Peter is sitting at his desk, it’s 10.00pm. His friends are out playing a game of netball, he had to cancel his place, there was just too much work.

Mary is on another flight. She arrived home Friday afternoon and spent the weekend getting ready for the next flight. She broken out in blemishes on her face.

Michael is single. He wasn’t, but the relationship failed some years ago. Now he fears he might be single for life. He’s finding meeting a new lady, a total challenge.

Natalie is exhausted. She’s been working on her business trying to get it off the ground for 5 years. She’s still just a highly paid employee, in fact, sometimes she’s a lowly paid employee, exhausted and worried.

Jane and David are perplexed. They both have amazing careers. Both successful, and the three children are wonderful and happy. But the relationship is on the rocks. They’ve done the therapy thing, but David hated it. They’ve tried all sorts of diversions, adventures, tricks and techniques to get their libido back to where it was, but it’s gone somewhere. It looks like the end, unless they can find the key.

Silvia is 20kg overweight. It started after she had her first baby, those few kg that wouldn’t go away. Now in her early 40’s it is sticking like chewing gum. Obviously her metabolism is changing, and in spite of trying every diet she can get her hands on, she’s still back where she started. What to do? It’s getting to her, she’s feeling depressed and frustrated.

Dane’s business grew so fast he could hardly spend the money he was earning. It grew and grew. Even when he didn’t want it to grow, it grew. He couldn’t put a foot wrong. He bought a fancy car, a new watch, and another new watch, he had holidays and treated his girlfriends to gifts and fine lifestyle. He blames an economic downturn for taking the air out of the balloon, but now, Dane is trying to rebuild the old fortune he lost. He’s investing, but something that he once had is missing. People are not rushing to buy from him anymore. What is it?

Marlene has a lung problem. She smokes and says she has tried to give it up but can’t. The doctor thinks it’s a cancer and now, Marlene plans to sue the tobacco company for causing her to become addicted to smoking.

Jerry has a knee problem. It’s getting worse. All his life he’s noticed that the heals of his shoes wore out on one side more than the other. It has been a nuisance to him mostly because he loves wearing thongs and sandals. He wears his running shoes until the tops fall apart, rarely does he consider that his running shoes are worn out when the innersole starts showing thought the underside of the shoe.

Peter and Cheryl were together for 5 years. They had a beautiful relationship at first. Then, after Cheryl started Yoga classes they drifted apart. Cheryl accused Peter of being unconscious and violent in the way he approached life. She wanted peace and calm. Their children were disappointed when they split but happy to see the end of the conflict.

Maureen has a guru. Maureen loves her guru. Maureen travels to see her guru. Maureen is single. Maureen doesn’t want to be single. Maureen thinks her guru is wonderful. Her guru thinks Maureen is wonderful. Maureen is happy. But Maureen is single and unhappy about that.

Peter is broke. He has no money in the bank and debt on his credit card. Pete spent allot of his money investing in self education and self development. Peter wanted to become a self development guru. So, he spent money on that. But he didn’t follow the teaching of his self development teachers. He simply followed some of their teachings. Choosing to follow the teachings he liked and reject the teachings he didn’t like. So, Peter ended up the way he started. With one exception, now he has less money.

Gerard went to meditation class. He told everyone that his heart had been broken too many times. So he went to a meditation class to find peace. At that meditation class Gerard met a lady. They are in a relationship. The relationship is a dream come true because they don’t argue. But Gerard finds himself interested in other women. He is angry at himself. He always thought he was very spiritual but he can’t stop being interested in other women.

Loraine is in therapy. She gets sad sometimes. Her therapist is working on her childhood and the dysfunction of her childhood. Larraine is still getting sad, but hopes it will change when she blames her father more.

What do all these situations have in common? They are stories of hard work that has resulted from bad management. Situations that could have been avoided if people had managed better. Lets see how.

Hard work is bad management

Lets summarize

Hard work is bad management

Hard work is doing something you don’t enjoy that takes too much time

Mis management comes from small perspectives

There are three things we all need to manage well – Self, Relationship and Work

Managing self is health

Managing relationship is appreciation

Managing work is prioritization, delegation and systematization.

Another word for Manage is care.

To care is to manage.

Sometimes not doing what others wants is the best care.

What you appreciate grows because people become as you treat them

The best way to grow yourself is to appreciate others.

There are two sides to everything. The wise person knows both.

The leader knows both and focuses on the positive.

Finally, most people deliberately sabotage their management

Most people are not in love with who they are with and what they do

But most important, most people want to change themselves, rather than be themselves

To appreciate someone, you must not want to change them.

See over for how…..
There are three things we need to manage in our lives:

Self

Other

Work

If we mismanage any of these, they become hard work. We define hard work as not enjoyable or too time consuming.

If we mismanage our relationship, for example, then we will have to spend allot of time in our relationship trying to fix it. But if we manage our relationship well, then the time we spend in our relationship will be enjoyable, positive and beautiful. If we mismanage our work, then it will consume more and more time. Finally, when there is no more time it can consume, mismanaged work will consume our energy and then our bank account.

If we mismanage our self, we will self obsess. Self obsess means we become obsessed with ourselves. Then we become addicted. Addicted to food, sympathy, sleep, drugs computers. Self obsession means we think we are very important. More important than other people. So we don’t care about others, we care about ourselves. Then we are mismanaging ourselves, we are only deluding ourselves.

Good management means CARE. To care is to manage. If you care for your work, you will care for customers, clients, suppliers, staff. If you mismanage you will not care, you will only want to do the right thing because it makes money. Good management means care drives profit, instead of profit drives care.

Good management in relationship means care. And because caring for others is really caring for self. (same topic) those who care for their relationship end up managing themselves well too. A person who cares about others will not feed them badly, not feed them excess of drinks and more. This is care. Sometimes care looks like it doesn’t care. It looks cold or hard because it doesn’t give a child what it wants. But care means to do the most healthy thing, not fulfill others expectation.

Bad management results in breakdown.

Nervous breakdown means bad management of the mind

Health breakdown means bad management of mind and body

Relationship breakdown means bad management of love

Business breakdown means bad management of money

Sales breakdown means bad management of customers.

Tired at night means bad management of work.

Hard work is the result of bad management. Something that is managed well does not require hard work. In fact, good management means that work is not work at all. It is a passion. Passion builds energy, work consumes it.

Most, if not all bad management comes from a small perspective on things. If our perspective is narrow, we will manage for the present, in the moment. This is very bad management. We must manage for the future. Things become as you treat them. Sometimes we have to give up something today so we can have profit tomorrow. Sometimes we have to tolerate something today that will grow into tomorrow. Bad management comes from they lack of awareness of cumulative decisions.

Some people think what happens today is the result of yesterdays thinking. But this is wrong. What happens today is the cumulative result of your whole life of thinking. What happens in your relationships today is the cumulative result of little things that have happened along the way. Little chips eventually carve marble. So in relationship, little quips, eventually carve the relationship. Bad management is negative quips. Good management is positive quips.

There are two sides to everything. This is the first law of nature. The wise person knows it. They don’t mismanage by having such a small perspective that there is only one side to a coin. Some people think they can find a perfect partner, and this is true, unless that perfect partner is only a good and not a bad person. Little perspectives on business, others, and self are aimed at narrowing the permissible limits. They look for half, and dismiss the other.

This is bad management. But good management appreciates. Good management appreciates both the good news and the bad news. Good management is not deluded into thinking it can find a situation where there is no challenge. No, good management sees both sides to anything and everything.

What you appreciate grows. Good management is to appreciate things. Make them bigger. You make people bigger by appreciating them. You make businesses bigger by appreciating it’s assets. You make relationships bigger by appreciating how much you can do together as a couple (rather than as two individuals) and you make yourself bigger by appreciating life, and the gifts you have.

You depreciate all of the above by trying to change it.

Good management means to get more done in less time. If you are spending more time to get more results, this is bad management. We all rise to our level of incompetence. Spending too much time at work, at home, on self, in order to get more results is the opposite to creativity. It is an old fashioned idea that if you work harder things get better. And when picks and shovels were the only tools, there may have been a grain of truth. Now, creativity means, How do I do more in the same time, or even more in less time.

The final word. Most people deliberately mismanage things. Consciously, we mismanage our time because if we had more time we wouldn’t know what to do with it or, we would have to spend it doing something we don’t like. Many, many, many people spend excessive hours at work because they hate their home life. And many people spend way too much time alone because they hate their relationship or their job. Many people are single because they self obsess with themselves and their own company. But love does not flourish in ones. One bird is not love. It is extinction.

Live with Spirit
Chris

innerwealth.com Chris Walker is a world leading change agent and author of more than 20 innerwealth.com/products.html books. Born and bred in Australia, he consults to people and organisations throughout the world on improved relationships, business, health and lifestyle through the application of the Universal laws of Nature. The result he offers is that we stay balanced, share loving relationships, work with passion, enjoy success, and live our personal truth. To learn more about Chris’s work and journeys to Nepal, visit innerwealth.com www.innerwealth.com

Here are some things to consider if you are interested in joining an online dating service for adults. The first thing to know is that with the multitude of sites available it pays to do some research before you join one. You may find yourself disappointed if you sign up to the first one you run across.

The reason to do some up front research is that there are sites that cater to just about everyone. Some specialize in a particular religion preference to sites that are designed for those who are only interested in a quick fling and everything in between. It is important to know what you are looking for when it comes to online dating so that you can choose a site that specializes in that area.

Once you have narrowed down what you are looking for when it comes to finding a date or relationship you can start pinpointing which service will work best for you. To help you here is a list of the some of the different type’s online dating services for adults:

Soul Mate or Life Partner: These are the sites you see the commercial on TV for. They specialize in finding that perfect someone with whom you can have a long and meaningful relationship with, maybe even getting married.

Religious: A variation on the soul mate dating site, these type of sites target a specific religious preference matching people who share the same religious beliefs and views.

Sexual Partner: These sites are specifically set up for adults looking for someone to have a purely physical relationship with. Do be warned that they can have highly charged sexual content on them and they normally charge more then more mainstream sites.

Friends: While these types of sites don’t necessarily qualify as dating sites they are a good way to meet and interact with other people. Sites such as MySpace or FriendFinder are great ways to meet new and interesting people or even find old friends you may have fallen out of touch with.

Specialty Dating Services: These types of sites are more location specific. They specialize in matching people who live in the same general area. These adult dating sites are good choices for those who do not want to travel far for dating purposes.

Using an online dating service for adults is a great way to meet new people who may be of interest to you in a romantic sense. You can literally connect with people all over the world, greatly increasing your chances of finding that someone special who may just be the one you have been searching for.

Andrew Bicknell is a writer and owner of romancinghearts.com/online-dating-for-adults.htm Romancing Hearts.com. Visit his website for more advice about Online Dating, Romance, and matchmaking.

Question From A Reader:

I told a woman that I like her and asked her how she felt about me.

So basically, first she says she likes me, then, she says se doesn’t, then, she says she doesn’t know. Is she just trying to keep me open as a fall-back plan because she knows I like her?

What action should I take right now, I mean, I’ve been trying to get her to just say it for the past two days, but she just says that she can’t tell me. What’s up?

Answer:

I imagine that once you told her that you liked her it had her rather confused. She really doesn’t know how she feels about you and her knowing that you like her means that she doesn’t like you the way you like her.

She likes you as a friend and doesn’t want to lose that, yet knows since you like her and asked her how she feels that she risks losing your friendship if she tells you no.

In other words, your telling her how you feel and demanding to know how she feels, for whatever reason, has made her scared to give you the “Let’s just be friends” speech.

Considering her hesitation in telling you the truth, your best plan of action is to give her what she fears the most; stop talking to her.

Hopefully, just being friends is unacceptable for you and if so, since you already know that’s where you are right now, there is no need to hear her answer.

However, you might sill have just enough value in her life, that you cutting off communication with her will cause her to become attracted to you.

No matter what happens this time, it is important to understand that if you tell a woman you like her and don’t know how she feels, more than likely you are headed towards the “friend zone”.

Teddy Shabba is a Dating Coach for Men who has a daily newsletter that provides you with a wealth of information on how to be more successful with women. You can sign up for the Teddy Shabba dating-advice-coach.info/datingadvicenewsletter.htm Dating Advice Newsletter for Men now.

Also with over 500 articles from a variety of dating experts just for men our dating-advice-coach.info/DatingandSeductionArticles.htm Dating Advice and Seduction Article Database is the perfect place for any man.

To learn more about How To Attract Women visit our article section dating-advice-coach.info/attractwomen.htm Attract Women Today

Visual attraction is a key factor in establishing romance, first impressions really do count in this as much as if not more than in other aspects of life and, shallow as it may sound, human beings do tend to make snap judgements about each other based on their appearance.

At its root, our attraction to each other based on looks stems from evolutionary impulse – we have certain deep seated factors that determine our perception of physical attractiveness which are fundamentally related to health, well-being and strong, well rounded genetic makeup. In other words, attraction to members of the opposite sex is grounded in a subconscious assessment that they are good breeding stock!

Notably this analysis only holds any water when applied to heterosexual attraction, since homosexual relationships cannot produce progeny the concept of breeding stock does not apply. Leaving out the detailed analysis of human psychosexuality that this train of thought would tend to lead to, it is certainly true that both male and female homosexuals have often been at the forefront of progressive body image politics.

Questions of sexual orientation aside, humans seem to have a natural revulsion for the disfigured or physically disabled on some basic animal level. A key indicator of a society’s level of civilisation is its capacity to intellectualise and thereby surpass its baser instincts, and determine a social order that does not simply reflect gut reactions. Indeed, in our current society the position and treatment of disfigured and/or disabled people is at what amounts to probably its most positive level at any time in our history, and yet some taboos remain in place more firmly than others. The sexuality of disabled people, for example, remains a largely unspoken subject. For years and years disabled children and adolescents were denied any sex education whatsoever as the common accepted wisdom was that they would not need to know as no-one would find them desirable. This issue is further compounded by mainstream, able-bodied society’s readiness to label any able bodied individual who does find him or herself attracted to people with unconventional body types (including but not limited to those with disablilties or serious disfigurement) as a pervert.

The very fact that this issue exists indicates that there is a positive answer; that yes, in many cases, love is blind. Love, by virtue of it’s very nature is in some ways a very individual and private thing, yet it is also a thing that society at large feels entitled to comment on and to set boundaries for. Until society, to coin an oxymoron, opens its eyes wide enough to achieve that same blindness, an uphill struggle seems inevitable for those for whom love truly does transcend the boundaries of the physical.

Croydon J Hounslow works for loopylove.com an online chat service