Here are 8 Pina Principles to sidestep obstacles, crossover financially, and win in your marriage:

1 – Use Your Strengths

Typically every marriage has a spender and a saver. Generally one person is better at saving. The saver can view the spender as immature and irresponsible. On the other hand, the spender sees the saver as too frugal and a dream killer. Instead of letting it divide you, use the strength of the saver to stick to your financial savings plan and build financial security for the family.

2 – Trim the Excess Fat

The average household carries about $10k in credit card debt. To begin eliminating excessive debts you need more money to conquer the habits that enslaved you. You can gain more money by reducing the “extras” and your living expenses. Cut out the monthly shopping sprees, eating out at extravagant restaurants, stop loaning family and friends money, and increase your insurance deductibles. We had to give up going to Starbucks and Stop & Shop everyday and purchase a home warranty to alleviate unexpected home repair costs. Where can you slash costs? Every little bit adds up and can go towards paying extra to eliminate your debt.

3 – Be a Team

According to a Harris Interactive survey, only 50% of couples maintain combined accounts while 18% keep separate bank accounts. Wow! Only half were team players with their spouse. To win financially utilize a team approach. One thing that has always been true for my husband Stanley and I is that what I have is his and whatever he has is mine. So when I wasn’t working, he dipped into his 401k savings repeatedly for our expenses and when he wasn’t working, I did the same and carried the load financially. If I ate, he ate. When I paid “my bills,” “his bills” were paid in tandem. If I treated myself to something special, I treated him as well. This set the tone for us, in the sense we never fought about this is “my money” or that is your bill. After all, arguing is not going to reduce your monthly debt!

4 – What’s the Grand Total?

As Stanley and I began to take steps to become financially free, we identified our total debt amount. I’ll never forget that day. I called Stanley on the cell phone and said, “What do you think our total debt is?” He guessed a couple of numbers and neither of them were accurate. I couldn’t believe the number either. Why? Because we constantly guesstimated our debt by saying it’s about $20k or we don’t have a lot of debt only $25k. It was neither. The truth about your total debt will set you free. Find out your grand total and use it to mobilize your debt free campaign.

5 – Get a Grip

Get a grip and keep track of your money and budget. It can be as simple as an Excel spreadsheet to track income and expenses or a software package such as Microsoft Money or Intuit’s Quicken.

6 – Talk, Talk, Talk

Find a way to communicate in a healthy manner about your family’s financial plan and goals. As we know, money can be the number one stressor in marriage. It is what some couples fight about the most. Many of these fights are the result of unclear or unspoken expectations. We strongly urge you to block off time for financial planning and discussions to track progress or lack thereof.

7 – Move Forward Now

I shoulda did “x” or I woulda did “y” isn’t gonna get you free in your finances. It’s done now. Don’t pout about it, blame your partner, or let it paralyze you into inactivity. Think of it like this, the longer you do nothing, the longer you stay in bondage. Commit to moving forward now.

8 – Fess Up

You need help with your finances. Admit it…things have snowballed into some serious debt and you are in the red. If so, get some help. It could be a combination of a financial planner, securing additional income, or a coach to identify the things you believe about money that are keeping you in debt. In either case talking to an objective professional partner can ease some of the tension.

Being in a financially out of control relationship is no fun and certainly isn’t glorious. If you need the professional help I referenced in this article, get it and get financially free. There is help…even some professionals come to your home. So what’s your excuse now?

Limitlessly free,

Karen M. Pina

GOD’s Coach

(c) 2007 Gifts Ordained By Direction/Karen M. Pina. All Rights Reserved

Karen M. Pina is a leadership coach and the CEO of Gifts Ordained by Direction godscoach.com/ (www.godscoach.com), a coaching practice that addresses everyday leadership issues. Pick up a copy of Karen’s book “Leadership FITness” fit-leaders.com/ (www.fit-leaders.com) and get FIT physically, financially, and spiritually.

Mine for the gems in your career, relationships, and leadership development by godscoach.com/eMailSignUp.html joining the many readers of Gem News. Subscribe now and instantly receive a free audiobook chapter on career fitness. You can partner with Karen for more support around what you have just read or allow her to mentor you to become a certified coach.

Finding the perfect destination wedding dress is not always an easy task, and the wedding dress that is perfect for one destination may be inappropriate for another.

It is important, therefore, to not only match the destination wedding dress to your own taste and style but to the nature of the destination as well.

A Beach Wedding Dress

For instance, beach weddings are among the most popular of all destination weddings, and getting married on the beach certainly can provide memories that last a lifetime.

A beach wedding, however, will require a different kind of destination wedding dress than a dress for a traditional church wedding, and it is important to take those special needs into account.

Understanding the Nature Of The Wedding

For instance, you probably would not want the wedding dress you choose for a wedding on the beach to have a long flowing train. You may instead want to opt for a shorter and sportier type of wedding dress, perhaps even a strapless model to show off that great tan.

When shopping for a destination wedding dress it is important that the designer have a good idea of the nature of the wedding. This will allow the wedding dress designer to make more appropriate suggestions as to the type of dress that would be best.

Having Fun When Looking For Your Wedding Dress

Of course there is no reason that shopping for a destination wedding dress cannot be lots of fun, and it is important to keep that sense of fun about you as you shop for the perfect dress.

Too many of us allow ourselves to get caught up in the stress of planning a wedding, and we forget that the wedding is first and foremost a celebration of love.

If you can remember that the wedding is a celebration you will be better able to avoid the stress that sometimes comes with the search for the perfect destination wedding dress.

Shaunta Pleasant is a professional writer and editor on wedding topics. Visit my site to learn more about planning the perfect wedding at
best-wedding-plan.com/destination_wedding_dress.html best-wedding-plan.com/destination_wedding_dress.html

Remarriage is challenging in the best of situations. While most people are very excited about the idea of remarrying, very few adequately prepare themselves for the minefield of challenges that lie in wait for them. You should! Believe it or not, the remarriage divorce rate is at least 60%.

Today, let’s take a look at seven of the most important questions to ask yourself and your partner before you start moving full steam ahead with the wedding plans.

1. How long have we dated?

Remarriage research shows us that the longer the dating period the more successful the marriage. Most remarriages happen quicker than first marriages. Typically, the rule of thumb for first marriages is to date at least a year. There’s a lot more work that remarrying couples need to do and a whole lot more players involved. Dating longer gives both of you the time to get to know one another, help any children adjust, and gets you past that really early time in relationships when you’re blindly in love and overlook any faults that your partner may have.

2. How long have I been divorced?

Again, most remarriage research suggests that waiting a period of at least 2 years before remarrying allows for the greatest chance for success. I know you may be thinking, “Two years!!”. However, take a minute and think about it. There are a lot of tasks you need to complete before you’re ready to make another commitment to marriage.

3. How well do my children know my new partner?

Your remarriage will be a HUGE change for your children. This is bringing a new person into their lives whether they want them or not. Their reaction to this person will have a major impact on your marriage. It’s in your best interest for your children to meet this person. All of you should spend time together to get a feel for what that new life will be like.

4. How do I know if my kids are ready?

Divorce or death of a parent can be an extremely traumatic situation for your children. Think about how you, as an adult, experienced the situation. You have ways of coping that you have learned over the years. As children, they’ve not had the opportunity or ability to learn those yet. Most researchers agree, that children are typically one step behind their parents in the grief process. What does this mean? Just about the time you let the kids know you are planning to remarry, they are finally becoming comfortable with single-parent life.

5. Am I emotionally ready to move on?

A remarriage by definition means a loss has occurred, whether by divorce or death. Those losses need to thoroughly be reviewed and dealt with. If there are “ghosts” from the past, they will constantly haunt your new marriage and leave it vulnerable. Also, if you are still hurt from what happened in the past, you won’t be able to make partner choices as effectively as you would if you were healed.

6. What do we need to know about being a part of a step family?

This is critical. Step families are NOT nuclear families. There are completely different dynamics. Without being armed with this knowledge before the wedding, you are setting yourselves up for failure. You don’t get time to learn as you go because those dynamics will be in full force after the “I do’s”. If you’ve not taken the time to educate yourself beforehand, you will be playing catch-up along with just trying to deal with the everyday stressors of being newlyweds.

7. What do my partner and I expect from this marriage?

This is an important exercise in first marriages, but doubly so with a remarriage. One of the best ways at getting at this information is to talk about how these things were done, or not done, in your previous marriage and how you felt about it.

My hope is that, at the very least, these 7 tips will get you thinking and talking seriously about the realities of remarriage. It’s not all gloom and doom, but the honest truth is that it’s tough. Without adequate preparation, the odds are against you no matter how strong you think your relationship is right now.

Knowing the questions is the first step. Are you ready to really UNDERSTAND and most importantly APPLY them to your unique situation? Are you ready to achieve remarriage success? Visit RemarriageSuccess.com/7questions.htm RemarriageSuccess.com/7questions.htm to receive a special offer and learn about the breakthrough book and workbook these questions are based out of. Alyssa Johnson, MSW, LCSW is the founder and CEO of Remarriage Success. She encourages your feedback and questions. She can be reached at RemarriageSuccess.com/contact.htm RemarriageSuccess.com/contact.htm.

When a man feels like he’s a woman, he can feel trapped. When a man wants to be like a woman, he can find it hard. When a man does his best, and ends up looking and behaving like a man instead of a woman, it can be disappointing.

All walks of society have men who are keen to feel and act like women. This is not necessarily a sexual thing, though it can be. These men can find it simple to dress up as women; with makeup, women’s clothes and false bras, amazing things can be done.

Of course, some men go to the ultimate step of surgery and hormone treatment. They literally become women, to the extent that today’s technology allows.

However, even with surgery, a man still needs to “unlearn” his manly behavior and learn new womanly behavior. How is a man to achieve such a daunting task? And can he learn to do it as naturally and effortlessly as a woman does it?

The answer to the last question is, “Yes, it can be done.” If a man watches and listens carefully to women, noticing the finest nuances, he will learn many things. His subconscious mind also learns and takes note. The man practices and practices, maybe in front of the mirror and in front of trusted friends.

It takes time, but it will be worth it in the end.

Now, how can such a man speed up the process and make it more thorough? If his subconscious mind notices things that he consciously does not, how can he get himself to use those mannerisms too?

The answer to all those questions is to get the subconscious to create the behaviors. We all know many things that we do automatically without thinking; some people have a bad habit that they don’t even realize until someone points it out to them. This is the power of the subconscious — to generate these behaviors and mannerisms completely automatically.

The only known reliable way to achieve this in a short time is through hypnosis. Although feminization hypnosis can’t actually get a man to grow breasts or lose his facial hair, it certainly can help him learn new ways of talking, walking and behaving in a much shorter time. It can also make him more womanly (or even “girly”, if he chooses) than he would have without it.

landau.ws/articles-to-help/thoughts–digressions/feminization.html” target=”_blank Feminization hypnosis takes a man into a hypnotic trance, and works directly with his subconscious to incorporate new feelings, new behaviors and new ways of talking. It can be used for men who want to change themselves permanently, or for men who want to be feminine only part of each day or week.

If you are interested in the topic of landau.ws/articles-to-help/thoughts–digressions/feminization.html” title=”Feminization feminization or where to get feminization hypnosis, you can read more about feminization and some interesting aspects of it.