The following is an abridged version of the complete feature available in the StraightRazr eBook, “Revealing the Secret to the Greatest Ice Breaker Ever.”

The eBook contains detailed material to help you master these eight components. They are provided here for you in their most basic terms.

Well, actually 8 things right away in the ice breaker stage to build attraction.

The rest will take care of itself.

The 8 components of building attraction are:

1. Interest/Something Unique/Offbeat
2. Challenge
3. Testing/Confidence
4. Excitement
5. Playful sexual intrigue
6. Appropriate intimacy
7. Comfort.
8. Humor.

1. Interest/Something Unique/Offbeat

Women by nature are perceptive creatures. They are aware of their surroundings, and modern women have a pretty high threshold of boredom. By all that I mean if you were to look at what appeals to them as a continuum – on one extreme you’ll find lame and boring topics – weather, work, how expensive things are, your family, blah blah blah. On the other extreme are things too emotionally upsetting to talk about – death, murder, crime, geeky/creepy stuff. Either extreme will not grab or retain a woman’s interest. In the middle is the sweetspot, (a term used in golf to describe the best spot of the club that gives you the greatest contact with the ball) – something familiar enough to not be weird or uncomfortable, and yet unique enough to peak their interest.

So find topics and items to discuss that aren’t lame and boring on one end – creepy or scarey on the other.

2. Challenge

Women love to be challenged. If they have an opinion, challenge it. If they act like they are know it alls – confident in their appearance, attire, discussion, attitude – tweak it. A part of them cannot resist being put to the test. But beware! Its also a signal to them that its ‘game on’ and they will challenge you right back. Perhaps tease you, insult you – they may do this up front – you need to be ready to respond with a shrug, without overeacting.

3. Testing/Confidence

You pass the test and demonstrate confidence by being in control of the situation – no matter whats thrown at you, you can handle it. It conveys strength, calm, humor – very endearing qualities to women.

4. Excitement

Sort of goes back to the first point – women look for excitement, playful excitement. They want to be where the action is – dynamics going one way – you throw them a curve ball. Hey look at this – its unique and different. Hey someones laughing over there – someones having a great time! You need to be one of those guys having a good time, by giving others a good time. Change your own frame – instead of going out with ‘Im looking for some action’ painted on your forehead, put yourself in the frame of ‘My goal is to make a woman smile.’ Excitement builds interest, interest builds attraction. The best way to build excitement, the release of emotional energy, is to make them smile with anticipation and a little anxiety.

New interactions are filled with anxiety by their nature. Use that anxiety to your advantage!

5. Playful Sexual Intrigue

Sexual intrigue is a great theme to dealve into. Many guys think of sex and think of raunchy explicit terms and themes. Its been said that women are in many ways even more sexual in nature then men – however their frame comes in the form of implicit, smoldering, teasing, themes of reproduction. Think of this frame – again use it to your advantage.

Sexual intrigue is a fantastic thing to build with a woman. And again it can be done playfully – in this vein Im referring really to a verbal exchange – the things you say which may seem innocent enough, and with props that appear endearing enough, but may hold some other meaning entirely.

I find it very useful to imply things, and let the women talk explicitly. You keep your language tame – let her get raunchy. Its all part of the fun.

6. Appropriate Intimacy

These steps are unique in that they engage your interaction physically. Much talk has been put out about whether or not it’s a good idea to touch a woman early on in your interactions. The great thing about these three steps is that they all engage a woman physically – however they do so in a way that’s again not threatening, teasing, careful yet confident. All very endearing, charming qualities to subcommunicate right out of the shoot.

Intimacy here is the touching of a woman’s hand – done gracefully, assuringly. Done right – trust me you will have more hands in your face than you will know what to do with.

I modify the term ‘intimacy’ with ‘appropriate’ because here again it needs to strike a balance – too much physical contact, unwanted or agressive – communicates anger, hostility, even violence which will scare or put off a woman. Please dont be scarey.

7. Comfort

Comfort here actually means a lot of different things – first off these routines give you an ‘out’ if you’re in real trouble (angry boyfriend comes up), woman is married and her husband is cool with it but yeah he’s there and she’s still married, the girl is absolutely a dull or on the other extreme so weird and crazy that there’s no way to connect. So in that way these steps ensure you comfort in mind and body to get in and out of a situation relatively clean.

The second way as it applies to you as well – in that these techniques give you an opportunity to really size up what kind of woman you’re dealing with. Is she responsive and open to the interaction? Hostile? Or as you progress – does she have a good sense of humor, is she fun loving or lame? Does she test you so much that its simply not worth that much effort? Remember especially in a bar – there are always new opportunities. While its overboard to work a room table to table (looking like some cheesy showman), you are in charge of your reality – you can close at the end of a trick, 30 seconds in and move on without any grief. Ive got super endings that leave an interactions pleasant enough and clean enough for you to move on. No hard feelings. This is very powerful for you as you assess your options.

The third – is about her. These steps subcommunicate yeah I’m going to tease you, have some fun with you, but I wont hurt you. I wont embarrass or humiliate you in a way that will really upset you.

8. Humor

Humor is universally engaging, entertaining. Again the three steps I will layout for you provide you with humor that while suggestive is not explicit, not crude – things that instantly turnoff almost all women. Humor that’s good natured, not pushy but done in a relaxing-yet-engaging way is very powerful, and something for you to seek out in your interactions.

Look at any female online dating profile – almost all will say they are looking for a man with a sense of humor. Another note on humor – its got to be conveyed almost immediately. Think of a comedian’s act – they say its imperative to have a great joke out of the shoot – like within the first 30 seconds to start their routine. In this vein a joke out within the first 30 seconds will sub communicate ‘hey-this guys got a sense of humor’ – then sprinkling jokes and teasing jibes in every now and again maintains that quality for you.

Mastering these 8 components right up front will communicate the most endearing qualities about you.

- Razr
GreatestIceBreakerEver.com/” target=”_new www.GreatestIceBreakerEver.com

About Razr

With a background in entertainment, illustration, life coaching, marketing and web technology, Razr is one of the primary authors behind StraightRazr.com, living in the Bay Area.

Razr has mastered successful approaching techniques as a nightclub walkaround entertainer and psychic, and shares many of his decoding secrets through StraightRazr’s lifestyle coaching program for men.

Razr is a Certified Conscious Dating Coach; adding even greater insight to his unique, clear-cut perspective on attire, physical and emotional health as they relate to successful relationships.

For more information, visit StraightRazr.com/” target=”_new StraightRazr.com

Once you’ve built up the confidence of approaching and meeting women what’s the next step? Knowing where to go of course! If you haven’t a clue as to where to meet women, then check out some of the hot spots below. These are places that you always knew about but you didn’t think of meeting women there.

The Club or Pub
Night spots are always a good place to pick up girls. Chances are the girls there want to be picked up too! If you enjoy the night life then this is the best place for you to pick up girls. Just don’t get suckered by women who are just interested in your money and the free flow of drinks you are providing.

Sports Clubs Or Activity Classes
Sports clubs or places like yoga classes are great places to pick up girls. Meeting women here is easy and you will have a high chance of finding interesting women who actually share your same interests. Because of this the process of picking them up is made easier as you will have much to talk about. It’s also easy to ask for dates because you can always suggest a meal after class or a drink to discuss the day’s lessons.

The Library
This place isn’t as boring as you think and you can actually pick up girls here. The main thing you have to remember is that there are always more women than men at the library and that not all of them are busy and dedicated to their work. And even if they are, they sure could use a break every once in a while. This is of course where you step in. One way to meet them is to take interest in what she is doing and get her to open up and talk to you about it. As you know, women love talking so take the opportunity to build up a rapport while they are talking your ear off about the subject.

The Shopping Mall
One of the best places to start meeting women is surprisingly your local mall. Or should I say not so surprisingly? After all its women who love to shop and where else would they flock? The thing is that while men are hanging out at the malls it would cross their minds that “That girl looks hot” but it never occurs to them that they should make a move because before this, picking up girls was reserved exclusively for places like the pub. Well it’s time to change this mentality and figure out that the mall is actually a great place for meeting women!

Visit datingartist.com datingartist.com now to get more FREE tips to double your dating success overnight! Discover the players’ secrets to meeting, dating & seducing women.

“Breaking up is hard to do…” Such a catchy song, and completely true. Unless your relationship has played out like an episode of “Blind Date” then you know that no matter how long you have been involved, breaking up is never an easy thing. There are a few rules to follow though, that can soften the blow of a break-up and can keep the end of a relationship from feeling like an international incident.

First and foremost be forthcoming! If you have found someone else who has really caught your interest and you want to pursue something with that woman, then let your current girlfriend know that. Don’t make up excuses such as, “I need to find myself”, or “I am really craving some alone time.” Both of those excuses are b.s. and every woman knows it. It also keeps a scene from happening if your ex finds you at a bar with another woman after you broke up with her for some “alone time to find yourself.”

This leads me directly to my next point. Do not, I repeat DO NOT cheat on your girlfriend. If you and her had made the decision to be mutually exclusive then you need to have enough respect for her to not be cheating. “Hell hath no wrath like a woman’s scorn”, if you ever want to bring down fire and brimstone on your own head, cheat on your woman. Not only will she make your life hell for a short time (which can feel like an eternity), but the girl that you are currently seeing will know that you are a cheater, and all girls are told by their mothers that once a cheater, always a cheater. It is simply best to avoid this whole mess by being upfront.

If you have date a woman a while, and especially if you are dating a woman that lives near you, you owe it to her to break up with her in person. Do not after a long term relationship call her and break up with her voicemail. You did not have sex with her answering machine, voicemail, or computer, so do not end your relationship with her on those machines, even if you did meet her there. Some exceptions can be made if your relationship is a long distance one, being that a flight or long drive just to end a relationship seems a little silly. But, even if your relationship is a long distance one you still should get as close as you can to breaking up in person. This means a phone call break up, again, not an IM or voicemail break up.

Along with the “in person” break up goes with this rule of thumb. Do no break up with a woman in a public place. You may want to avoid a big scene, but all you will do is create an audience for your big scene. Where as most men can control emotions enough to wait and do a freak out when they are home alone, women do not have that tact.
And nothing is worse than having a woman freak out at a nice, quiet restaurant over what should be a romantic dinner.

Also, once you break up with a woman, do no expect her to become a booty call. You cannot break up a relationship and still hope to maintain much of a friendship, especially if the relationship did not start out as a friendship, and you can certainly not expect to be able to call this woman up when you have a dry spell and hope to get a little action. This same idea also applies to breaking up with a woman in the hopes of finding someone better, and then crawling back when you don’t find someone better. If the reason that you are breaking up with someone you genuinely feel a connection with to go out with someone you think might have potential, do not gravel back to your ex in the hopes of her still pining over you. Besides, graveling makes you lose some of your dignity.

When you have decided that a relationship is not working out, then you should end it as soon as possible. Do not stay in a relationship where you are not happy no matter how sweet, good in bed, attractive, etc. the woman is. At the point in which you are not feeling the relationship anymore then move on. Do not drag on a relationship that is unsatisfying or is not moving to a place where you would like it to move, whether that be moving forward or moving too fast. In a calm, non-exaggeratedly emotional conversation (not a shouting match) honestly explain why you are unhappy in the relationship and let her know that it is over. Don’t end on a “let’s just be friends”, “if it’s meant to be, it will be”, “I love you, I’m just not in love with you” note. These are lame, overused, and untrue phrases and as a mature adult it is best to be forward and honest. Doing so allows you and her to reflect in your own mind what you are really after within the confines of a relationship and this reflection on both of your parts will allow for a better pursuit of happiness in another relationship.

Chet Rowland is the author of several courses and dvds on online dating for men. For more information and a free course on meeting women visit chetsdatingsystem.com chetsdatingsystem.com

There’s a lot of talk about “approach anxiety”, and for good reason. It has been optimistically estimated that over 80% of all men are terrified of approaching attractive women they have ever met. And let’s face it: without overcoming this fear it’s all but impossible for a man to experience any success whatsoever in meeting great women, let alone attracting and keeping them.

Most of the information I’ve read on the subject centers around teaching men to sack up and “get over it”, using any manner of Jedi mind tricks designed to help us “deal with rejection”, “visualize success”, use “indirect openers”, etc. But I’ve read relatively little on the subject that dives beyond the surface of the issue. Most of us are or were at some point in our lives afraid to approach women. Instead of being given a pep talk, I’d rather know WHY we as men are almost universally affected by this, and HOW we fell into this trap. From that position of understanding, it makes sense that we can better figure how to dig ourselves out.

And it is absolutely a trap. It’s an irrational fear for a man to be “afraid” of women. After all, most of us as men are not catatonic basket cases sucking our thumbs in a fetal position when it comes to other aspects of our lives. We play football in high school. We go downhill mountain biking, surf hurricanes, get concealed weapon licenses, street race muscle cars, ask customers for high-dollar sales orders, train pit bulls, get full-sleeve tattoos, do third-gear wheelies on GSXR-1000s and remove offending garden snakes from backyard sheds. Some of us even DAYDREAM about things like making high-pressure 20-foot putts for birdie on the 18th green at Augusta National.

Yet, we cannot bring ourselves to go talk to an interesting woman at a bar, an airport or even in our own dormitory at college.

To further underscore how bizarre this phenomenon gets, I remember running with a crowd primarily composed of United States Marines back when I lived in Yuma, Arizona. We’d park our sportbikes somewhere to grab a bite, see an attractive woman and NOT ONE OF US would talk to her. We’re talking about guys who had VOLUNTEERED to risk their lives for this country, and furthermore had just finished a pavement blistering canyon run five minutes before.

What is going on here?

Here it is: it’s not the WOMEN themselves we are afraid of. It’s our own egos that hamstring us. Allow me to elaborate.

We as men are competitive beings. When we’re out with our buddies it’s one contest after another. That’s all well and good, and we like it that way. But deep in the soul of every man is a mortal repulsion against getting “beat by a girl”. Whether women like it, understand it, think it’s silly and/or can deal with it is actually irrelevant. It’s a fact. The archetypal shame associated with it is wired into our XY genetic code.

Remember back in sixth grade when the girls were maturing and the boys were, well…still looking like little boys? Remember in gym class how some of the girls could run faster and throw harder? It was a drag, wasn’t it? When we as guys got older that problem took care of itself for the most part…except in two notable areas: the business world and, of course, the dating world.

In the business world women are going to get promotions and ascend to positions of power with or without any input from YOU in particular. If a woman “beats” you in that arena, you can either accept it and stick around or find another job.

But dating is another story. The “competition” is mano-a-mano when it comes to approaching a woman. And THAT, my brethren, is where we as men let our egos betray us. We tend to see approaching women as a COMPETITION. If you or I approach a woman with this mindset, we believe someone is going to WIN and someone is going to LOSE. If she REJECTS us, we lose-and we’ve been “beaten by a girl”! And even if we DO get a smile and a phone number, if she doesn’t answer the phone when we call her we STILL are getting “beat by a girl”. Given this situation, it’s a no-brainer to see why most men don’t even bother to talk to women AT ALL. The risks to ones psychological well being are just too great. Getting “beat by a girl” is more painful than crashing and burning anywhere else.

So what’s the solution?

The discussions I’ve heard about reframing the approach so as to involve a QUALIFICATION PROCESS are the closest to hitting the mark. Our problem as guys typically is that we’ve PRE-QUALIFIED women before we’ve even met them based on their looks and/or how they appear to handle themselves from afar. Having already decided we like a woman before even meeting her, the insidious “contest” is on. Every time.

Instead of approaching women with our approval already sewn up, we need to start putting women to the test in the same manner they famously test us.

Men are typically the CHASERS and women the CHOOSERS in this society as a result of how men tend to view this stuff. Men who deserve what they want and who refuse to “settle” need to start raising the bar, refusing to offer up immediate approval to women we meet until they have proven to be as attractive AFTER we meet them as they were BEFORE we met them. Women instinctively evaluate us when we approach them, as we know all too well. It’s time for us to start doing the same-which we have every right to do as fellow human beings.

And look what happens in that case. The “competition” factor has magically been lifted from the scenario. If we haven’t yet reached our own conclusions when we approach a woman, she really can’t “reject” us…or “beat” us, as it were. She can only pass or fail our own evaluation process. And as any man who conducts himself with dignity and refuses to “settle” knows, women who are rude and/or quick to dismiss us thereby fail the qualification process. The principle at play is much the same as when a pushy or otherwise socially inept man fails a woman’s test…as well it should be. It’s as simple as that.

Simple, maybe, but not easy. It may take some time to unlearn the poisonous habit of seeing the approach as a competition. But the fact remains that we as men have the power to view things in the more sober context of mutual evaluation rather than “winning” or “losing”. In doing so we overcome THE major contributor to “approach anxiety”. And I assure you the effort is well worth it.

Strangely enough, the women will even appreciate you MORE as a result. After all, women love real men.

Scot McKay’s dating strategies for those who refuse to settle for anything less than the ULTIMATE relationship are found at: relationship-advice.us/ relationship-advice.us/. Stop by right now and grab a FREE e-book ($20 value) when you sign up for the X & Y Communications Newsletter, which is always packed with unique and practical dating tips.