hotel_wedding_chapels lasvegasweddinginformer.com/hotel_wedding_chapels Vegas wedding package for your wedding.

In life I think it’s fair to say that women drew the short straw enduring monthly periods, PMT, giving birth and the menopause; all producing more hormones than she, and anyone within arms length distance, can cope with.

But if she is 30 something and single the joy of being a woman doesn’t stop there! She is in a race against time to meet a man (preferably sexy!), fall in love, get him to fall in love her, move in together, get married, have a baby (the latter two in no particular order as long as they happen!) and live happily ever after.

The reality though is that many women diarise “settling down” for their early 30s; devoting their 20s to getting a career, travelling, socialising and having fun. There are also the ones who, despite actively dating in search of their perfect partner since early adulthood, simply haven’t found “the one”.

After revelling in her 20s footloose and fancy free, from the day she hits 30 her carefree attitude screeches to an abrupt halt; Mother Nature is suddenly occupying all her thoughts and her biological clock is ticking getting faster and louder as each day, month and year passes still with no sign of “the one” entering her life.

Of course, for the 30 something single men of the world this is not a concern; nature gave them the choice to put fatherhood on hold, worry free, until their 40s, 50s even 60s. So is this why 30 something women find a gap in the dating scene and are unable to find someone of a similar age to settle down with? Are the 30 something men busy dating but staying single until later in life because they know that when the time is right (for them) reproducing won’t be a problem?

It’s a sad fact that society portrays 30 something single men and women completely different. 30 something single women are labelled “out of date goods left on the shelves” whereas 30 something single men are given a pat on the back and told to enjoy their freedom while they can. Although TV programmes like Sex in the City and Desperate Housewives have helped to change peoples opinions of single women over 30, the fact remains that if she wants children the natural way (i.e. without a sperm donor) she needs a man.

So with no sight of a man on the horizon, she feels under pressure not only from herself but also from those around her to get on the dating scene and meet the father-to-be of her children. Her parents will say, “Why can’t she meet a good man and settle down?” her friends will say, “Shall we fix her up on a date with [John]?” and then there are the sniggering colleagues who will say, “She must be a lesbian!”

Whilst some of them may have her best interests at heart, she should not feel forced into a relationship to please everyone else. The problem she faces however is that, as a woman of the world, she knows exactly what qualities she is looking for in her partner and her standards are set so high that the men she dates often don’t make the grade.

What she may have to do therefore is accept that not everyone is perfect and compromise on her “tick list”. She needs to put things in perspective and ask herself if it really matters that he doesn’t own a flash car or that he wears awful shoes. (It can sometimes be non-important things why women will reject a man.) She should also be careful not to discuss marriage and babies in the early dating stages; men are aware that a women in her 30s is looking for someone to father her children and if she comes across desperate, she will have most men running for the hills!

Ok, so she knows what she wants and she’s willing to compromise but where will a 30 something single woman meet the love of her life? Is it at work, through friends, in a bar/club, at a party or an online dating agency?

Whilst it is recommended to explore all methods of dating in order to increase your opportunities, not all of them will appeal to everyone. Take a 35 year old friend of mine for instance whom recently became single. It’s not that she didn’t want to settle down in her 20s, she just didn’t meet the right man. She has, however, reached the conclusion that the likelihood of meeting someone in a bar or club who is potential “marriage material” is highly unlikely.

Whilst the majority of the 30 something single men she meets are happy to flirt, probably even happier to take her to bed, they do not want to commit to a relationship and jeopardise their freedom. Other rejects consist of men already in relationships looking for no strings fun or toy boys looking to put an older woman notch on their bedpost.

Only recently she dated someone whom she met in a bar who told her he was 27 years old (still younger than her but an acceptable age she thought). If I say that they became intimate very quickly, you’ll know what I mean! Whilst this was not something she would normally do, she felt a connection and it had been a while so she thought “Hell, why not!” Afterwards, she felt it only right to tell him her age. “You do know how old I am don’t you?” she asked. “About 26/27?” he replied.” (He certainly knew where his bread was buttered!), “No, I’m 35″. “Well I suppose it’s only fair I’m honest with you too “, he continued, “I’m actually only 19″. “19!” she exclaimed. Immediately there was no future in this relationship and her hopes of finding “the one” had once again been dashed.

Turn the tables round (him 35, her 19) and it could have been a different story…. but that’s for another day.

If you are experiencing similar problems finding a partner, why not give online dating a try? You will find men and women of all ages whose profiles will provide details of their age and whether they are looking for fun, love or marriage so you know from the start if you both have the same goals.

Alison Edwards runs SnappyDates.com/ SnappyDates.com/ a UK based dating site.
Registration is free.

Your goal is our aim: SnappyDates – Snappy Results!

Copyright © 2005 Dorado Enterprises Limited – All Rights Reserved.
Permission to reprint this article is granted if the article is reproduced in its entirety, without editing, including the bio information. Please include a hyperlink to SnappyDates.com/ SnappyDates.com/ when using this article in newsletters or online.

This sounds a different kind of title – Do You Understand your Lover? Doesn’t everybody do? Sadly not many of us understand our partners fully. If we had understood our lovers, the rates of separations and divorces would have gone down substantially instead of increasing. You may ask- if I don’t understand my lover than how are we so good partners? Why he/she enjoys me? Why are we together? Let me talk about these.

What does it mean by understanding? It is again a difficult question. Knowing about likes and dislikes does not mean understanding. To understand means to know the values, the life goals and the priorities of a person. To understand means to know what incidences made what impacts on that person. To understand means – you will be able to predict the reaction of your partner at a crucial moment. Can you do that with surety?

In the beginning of our relationship, we all talk about good things of life. Our focus is more to please our partner. Our focus is to get more pleasure in their company. we never think about the underlying psychological motivators at that time. After the relationship develop little further, we find that many times we get baffled by what our partner says and vice-versa. That side of his/her character we never knew. If this is something, we can accept easily, we will forget about it, or fissures will develop at this juncture.

Not many partners are totally honest with each other about their deepest thoughts, desires and fears. If I fear that you may one day leave me, because I doubt your long term loyalty, will I ever tell you about that fear? Such hidden thoughts create a wall between the partners that can be never crossed. Only few manage to break it. Once you do that and tell everything about yourself and your thoughts and get to know everything about your partner, the relationship will grow stronger. These kinds of relationships were common in the earlier days but are rare now.

CDMohatta writes articles on Relationships, love, Divorce, Dating and other related issues of life. Please read articles from

You may be in a loving relationship, but, sometimes you forget the important little things that enable you to romance your partner from the heart. Sure, you can say, “I love you,” that’s all too easy, but, have you found that all those wonderful, romantic ideas have recently escaped you?

If so why not see the difference a day can make – indeed, why not see what difference a week could make to your relationship, if you follow some of the loving ideas to show your spouse that you really are a true romantic.

The following is an idea of how you could spend a loving week, without spending a fortune!

On day one, leave a note professing your love and leave it in a place your partner can find it easily. Try their briefcase, the driver’s seat of their car, in their coat pocket, in their lunch bag, taped to the receiver of the phone, taped to their computer, or left taped to a doorknob. Then as soon as you arrive home for the day seek out your spouse and give them a big, loving kiss. Tell your partner how much you love them and ask about their day. Make this a new, daily habit.

On day two, while your partner showers, heat up their towel in the dryer or over the radiator. Then arrange to have some flowers their place of work. When you come home surprise them by bringing with you their favourite drink, a book by their favourite author or a CD by their favourite artist

On day three you could arrange an intimate lunch date, or if time is an issue, just meet up fro lunch in a local pub. Afterwards you could send a virtual card saying how much your enjoyed lunch together.

The following day you could phone your partner at work and tell them of your romantic plans for the evening. Then get home ahead of your partner, cook a special meal and lay the table with your best cutlery, crockery and crystal glasses. You can further enhance your table with candles and flowers.

No doubt your spouse will be delighted by this by you can surprise them further if when they come home the next night to find a large multi-coloured heart drawn on your drive with the words, “I love you” in the middle. If romance is riding high as it should be you could take your partner to your favourite restaurant for a truly romantic meal.

For the first day of the weekend, weather permitting, take a slow relaxing walk through the woods and tell your partner just how much they mean to you and why it is they are so special.

If weather is not on your side consider and an indoor picnic. Spend the time together, inside enjoying your favorite board games, listening to music and just relaxing and talking. As evening draws in cuddle up on your settee watching a romantic movie together.

On your last day before you return to work, sleep in and cuddle up together. Make a long list of the many reasons why you love your partner as you do and then have them framed and present it to them as a special gift.

Remember little things DO mean a lot.

“Should the sun refuse to shine, should romance run out of rhyme; you alone will hold my heart — now until the very end of time.”
- Verses of Love

By Roger Bourdon Email: mailto:rogerbourdon@gmail.com rogerbourdon@gmail.com

Author of “Secrets of a Happy Marriage Revealed” to be found at direct.horizon-homesellers.com/marriagestart.htm direct.horizon-homesellers.com/marriagestart.htm

My other main sites: Investment Property – propertyprofits4you.com propertyprofits4you.com

Internet Marketing – horizondirectservices.com horizondirectservices.com

Many people believe in love at first site. They believe that in an instant, they will know who they should be with for the rest of their lives. Unfortunately, these unrealistic expectations often end in divorce.

On the other hand, some couples spend 10 or 15 years getting to know each other before marriage. They’ll live together, make major purchases, and even have children, before making a commitment to get married. Unfortunately, many of these marriages also end in divorce because even though they committed with their heads (and maybe even their hearts) the couple didn’t know how to make a soul commitment.

Finally, some people go along being unhappily single. They desire to be married, but they find themselves playing games and dating without setting realistic personal goals for their future.

Maybe you’re one of the people I’ve mentioned above. You’re in a relationship (or your waiting for one), and you’re wondering, “Is this it? Have I really found my soulmate?”

What if I told you that knowing your soulmate has more to do with knowing who you are and your level of commitment, rather than finding the “perfect match” to complete you?

I bring this up because I came across a book entitled Sacred Marriage: What If God Designed Marriage to Make Us Holy More Than to Make Us Happy? It made me think about how true soulmate relationships are formed: God prepares each individual and brings them to a point where their souls can effectively be knitted together for His purposes.

With this thought in mind, here are three ways for you to recognize your soulmate:

1. The communication between the two of you is transparent. “In his excellent book, Why Am I Afraid to Tell You Who I Am?, John Powell describes the five levels of communication: cliche, fact opinion, emotion, and transparency.”– From Starting Your Marriage Right, by Dennis and Barbara Rainey.

Transparent communication means you and your partner can move beyond the cliches, facts, opinions, and emotions to a level where you are both vulnerable, but where truth prevails in your relationship. Transparency doesn’t come quickly for most people, but when it does, freedom is not far behind. Transparency comes only with courage, nonjudgemental attitudes, and most importantly, trust. And this leads me to my next point.

2. You and your soulmate will trust each other completely. That means you don’t have to wonder if your loved one is doing something inappropriate, without thought to your wellbeing, or without sound judgment. Trust comes when words and actions line up to form a coherent picture of the person you love.

3. You and your soulmate know the meaning of unconditional love. One may say, “Keishia, how can you believe in such a concept in this day in age? This kind of love never happens in real life.” I’m here to say that it does. If you’ve read some of my other articles, you’ll note all of the things that must be stripped from a person’s character (selfishness, pride, and jealousy) in order to get there. We can’t get there by our own will, but rather by God’s grace and by understanding His nature. No matter how hard we try to do it in our own strength and conviction, leaning on divine intervention is the only way to rid ourselves of these three character flaws.

Ultimately successful soulmates aren’t just born at some point in time or space to hook up by sheer coincidence. They are made over time to be with each other for a lifetime. If you’re wondering where yours is, look inward and upward and you’re bound to discover more than what you’ve been seeking.

Keishia Lee-Louis is the Editor of Married4Good.com Married4Good.com (Launching November 2005). Her work has appeared on iVillage.com, BibleResourceCenter.com, and in numerous other publications. Currently, she is writing a book on marriage and relationships(Spring 2006). If you’d like to see more of her work, visit married4good.blogspot.com married4good.blogspot.com

Sex is your right, how you want to express yourself sexually is your business and what you do in your room with your toys is your business. That’s not what this article is about. You also have the responsibility to make sure that sex is safe, consensual, and a pleasure for everyone involved. Here are some tips to guide you through the initial conversation to the intimate moment:

Talk about sex. Talk about birth control and testing. It’s uncomfortable at first, but if you’re not mature enough to talk a bout something that could change your life, keep it in your pants (or under your skirt.) And use two forms of contraception if available. One is great, you win the prize, but if you have a condom and she has spermicidal gel, well hey, it was meant to be-use both.

Sex is only good for everyone when it is consensual. If you are loaded, it’s not consensual, if you are a little tipsy, that’s another matter, but take into consideration how much she’s had to drink before you ask her, and how much you’ve had can inhibit Mr. Happy so much that he won’t even come out. If she says no and you keep at her until you wear her down, how much fun is that going to be, really? You’ll regret it, so take the first no for an answer and move on from there. Same goes for drugs. The use of date rape drugs or “rufies” has gone down considerably in the last few years, but it’s still out there. Passed out is not consenting.

Women going out for the evening should travel in packs, there is safety in numbers. I’m not so rigid that I think if you came together that you should necessarily leave together, but do each other the courtesy of making sure no one is left to fend for themselves or go home alone-I mean leave the club alone. Ladies, make sure that you have each other’s cell phone numbers if you can.

Are you aware of the EC or emergency contraception pill? You can take it within 72 hours after intercourse and it will prevent pregnancy. It is for emergencies only though, like if the condom breaks or you wake up the next morning and realize you forgot to take your pill.

And hey, there’s always abstinence for preventing the spread of sexually transmitted diseases. No? How about oral sex instead? You can be safe and use a dental dam or a condom if you’d like, but oral sex is the safest kind of contact sex you can have. Make sure both you don’t have cuts or open sores on or in your mouths, (for instance, don’t give anyone head if you’ve just gotten out of the dentist.)

Sexual health should be a priority, so get checked often and make sure your partner (s) do the same. Stay clean, stay alert, and stay healthy.

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Shayla Moore is a writer for oasislingerie.com oasislingerie.com She has many intresting topics and ideas for all to read about. Check out more of her articles.