The starry eyed bride and puffed up with pride groom believe their marriage was made in heaven and trust it will work.

The client couple sit in front of the marriage counsellor and say; “This just isn’t working.” or “I’m not IN love anymore.”

Marriages don’t work but couples can work to make the style of marriage they desire. They can rekindle that IN love feeling.

Genuine relationships are based on agreements the couple make with each other. Not only do they make deals, they work to hold up their part of the responsibilities they assume. If one agrees to do the laundry and the other to handle the garbage, they accept the job and do it without having to be asked, nagged or reminded. In a well functioning marriage each partner takes their roles and responsibilities seriously.

They do not:

1. see their partner as a parent.

2. treat their partner disrespectfully.

3. shrink from the practical jobs of running their home.

4. blame their partner for their unhappiness.

5. run home to mom or others and complain about their spouse.

They do:

1. act like a responsible adult.

2. speak politely with no swearing and name calling.

3. accept it was their choice in partner.

4. make time and have energy for sexual activities.

5. laugh and play together.

So often when responsibility walks in the door, romance flies out the window. Romance and responsibility are opposites and every marriage needs both.

One way to work at marriage is to discuss problems with your spouse and not with someone who has no power or ability to solve the problem. Too often people turn to a family member, a friend or start a new relationship instead of clearly identifying the problem and working it through with their partner. Problems can be solved. It takes two willing partners who are committed to being married to each other. Sometimes it take professional help.

Marilyn Barnicke Belleghem M.Ed., is a registered marriage and family therapist with a private practice in Burlington Ontario Canada and author of books on personal growth through travel. Questing Marilyn: In Search of My Holy Grail (Quest Publishing Canada 2003) takes the reader through sacred and historic sites in England and Ireland and involves the search for the authentic adult Self. It explores: “Who can I be when I am free to be my Self?” Questing France: Deepening the Search for My Holy Grail (2005) is the process of holding onto the Self when in a marriage relationship. It explores flirtations, infidelity, qualities of a functional marriage as well as parenting children through marital conflict. Questing France explores the questions: “Can I be me when I am with you?” and “Why do people stay in a marriage after an affair?” questpublishing.ca questpublishing.ca

Whether you call it cheating, unfaithfulness, adultery, an affair, or marital infidelity, it causes devastating pain and major crises in marriages. Surprisingly, half of marriages survive infidelity and some even get better. Infidelity spurs 50% of couples who experience it to reassess their marriages and make changes, often with the help of counselors. About 15% of wives and 25% of husbands cheat.

Causes of Infidelity

The causes of infidelity are numerous and can be simple or complicated. Affairs occur in both happy and unhappy marriages. Usually, both spouses are responsible for the situation. The causes of infidelity include: a mid-life or pre-midlife crisis, low self-esteem, lack of love and attention given to a spouse, anger, boredom, marrying too young, peer pressure, the existence of an opportunity, disappointment in the marriage, sex addiction, as a way to leave the marriage, and even family expectations!

Types of Affairs

Sometimes adultery is due to an addiction to sex or romance. A new relationship provides passion, excitement, danger, sexual highs, romance, and either greater self-esteem or shame.

Some affairs are due to men who believe that extramarital relationships are something they are entitled to by gender. There is little or no guilt felt by these husbands and their birth families sometimes condone their behavior. There may be peer pressure as well.

Other unfaithful spouses are driven by mid-life crisis (i.e.; fear of aging), anger toward the spouse for real or imagined wrongs, boredom, or disappointment in the marriage or the problems of living. These affairs often happen only if an opportunity presents itself.

The newest type of infidelity is one in which the participants weren’t searching for an affair, but got involved in a friendship at work or on the Internet that turned into an affair. This type of relationship includes emotional intimacy, secrecy and lying, and sexual feelings and actions. There may be peer (societal) pressure to participate in this type of affair as well.

The most serious type of affair is the one in which a married partner falls in love with someone outside the marriage, either unwittingly or as an excuse for leaving. This type of infidelity causes the most destruction of marriages.

Consequences of Infidelity

The consequences of infidelity include: divorce, depression, loss of trust, persistent anxiety, and an overwhelming feeling of loss. Many innocent spouses experience symptoms similar to post-traumatic stress disorder. Consequences of infidelity may also encompass obsessive thoughts about the details of the infidelity, suspiciously watching for indications of infidelity, “fight or flight” symptoms, anger and accusations, and flashbacks.

Results of Infidelity

After infidelity occurs, the partners must decide whether to save the marriage or separate and divorce. Each spouse may want a different outcome. Counselors and psychologists will work with couples to assist them in making a decision and implementing it. Negative emotions and symptoms must be addressed and a “safety zone” established. An atmosphere of honesty must be established with the spouse, while all contact with the partner in the affair must be stopped. The story of the affair must be told and its impact on the marriage addressed. Planning for the future of the marriage leads to healing, and, hopefully, forgiveness. Failing that, a divorce will take place.

If a marriage survives infidelity, it will become stronger and centered on the couple, not just on children; the dangers and temptations of infidelity are understood and addressed in order to avoid it; and the couple develops trust, renewed commitment, and shared responsibility for the ongoing success of the marriage.

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If you have recently undergone a divorce, you might be shocked when you are confiding your sense of loss to a friend, who then turns to you, and simpers, “Just get over it”.

Quite frankly, it’s unrealistic for any person who has undergone a trauma to simply “get over it”. Yet many people do expect that after the divorce is final, the divorcee should simply rebound into the social sphere, perky and poised. Reality check! It will take time to heal. Having said this, there are things you can do, to help yourself move forward.

1. Be Gentle with Yourself

Be aware that in your journey forward, there will be some steps backwards along the way. When a setback happens, for example, you become emotional at a family reunion, accept your feelings as legitimate and in fact, a necessary part of the healing process.

2. Express your Appreciation

Before you go to sleep each night, express your appreciation for all that you have. You may possess a lot of anger and sorrow. However, by concentrating your thoughts on your blessings, you can adopt, at least temporarily, a positive frame of reference.

3. Don’t Rush the Natural Order of Things

If you feel ready to re-enter the social scene immediately after your divorce is final, and you know what you are seeking in a dating partner, congratulations! If you don’t feel ready 6 months subsequent to the finalization of your divorce, that’s okay, as well. However, if a year elapses and you are still reluctant to try dating, you may need a gentle nudge from a trusted friend.

4. Challenge Yourself with a Completely New Creative Outlet

You might think that you have no creative skills, for example, you can’t draw or paint. Try a pottery class, or belly dancing. There are many venues for the expression of creativity, try something completely novel.

5. Surround Yourself with Positivism

Do what you can to try to ensure that your environment emits positivism. This may mean switching from the blues on your radio to a cheery Hawaiian radio channel or buying a brand-new calendar with pictures of sunflower and inspirational phrases contained in every month. Keep positive images in your line of vision.

6. Connect with Others Who Can Relate

Connect with women and men as well, who can relate to your experience and share in the new experiences that you will face. For example, if you are shy about re-entering the dating scene, you will need a “partner-in-crime”. If you don’t know any persons that are in the same situation as yourself, make new friends by joining a local divorce support group.

7. Take Care of Yourself

If you have children, you are probably focused on taking care of your children, however, don’t neglect yourself. This means eating healthfully, getting sufficient sleep and proper exercise. Even on those days when you feel down, make sure your hair is nicely styled and you put a smile on your face. Throw your shoulders back. You should be proud of yourself for being the beautiful, strong and capable woman that you truly are.

8. Live Well

It is commonly said that the best revenge is “living well”. Show your ex that you can live a good life without him, and live well! Determine what makes you happy and… do it! For example, after my own divorce, I attended Phantom of the Opera with a friend. It was so uplifting, and I was in disbelief that I had not attended a musical for over a decade. I promised myself to attend a musical on a regular basis thereafter.

Above all else, concentrate on tomorrow rather than yesterday and continue moving forward to a future with abundance and happiness.

Terri Mann is the founder of womandivorcesupport.com womandivorcesupport.com where you’ll find divorce advice and support geared towards divorced women and their truly unique recovery processes.

Senior dating is a challenging subject as more people live longer and expect to have a social life. If you are past the age of retirement and single, do you know how to find a date?

Finding interesting people to go out with can be a problem at any age, but if you are a senior, where can you go and what can you do to meet someone? Never let your age keep you from having a social life if you want one. There are plenty of people to meet who want to meet you. Here are some dating strategies for seniors that will get you started:

*Friends and Family

One of the best ways to meet people is through friends and family. It is through networking that you get invited to weddings, graduations, reunions, parties, funerals, celebrations, anniversaries, religious holidays, work-related events, and other gatherings. Don’t be afraid to let people know that you would enjoy meeting someone.

*Beliefs, Interests, and Hobbies

Attending your place of worship or volunteering for your favorite political candidate puts you in the arena of your strongly held values. People you meet in these places will hold many of the same convictions that you do. And what are your interests? Do you like to garden? Visit the home show or flower show in your area. Do you like to volunteer at the literacy center? Look for other interested people who do the same. Do you play tennis, swim, golf, or play bridge? You will find many like-minded people enjoying these same pursuits who may also be single and senior. What are your interests and hobbies? Look for clubs and groups that represent your interests. Follow that lead and it will take you to some new friends.

*The Internet

Having a computer is one of the most important connecting tools you will ever own. You can meet many, many other seniors who would like to chat, email, and meet you for a date. If you do not have a computer, you can use one at your senior center or at the public library. You can also find a used one reasonably priced in your local newspaper. If you need help learning how to use a computer, take classes for free at your local high school, college, religious group, senior center, or at your YMCA. Get a high school student, neighbor, friend or relative to take the time to show you how to use it. Ask around. Help is out there. Seniors can easily become isolated…especially if you are suffering any ailments. But the computer can keep you in touch with others. And it can keep you dating.

If you are a dating senior, you will find many people who are interested in meeting you. All you have to do is reach out and try. Don’t give up.

Visit tonjaweimer.com” target=”_new tonjaweimer.com or singlesdatingtips.com” target=”_new singlesdatingtips.com for more tips, skills, and insight on dating, relationships, singles, and love. Subscribe to our F*ree Savvy Dating Newsletter from master single’s coach, life coach, and syndicated columnist, Tonja Weimer. Copyright 2006, Tonja Weimer. (Please note source if reprinting this article.)

Avoiding the Pitfalls of Fraud

Most men agree that Russian women are some of the most attractive in the world, up there with the best of nations such as Brazil, Venezuela and Romania. But, is finding a beautiful Russian who is honest and legitimate, and who wishes to marry a Westerner a real option anymore? Fortunately, the answer to that question is still Yes. Finding those quality women, however, is an increasingly difficult task in today’s Internet marketplace.

The best option for finding a Russian bride is to travel to Russia, explore and travel the country, get to know the culture and feel for the language, and take care of business the old fashioned way – that’s right, walk right up and talk to her. If she doesn’t speak English, you’re on to the next. If traveling to Russia is out of the question, for financial or other reasons, finding a beautiful Russian bride is still possible, but requires additional caution.

Searching Google or Yahoo for Russian women will quickly uncover thousands of sites such as Date Russian Brides.com or Single Brides.com and many others. How do you know which is legit? You don’t. No dating site on the Internet is immune from fraud and international scam, not one. This knowledge alone can save the customer a lot of time, money and heartache.

The warning signs:

1. A woman who falls in love quickly, too quickly.

2. A woman with model like photos, like out of a magazine.

3. A woman who soon asks for money for visa or “emergencies”.

4. A woman who writes very general, almost form-like letters.

5. A woman who never speaks about herself or her family.

Now that you’re aware of the warning signs and you understand that fraud and scams from Eastern Europe are rapidly rising, you’re on the right track. But, what if the relationship progresses and you’re considering a serious committment? Get her checked out with a professional investigation from Wymoo. You’ve been talking with this woman for 6 months, and you trust her, you say. Too many victims have said the same, and still lost big. How does it happen? In short, the scammers are professionals.

More than ever… be skeptical and get her checked out!

Best of luck,

A. Hathaway

Copyright © 2005-2007 A. Hathaway

A. Hathaway has 20 years of experience in fraud prevention, foreign markets, international investigations and background checks. His ongoing travel experience consists of over 35 countries and 6 continents.

He has worked as a consultant for major firms including wymoo.com Wymoo International and maintains his own detective1.blogspot.com blog.

Having a girlfriend can be a dangerous thing. We become too dependent on our woman for our happiness, and then if we get dumped, we find that we’ve all of a sudden lost our confidence. This results in having trouble meeting new women, being without sex for many months, until we finally get a girlfriend again, and… the cycle repeats.

So to break this cycle, we need to REMAIN the attractive guy, the alpha male.

You see, relationships can make us guys too lazy (since the sex is so easy) and we lose that “high value” mindset. It’s crucial to keep that alpha male frame of mind that says, “I am like a Lamborghini.”

Do Lamborghini dealerships grovel to try to get people to like them? Of course not. Instead they allow all the buyers to come to them. Hell, Lamborghini doesn’t even advertise. As a man, you should have a similar confident mindset if you want to maximize the attraction your girlfriend feels for you.

So, how do you keep that alpha mindset? First and foremost, avoid chasing your girlfriend like a puppy dog. A basic concept which will prevent her from ever treating you badly is what I call Punishment and Reward.

If a woman engages in behavior which you disapprove of, punish her by withdrawing your time and focusing on something (or someone) else. If she does something you like (such as having sex with you), reward her by giving her more of your time, talking about her feelings, etc.

So whenever you do something nice for her, do it because you’re rewarding her. And DO reward her good behavior, if you want more of it. Like I said, Punishment and Reward.

Then there’s the issue of being a challenge. Women act sweet when you’re a challenge to them. They act bitchy when they take you for granted and no longer feel like they need put out effort to win your affections.

Often by around month 6 in a relationship is when a woman really starts to take a guy for granted, so avoid that by remaining a challenge.

So the solution to remaining the attractive, alpha guy in your relationships is threefold:

1. Always be willing to focus your time on things other than your girlfriend. Don’t reward her for acting bitchy by continuing to be around her when she does. On the other hand, too, reward her for good behavior by giving her more of your time when she acts sweet.

2. Always have it in the back of your mind that you could end the relationship at any time. Don’t explicitly threaten her with that, but just make it a subtle implication. That way she’ll never become truly comfortable with the relationship and will keep working to win you.

3. Always allow her to think that’s she’s just a little bit more interested in you than you are in her. Again, this can be very subtle, but if (for example) you’re telling her 20 times a day that you love her, and she’s only telling you that twice, then obviously the situation is badly out of whack.

John Alexander is author of alphamalesystem.com/ebook.html How to Become an Alpha Male, a dating and seduction success system that will maximize your chances of getting and keeping that dream woman you’ve got your eye on. Find out more by visiting alphamalesystem.com/ebook.html alphamalesystem.com/ebook.html

A kiss is one of the most beautiful things in a relationship. It is of the most intimate and romantic gesture of expressing love. How do you know which kisses are the best? The ones which leave you panting for more and are memorable are the best kisses.

A kiss can tell you a lot about where the relationship is heading. If the woman is not enjoying the kiss or does not respond to the kiss is expressing lack of interest in the relationship. The same goes for the man. If the woman stumbles for breath and pulls out in panic, the man is to be blamed for lack of kissing skills.

Stay in control while kissing your girl. The difference between an average kiss and a sensuous kiss is how you take the lead by keeping your hands on both sides of her face as you kiss her lips. It is better to cup your woman’s face in your palms while sharing the kiss. When you cup the face, you use the right amount of pressure of your mouth, as it focuses on her lips. Besides, the woman can feel the warmth of your skin. Give soft little bites on her ear lobes, and exhale air from your lips on her skin. The tiny puffs of air around her neck and ears could be chilling and sexy.

To integrate new kissing techniques, look in the mirror and kiss your arm or hand. Practice by kissing on your wrist wit closed lips and then mimic the smooching action by gently opening your lips.

V.S.ARUNRAJ believes that our sex life can be improved if we care enough to go back to our roots(ie, nature) and ingrain humor and love in our lives. There is a lot of unparalleled power in the natural cure for menopause if you care for your body. To learn about the secrets to great sex life for both men and women, howtohavebettersex.blogspot.com/ Visit the blog which stirs you

Men are highly visual creatures but there also interested in their partners psychology and here we are going to show you how to use both by taking the initiative to get the man of your dreams.

In society we have seen a blurring of the traditional roles of men and women and women have started to assert themselves more in society, as well as work and more are doing so with their sex lives.

They know exactly what they want and how to get it.

Here we are going to show you how to appeal to a mans mind as much as his eyes to capture his intention.

Lets first look at dressing:

1. Dressing to impress

If you want t caputre a mans attention – your partner or someone you desire then its time to be sexy and femmine.

The trick with dressing to attract is to look sexy without being tarty ( when out of the bedroom) and this involves using the usual sexy clothing but only accentuating one half of the body – NOT Both.

For example, if you have great legs show them off and use killer highs to grab a mans attention – heels are one of the biggest turn ons for men so use them, most men cant resist them.

If your bust is your asset wear a tight top to show it off but don’t wear a short skirt.

The key is to be sexy get noticed, but don’t look like a hooker.

In the bedroom you can be as sexy as you like!

If you think about it many men frequent lap dancing clubs and strip clubs and you will find most men in the bedroom like heels, sexy underwear and sensual fabrics such as leather, so use them to your advantage.

A women who knows how to dress will get noticed.

2. Being the hunter and taking the lead in and out the bedroom

In society men are traditionally the hunters not women so turn the tables and become the hunter – This will appeal to men as most are simply not used to it, but its highly enjoyable for them for reasons we will explain later.

This bit of the article is all about hunting and taking control in the bedroom.

Here are some tips!

- Use sexy texts to put him off work and tell him what’s in store for him.

- When he comes home from work meet in nothing but lingerie and high heels.

- Undress him to show you are the one in control.

- Use the top position and can not only satisfy yourself but relieve the pressure on him to perform so he can simply lie back and enjoy the experience.

- Use oral sex – oral sex is loved by all men and you have him exactly where you want him if you learn the art of oral sex.

- Compliment him – the fact you are in control doesn’t mean you cant. It will appeal to his ego and make him feel good – Many men are concerned about their performance in the bedroom, so calm him down and make him relax.

Ladies, we live in an equal society yet in the bedroom men are still predominately the hunters – use your femininity to hunt him down and take control of your sex life.

A surprising amount of men enjoy women who are forward and get what they want – men are used to being in control and this can lead to pressure in all areas of life, not just the bedroom.

So if you take control not only can you enjoy it your man probably will to.

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Whether you are planning and party for 300 or an intimate gathering of your nearest and dearest, one great way to create a unique and personal impact at your wedding tables is to use place-names.
There are so many options available to brides nowadays that it can be overwhelming even trying to decide on what is best suited to your day. The sky’s the limit as to what you can spend. Favour companies offer everything from miniature gold handbags with intricate details to old brown paper luggage tags.

If you find costs are getting out of control but still want to have that wow factor, don’t worry, it is possible. Name cards can be just as effective. You could for example use old-fashioned present tags and wrap them around your napkins. You just need to be prepared to shop around and chat to other brides to see what options are available to you. The Internet is always a good place to start especially to get some great pictures, which may give you ideas.

If you are having a buffet wedding, tie the fork into the napkin also! You could simply have each name in a colourful envelope that coordinates with your wedding and inside have each guests name along with a photo for each guest of you and your groom. What a lovely little gift! If you a girl that loves to shop, have a look around at stores such as Clery’s, Arnotts, Brown Thomas, Monsoon etc as you can pick up some great oriental holders, pretty pastels, bold patterns etc.

Remember, sometime the most effective option can be the simplest! For example, if you have a cream theme, with cream chair covers etc, why not write your guests name on a piece of card in a vibrant ink (perhaps the colour of your bridesmaids dresses) and tie to each guests chair with a pretty ribbon! Gorgeous! Also, you could collect smooth stones, paint in a metallic colour and wrap some bendable wire around the grip your card with each guests name with this wire. Homemade and simple!

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We have launched the SimplyWeddings.com Newsworthy section which can be found on the Hompage, for both clients and bridal couples alike to keep them abreast of what’s happening both in celebrity engagements/weddings and in the “World of Weddings”.

SimplyWeddings.com also offer bridal consultations & a Wedding Co-Ordination Service using only professional and recommended suppliers.

When you host a bridal shower, you really want to focus on making the event special for the future bride. However, you also want to make it fun and exciting for those attending. Here are some quick and easy bridal shower games you can use that won’t cost you a fortune:

1. The Bridal Trivia Game: This will take some preparation, but is an inexpensive and fun game to show how much those invited truly know about the future bride. You can make it part observational, like what color shoes the future bride is wearing today, to “about the bride” questions, like where was the future bride born. You can even hold two separate trivia games and your bridal shower games will be completely covered. The person answering the most questions correctly will be the winner.

2. The “ABC” Game: All you need for this bridal shower game is a sheet of paper with the alphabet listed down the left hand side. Next to each item, party goers need to write something that starts with that letter that deals with a wedding. “A” could stand for a wedding “A”lbum. “B” could be a “B”ridal shower. “C” could represent the wedding “C”ake. Set the time limit for the game at only a minute. The person getting the most items listed in that time will be the winner.

3. A Bridal Scramble or Word Find: Using your computer, you can make up a bridal scramble or word find for a bridal shower game. For the scramble, you would take words associated with a wedding, like wedding gown, tuxedo, rings, church, reception hall, flower girls, ring bearer, and mix all the letters up. Those playing would have to unscramble the words into their appropriate form. For the word find, you could take similar words and hide them within a huge square of letters. The first person to unscramble all the words or find all the words will be the winner.

Little prizes are great for bridal shower games. Items like picture frames or candle holders can be decorated with little bows and ribbons for a special little gift.

Mrs. Party… Gail Leino is the internet’s leading authority on selecting the best possible partysupplieshut.com party supplies, using proper etiquette and manners while also teaching organizational skills and fun facts. bridal-showers.net Free Bridal Shower Games, printable activities, party planning tips, menus, recipes, and party supplies to help complete your event.